- Charlotte: If you didn't want the blade found, you shouldn't have left it in a hole in the ground!
- Lucifer Morningstar: A filled-in hole in the middle of nowhere, which no one would've possibly found if not for you.
- Charlotte: Yes. Well... there's that.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Besides, where else am I gonna hide it? Lux? You know how many people traipse through there each week?
- Charlotte: Well, I don't know. Your bedroom, then.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Worse.
- Lucifer Morningstar: And so there we were, the detective and I, standing in her kitchen, and... she made me... a sandwich.
- [Looks at the doctor]
- Lucifer Morningstar: I believe this is the part where you tell me it's much more than just a sandwich. For example... maybe it was a gesture of intimacy. You know, the slices of bread representing, perhaps, the detective's trust?
- [Thinks]
- Lucifer Morningstar: Or... was it a mistrustful sandwich? I... Doctor, please, what delicious message was she sending me?
- Linda Martin: What about Hitler?
- Lucifer Morningstar: The sandwich is Hitler?
- Ella Lopez: The whole point of a favor is to do it for free, okay? And then you just trust the love will come back to you somehow. Favors are about faith.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Ugh. Please don't ruin favors for me.
- Charlotte: I was getting bored with my mate and offspring, so I thought I'd dive into my employment. Not that hard once you read the law books.
- Lucifer Morningstar: What law books?
- Charlotte: Well, all of them.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Glad to see you're hard at work.
- Ella Lopez: You know, studies show that the brain does some of its best work when it's not trying. That's why great ideas come in the shower.
- Linda Martin: Things were much less complicated when I thought you were just another average delusional patient with a complicated family.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, I've never been average, Linda. Mentally, physically... And as you know... sexually.
- Linda Martin: Oh, my God. I had sex with the Devil.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Many, many times. And you're welcome.
- Ella Lopez: You need a favor?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Yes, your scientific expertise on a discreet matter.
- Ella Lopez: Mm. Paternity test?
- Lucifer Morningstar: What? Do I look like someone who'd be so irresponsible?
- Linda Martin: What about my Uncle Edwin? Is he down there? I mean, 'cause he was. you know, he was one bad mama jama.
- Ella Lopez: You need a favor?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Yes, your scientific expertise on a discreet matter.
- Ella Lopez: Paternity test?
- Lucifer Morningstar: What? Do I look like someone who'd be so irresponsible?
- Lucifer Morningstar: So, no sign of the murder weapon? Are you sure? Right. Nothing left for us to do here then, I suppose.
- Chloe Decker: Except for figuring out how six people were killed.
- Chloe Decker: Are Lucifer and Ella working on a case that I don't know about?
- Dan Espinoza: Mm. Why?
- Chloe Decker: No reason, they just seem to be spending a lot of time together.
- Dan Espinoza: Is someone jealous?
- Ella Lopez: Studies show that the brain does some of its best work when it's not trying. That's why great ideas come in the shower.
- Lucifer Morningstar: For me, it's usually women.
- Dan Espinoza: My entire life imploded because of you!
- Lucifer Morningstar: What?
- Dan Espinoza: My marriage!
- [Swings knife]
- Dan Espinoza: My job!
- [Swings again]
- Dan Espinoza: My snacks!
- Lucifer Morningstar: What?
- Dan Espinoza: I know you ate my pudding!
- Lucifer Morningstar: You're really going to smite me over a tub of sweetened goo?
- Linda Martin: The Angel of Death? Is he... uh, is he another one of your brothers?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Sister, actually.
- Linda Martin: The Angel of Death is a chick?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Yes, I sort of wish we were back to talking in metaphors.
- Linda Martin: That makes two of us.
- Jenson Glory: Carbs are the Devil's spawn, man.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Don't blame your weaknesses on me.
- Corrina Huff: Maddie was a friend. The person who introduced me to the Glory Way. God, I can't believe that she's dead.
- Chloe Decker: I'm sorry. The glory what?
- Lucifer Morningstar: The glory hole.
- Corrina Huff: The Glory *Way*.
- Linda Martin: Okay, can we go back to the Angel of Death? Is he... uh, is he another one of your brothers?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Sister, actually.
- Linda Martin: The Angel of Death is a chick?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Detective Douche... Daniel. Dan. Why don't you put down the knife, hmm? Bury the proverbial hatchet and all that? I mean, I know we've had our differences in the past, but we're friends now, right?
- Dan Espinoza: You ruined my marriage.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I'll take that as a no.