- Chief Wiggum: Hey, everyone, hey! I'm off-duty, so please don't feel weird doing drugs in front of me, or with me.
- Mr. Burns: I swear on the squid beak of Lord Cthulhu and all his briny shoggoths, I will get revenge on you, Jay G.
- Homer Simpson: [narrating] And so Mr. Burns beat on, fists against the hologram, punching back ceaselessly into his own face.
- Homer Simpson: And so I entered a world of wealth. Where mansions are called "cottages." And getting drunk on a boat is called "sailing."
- Homer Simpson: [narrating] I had betrayed Mr. Burns and felt sick about it. Searching for an open grave in which to barf, I heard a horrible sound which I was strangely drawn towards.