Mom (TV Series)

Nazi Zombies and a Two-Hundred-Pound Baby (2016)

Anna Faris: Christy Plunkett

Quotes 

• Christy : What? I'm just going out with my ex and my son for a family outing.

  Bonnie : She said as she applied a slightly whorish shade of lipstick.

  Christy : This is *your* lipstick.

• Christy : Roscoe mentioned that there's tension between you and Candace, and he's feeling it, Baxter.

  Baxter : Yeah, sorry, I got him noise canceling headphones but they *don't* cancel Candace.

• Christy : [to herself after tucking Roscoe in]  If I make him pancakes in the morning, he'll be mine forever.

• Christy : And get this, Candace made Baxter shave all the hair off his body because she complained he shed on her bed sheets.

  Wendy : Every last hair?

  Jill : [laughing]  He must look like a 200 pound baby.

• Baxter : So I guess caffeine's the only drug you have left.

  Christy : No, at New Year's Eve I had a cold, so I got to huff a little vapor rub.

  Baxter : We sure had some crazy New Year's Eves.

  Christy : And New Year's Days, checking all the jails and hospitals to find one another.

  Baxter : Yeah, you were always in the last place I looked.

• Baxter : Candace threw a Slimfast at me, even though it's only 190 calories, it still hurt.

  Christy : Oh, she's dieting so her wedding dress will fit, huh?

  Baxter : [laughs]  Yeah that's not gonna happen, not unless she falls in a mine and gets stuck there for a month.

• Bonnie : Look who's got a lady stiffy for her ex.

  Marjorie : Lady stiffy?

  [Jill whispers in her ear] 

  Marjorie : Oh... uck... yeah, it sounds like you do, Christy.

  Christy : What do you think, Wendy?

  Wendy : [sticks her pinkie finger up]  Shwing!

• Baxter : Here's the thing, my boss is watching, so do you mind if we pretend you're interested in buying this car?

  Christy : As long as you don't mind I'm pretending to have enough money *to* buy this car.

• Bonnie : I went ahead and made dinner.

  Christy : Oh thanks... what kind of dinner is pizza and French fries?

  Bonnie : Candace doesn't allow carbs at her house, so we're lobbying for Roscoe's love.

  Roscoe : She makes me eat sandwiches wrapped in lettuce, I'm sorry, but that's *not* a sandwich.