- Adam: So explain 'riding the zero' to me.
- Christy: Well first you have to understand that I used to be really poor.
- Adam: Worse than now? Because you steal toilet paper from work.
- Christy: Anyway, one time my gas tank was on zero, but I had to get to my job, so I just drove it, and it lasted for eight days, like Hanukah.
- Adam: You know that's bad for the engine, right?
- Christy: You are such a man.
- Bonnie: [Christy's been in a car accident] Oh my God, what if she's got amnesia and forgot I'm her mother?
- Jill Kendall: Then there's a silver lining.
- Bonnie: This is insane! Why wasn't I her emergency contact? I'm her MOTHER.
- Nurse Patricia: Some people don't like their mothers.
- Jill Kendall: People make having kids seem so fulfilling.
- Christy: People? What people are you talking about?
- Jill Kendall: Facebook people, Instagram people.
- [nm=0727961]
- Christy: Well nobody's going to post a video of their kids finger painting with dog poop.
- Jill Kendall: [horrified] That happens?
- Christy: That's *most* of what happens.
- Jill Kendall: Then why do people do it?
- Christy: Well, this could just be the concussion talking, but because it's worth it. It's 60% hard work, 40% joy, your numbers may vary, but having kids just makes everything seem worthwhile.
- Jill Kendall: Okay, I have some concussion questions to ask you. WHAT-IS-YOUR-NAME?
- Christy: Christy Jolene Plunkett.
- Jill Kendall: Your middle name's Jolene?
- Christy: Yeah.
- Jill Kendall: So why do you go by Christy?
- Christy: Because Jolene is stupid.
- Jill Kendall: Oh, so apparently my dead grandmother's name is stupid. Next question, what is this place?
- Christy: Orlando!
- Adam: Hey, your mom said I could hang out here, is that okay?
- Christy: Hang out, hang yourself, I really don't care right now.
- Adam: Whoa! What's wrong?
- Christy: I'm sorry. My car broke down and I had to walk for 3 miles in these cheap polyester pants, my thighs about started a fire.
- Adam: You want me to take a look at your car?
- Christy: Well, actually it didn't so much break down, as I just ran out of gas.
- Bonnie: [Adam snorts then farts in his sleep] You realize whoever wins this gets him
- [Adam farts again]