Bob Newhart: Self - Guest Host

Quotes 

• Bob Newhart : [on being one-quarter German]  I'm actually three-quarters Irish, which makes me a very meticulous drunk.

• Bob Newhart : I have seen shows, uh, where the monologue didn't go all that well, and... I felt a certain testiness crept into your...

  Johnny Carson : Right.

  Bob Newhart : Your attitude toward the rest of the evening. So I was kind of pulling for the monologue.

• Bob Newhart : Someone once said that more funny things are said at a cocktail party in Paris than in the entire year in Germany.

• Johnny Carson : What is the old story about the fellow who goes to Mars, and - who says the women were different, physically? Remember that joke?

  Bob Newhart : No.

  Johnny Carson : Says they were different - he says, "They look pretty much like women on Earth, except the bust - the breasts are on... on the back." And the fella says, "That's - that's re- that's really terrible." And he said, "Well, it's great for dancing."