Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

Old vs. New: Cinderella (2016)

Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic, Devil Boner

Photos 

Quotes 

• [the Critic and the Fangirl are comparing the two versions of Cinderella herself] 

  Hyper Fangirl : Now, this one, you know you have to give to the remake. It's like everyone says: this Cinderella is stronger, more independent, more intelligent, and more developed than that simple songbird who does practically nothing in the first film. The audiences liked her, the critics liked her. Come on, this is, hands down, the winner.

  Nostalgia Critic : Well, I would agree with you if it wasn't for one solitary fact.

  Hyper Fangirl : What's that?

  Nostalgia Critic : You're all full of shit. What makes this Cinderella independent?

  Hyper Fangirl : Well, she leaves the house, goes into town, and has smart conversations with the Prince.

  Nostalgia Critic : Hmm. So if she could leave the house at any time, why does she stay there and take all that abuse?

  Hyper Fangirl : Well, like she says, it's her father's home.

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh, is that why she ends up leaving at the end anyway? And even if it was her father's home, why go through all that hardship just for that?

  Hyper Fangirl : Well, okay, it doesn't quite make sense, but the one in the other film could leave, too.

  Nostalgia Critic : Not... really. You see, in the original, the father died when she was just a child. This gives the stepmother plenty of time to brainwash her and make her think she's supposed to feel guilty and serve her family. And seeing how she was kept in the home all that time, this indicates that she doesn't know that much about how the real world works. She talks to rats and birds, for crying out loud! In the new one, the father dies when she's an adult; she leaves all the time. In fact, her friends... yeah, she has friends in this one... say she should leave that place! So this makes absolutely no sense. By attempting to make her "smarter" and "independent", they actually opened up a ton of plot holes, making her look dumber and weaker.

• [the Critic and the Fangirl are still debating which Cinderella is best] 

  Hyper Fangirl : [about the newer live-action version]  She's so charming!

  Nostalgia Critic : No. She's not allowed to be, because they're focusing more on her being "smart" and "independent". People miss what makes a strong character is how they deal with their flaws, their fears, their turmoils, their troubles that get in the way. That's what makes them relatable. But this Cinderella doesn't have any flaws, at least none that they'll acknowledge. You could argue she's too passive, but what does she do to solve that? Let someone else save the day and not even try!

  [he shows the animated Cinderella] 

  Nostalgia Critic : This Cinderella at least gave a shit, because while having a character be strong is good, it's more important to have them interesting first.

  [referring back to live-action] 

  Nostalgia Critic : This character is not interesting. I'm not gonna act like the original is the best written character, but you felt her pain, you understood her anger, and you cheered for her when things went right because she allowed you to see her most fragile moments.

  Hyper Fangirl : But... but... her dress!

  [shows off the live-action dress] 

  Hyper Fangirl : Did you... It looks so amazing!

  Nostalgia Critic : And that's why you're falling for it. It looks the part and sounds the part, but it's not portraying the part. It's like the two Charlies from the Willy Wonka movies. One is an emotional yet dreamful kid, and the other is Jesus! We're obviously going to relate with the one that acts like a real kid because we all were real kids; we could relate to that. It's the same thing here. It doesn't matter what you claim she is or isn't, if you don't connect with her, there's no emotion. And this movie has made it impossible to connect with her because they tried to make her flawless, ironically creating unintentional flaws with her that are never acknowledged or resolved.

  Hyper Fangirl : But... HER DRESS!

  Nostalgia Critic : Point goes to the old!

  Hyper Fangirl : OH, IT'S SO SPARKLY!

• Devil Boner : [as he and Benny the Assassin battle each other]  All right, ya wanna play dirty? Well, time to play with johnson justice!

• Nostalgia Critic : Disney has always created the greatest villains, and what's scarier than a middle-aged woman who's obsessed with housework?

  Hyper Fangirl : Virtually anything!

• Nostalgia Critic : [to Devil Boner and Hyper Fangirl]  How are you two still a thing?

  Devil Boner : What can I say? I love a woman that writes fanfiction about me.

  Hyper Fangirl : Oh, and we both held you hostage that one time. So we have that in common.

  Devil Boner : You did it better.

  Hyper Fangirl : YOU did!

  Devil Boner : No, YOU did!

  Hyper Fangirl : YOU did!

• [Hyper Fangirl and Devil Boner are acting lovey-dovey toward each other] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Hyper, isn't Benny gonna feel weird that you have another outlet for mindless violence?

  Hyper Fangirl : Oh, come on! He's a professional assassin. This kind of thing doesn't bother people like him.

  [Unbeknownst to her, however, Benny is actually watching the video on his phone and feels quite upset] 

  Benny the Assassin : It's nothing, Benny. Nothing. Just add her to the list.

  [he adds Hyper Fangirl to a list of "People Who Dun Fucked Up", which includes Fidel Castro, Kim Jong-Un and the cast of "Friends"] 

• Nostalgia Critic : Sometimes, a prince leaves no impact on you whatsoever.

  Hyper Fangirl : [offended]  Dude!

  [holds up a Purple Rain soundtrack CD] 

  Hyper Fangirl : Too soon!

  Nostalgia Critic : I was talking about the royal position!

  Hyper Fangirl : And I'm not?

  Nostalgia Critic : [sighs]  He's the arm candy of our main character's dream.

• Nostalgia Critic : [about the live-action film's Prince]  Okay, so, maybe this Prince has more charm, more personality, more screen time, more chemistry, and pretty much more of a connection with everybody he comes in contact with. But there is one thing that Prince does not have: a shit-ton of eyeliner!

  Hyper Fangirl : [holding up the Purple Rain album]  Dude, again, too soon.

  Nostalgia Critic : [defeated]  Just take the point.

  Hyper Fangirl : After you give him an apology.

  [Critic sighs] 

  Hyper Fangirl : He's waiting.

• [the Critic and the Fangirl are debating which Cinderella is better] 

  Hyper Fangirl : [referring to the live-action Cinderella]  Okay, so she's not the brightest wand in Hogwarts. But you have to admit, she's stronger. She's not as passive as the animated one.

  Nostalgia Critic : Really? In the original, she felt stuck in her position, but she clearly didn't like it. She did get angry, she did have her breaking points. Even though she was taught over the years to be a certain way, she was still human and relatable.

  [shows off the newer film] 

  Nostalgia Critic : This one, aside from her one big breakdown which they tried to do twice, she just kind of smiles and looks happy like a zombie most of the time. In fact, in the animated one, when it comes to being locked in the attic and held against her will, she does try to get out. She hits the door, she screams, she asks her animal friends for help. She does everything she can to get out of there. In the new one, she fully accepts her doom and just spins around in circles, humming to herself. Yeah, this is the strong, independent role model the critics were talking about. She actually escapes by MISTAKE, when the animals open up her window and they hear her voice. That's not strong, that's the definition of giving up while also being saved by luck!

• Nostalgia Critic : It's the fairy tale that teaches kids all around the world that it doesn't matter what you look like or where you come from, as long as you work hard and have a kind heart, you, too, can get a makeover. Cinderella is a tale that's been told countless times, but the most definitive version belonged to Disney animation in 1950. So it only figured when you have a moneymaker so iconic that it's cemented in everybody's memory, you remake it 65 years later. To much surprise, though, not only were there big names and astounding visuals, but it also got quite the critical backing, too, with people praising it for being such a stylized update. But as always, which one is better? Which one feels the most engaging, clever, and all around magical? Now, of course, being a big nostalgic persuasion, I have a little bit of a leaning towards the old.

  [he then turns to his side, as glitter forms around him] 

  Nostalgia Critic : If only I could wish for someone that had an opposite opinion of me...

  [nothing happens; he tries again, glitter and all] 

  Nostalgia Critic : If only I could wish for someone that had an opposite opinion of me...

  [still nothing] 

  Nostalgia Critic : If only I could... WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

  Hyper Fangirl : [appearing, dressed like a Fairy Godmother]  Sorry, this thing is really hard to walk in.

  Nostalgia Critic : Christ, even when I want you in a video, you can't get it right.

• [the Critic berates the Fangirl for messing up even when he wants her in a video] 

  Hyper Fangirl : Give me a chance. I have whimsical support on this one.

  Nostalgia Critic : Yeah? Who?

  Devil Boner : [bursting in]  DEVIL BONER!

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh, great! What whimsical support can you offer?

  Devil Boner : Hey! I can get in touch with my feminine side! Watch. SPARKLES!

  [Sparkles appear] 

  Devil Boner : BUTTERFLIES!

  [Butterflies appear] 

  Devil Boner : EXPLOSIONS!

  [the butterflies explode] 

  Hyper Fangirl : No!

  Devil Boner : No? Okay, no explosions, no explosions, but, um... ponies?

  Hyper Fangirl : Whatever.

  Devil Boner : PONIES!

  [ponies all run past] 

• Nostalgia Critic : [about to compare the two villains in the two "Cinderella" movies]  This one is rough because it really is like comparing apples to oranges.

  Hyper Fangirl : Well, to Snow White, that's an easy choice.

  Nostalgia Critic : The original is said by many to be one of the greatest Disney villains ever, with her style, grace and love of all the villainous things that she does. The only downside is, it's only explained in narration why she doesn't like Cinderella. Because of this, it's a little harder to identify with her motivation.

  Hyper Fangirl : In the new film, we see how her bitterness is born. She hears her husband confess that he preferred the first wife more, which makes her angry towards his offspring all the more understandable. We also see her slowly lure Cinderella into the role of servant, showing how patient and manipulative she can be.

  Nostalgia Critic : The downside to that is, it may make her too human by comparison.

• Nostalgia Critic : [comparing the villains in both Cinderella movies]  Which one is more frightening? The one whose motivations are made totally clear, or the one shrouded in mystery you're supposed to have no sorrow for? The original is so slimy and hateful, there's virtually no good in her at all, while the new one is so fragile and relatable that you can see the tragedy play out in every mean-spirited move that she makes. The original acts like someone who's in control, while the remake acts like someone who wants to be in control.

  Hyper Fangirl : I guess it's kind of like comparing Zuko with Frollo. Boy, one of them needs a breakfast cereal. One is sympathetic, while the other is pure evil, both still coming off as complex and interesting. So how do we really judge which one is best?

  Nostalgia Critic : Well, I guess whichever one scares us the most is the most intimidating.

  Hyper Fangirl : Well, I guess that speech that the new one made in the dark is creepy in its own right.

  [the Critic gestures offscreen, to reveal the animated version's stepmother's signature glare, scaring the Fangirl] 

  Hyper Fangirl : Aah! Uh, but the new one has the mind of a sociopath, which is very psychologically terrifying...

  [again, the Critic gestures offscreen to the animated stepmother's glare, again scaring the Fangirl] 

  Hyper Fangirl : But the new one has a more developed past, allowing her to...

  [once more, the Critic gestures toward the animated stepmother's glare] 

  Hyper Fangirl : Okay! She wins! God, that look is scary!

  Nostalgia Critic : [chuckles]  Some people just can't handle a good old-fashioned death glare.

  [the Fangirl angrily points offscreen to reveal Don Bluth giving a death glare of his own, startling the Critic] 

  Nostalgia Critic : You whore!

• Nostalgia Critic : Okay, are you gonna debate me on these Cinderella movies or not?

  Hyper Fangirl : There is no debating. The new one is better, if for no other reason that the lead actress had to lose two ribs to fit into that dress.

  Nostalgia Critic : But it's so sexist and bland.

  Hyper Fangirl : The ORIGINAL is sexist and bland!

  Nostalgia Critic : You just like it 'cause there's more flash sparkles to play to your inner five-year-old.

• Nostalgia Critic : While a lot of people give flak to several Disney princesses for not having enough character, people forget the princes weren't even given time to have character. "Snow White", "Sleeping Beauty", and yes, "Cinderella", all have princes with only a handful of lines.

  Hyper Fangirl : And where the one from "Sleeping Beauty" fought a dragon and the one from "Snow White" saved her from death, this one... yawns.

  Nostalgia Critic : Okay, look, it was a different time, a time when...

  Hyper Fangirl : Yawning was an attractive trait?

  Nostalgia Critic : I don't think you're taking to account how sexy that yawn was.

  Hyper Fangirl : Heck, his father gets more screen time in this. So does his servant, for that matter.

  Nostalgia Critic : [defensively]  Yes, yes, but... through them, we're discovering the Prince's character, and they are also relaying the chemistry between our two romantic leads...

  Hyper Fangirl : You got nothing.

  Nostalgia Critic : I got nothing.

  Hyper Fangirl : Now, with the remake, not only is the Prince given a lot more onscreen time, but there's also a lot of time to develop their chemistry. Cinderella and him meet before the ball, and they have time to talk like normal people and build an appreciation of each other. Even during the ball, they talk and share experiences that help them build a stronger connection. She doesn't just see him and declare, "This is love," like in the original.

  Nostalgia Critic : [arms folded and annoyed]  I wouldn't know anybody who did that.

  Hyper Fangirl : I've moved on, Critic. I found a more sensible love.

• [Benny is attempting to assassinate Hyper Fangirl with a sniper rifle, but Devil Boner takes the bullet for her, but surprisingly is not affected at all] 

  Devil Boner : There's twenty metal plates in my head. The only downside is, I don't know what half the words that begin with S mean. Ask me the definition of "seagull".

  Hyper Fangirl : What's the definition of "seagull"?

  Devil Boner : Stop making up words, honey!

• [the Critic and the Fangirl delve into the movies' supporting cast] 

  Hyper Fangirl : Though everyone remembers the talking mice in the original, they're very scaled down in the remake, to the point where they don't even speak.

  Nostalgia Critic : A different tone, to say the least, but everyone loves the singing mice and their...

  [in the movie, one of the female mice tells Jaq, "Leave the sewing to the women!"] 

  Nostalgia Critic : ... slightly sexist lines. Hey, Stallone knitted a sweater! But come on. Who could forget Lucifer the cat, or the horse, or the dog, or the King and servants, the stepsisters? These are characters we all remember.

  Hyper Fangirl : Yes, you remember them because there's a ton of time devoted to them, too much time. In the remake, the supporting cast stays exactly that: supportive. In the original, they hijack the movie on several occasions. While they're cute and all, they take time away from the more important elements, like the Prince and the chemistry they're supposed to build between him and Cinderella.

  Nostalgia Critic : But, hey, you were talking about how the King gets way too much time in the old one. He gets just as much time in the new one.

  Hyper Fangirl : Yes, but it's with the Prince. Every scene with him is helping develop the Prince's character even more, establishing his responsibilities, his goals, and his connection with his father. You never even see the Prince and his father together in the original, apart from an eye roll.

  Nostalgia Critic : But again, it was a very passionate eye roll.

• Nostalgia Critic : [talking about supporting characters]  I suppose the last big one to talk about is the Fairy Godmother. In the new one, she's played more for laughs because, well, she's Helena Bonham Carter, and that's what you do with her now.

  Hyper Fangirl : But you have to admit, some comedy is very welcomed after Cinderella is at her lowest moment. And also, she has to prove her worth by disguising herself as a homeless lady looking for water. And it's only after Cinderella gives it to her that she grants all her wishes.

  Nostalgia Critic : But isn't that kind of pointless? She has to know she's a kind person if she's showing up there. I mean, watching her like a "Godmother".

  Hyper Fangirl : Maybe, but have you figured this? Cinderella is in shambles. She can't go to the ball, her dress is ruined, and her family hates her. Most people in that state would be too frustrated to be nice to the old woman, so by helping someone else, even in her worst moments, it cements what a good person she is.

  Nostalgia Critic : I guess, but, I don't know. The other one talks to her like a loving grandparent. Someone she's familiar with enough to know she would do that anyway. She has a warmth and a comfort that needs to be seen after such hardship. I wouldn't want a laugh after going through all of this. I would want to feel supported. And after years of slaving for your family, suddenly being put to a test to see if you're a nice person does not seem very supportive!

  Hyper Fangirl : Okay, maybe the Fairy Godmother is a little better in the original.

  Nostalgia Critic : Did I mention she's a liar, too?

  [a clip of the newer movie is shown, where the fairy godmother tells Cinderella her glass slippers are comfortable] 

  Nostalgia Critic : I got glass sneakers because of her. THEY HURT!

  Hyper Fangirl : But the fact still remains that the supporting cast does more than support. They take over, they steal scenes that shouldn't have to be stolen by them. While there is still focus on Cinderella and the Stepmother, other important elements are being overlooked. And the new film keeps the focus where it should be: the main characters stay the main characters, and the supporting roles stay the supporting roles.

  Nostalgia Critic : [sighs]  I guess I can't really fault you on that. New gets the point.

  Hyper Fangirl : You forgot a heartless Prince joke.

  Nostalgia Critic : Shut up.