Scenes from a Marriage (1974)

Liv Ullmann: Marianne

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Quotes 

• Marianne : Sometimes it grieves me that I've never loved anyone. I don't think I've ever been loved either. That distresses me.

  Johan : Now you're being dramatic.

  Marianne : Am I?

  Johan : I know what I feel. I love you in my selfish way. And I think you love me in your fussy, pestering way. We love each other in an earthly and imperfect way.

• Marianne : Our mistake was that we never broke free from our families to create something worthwhile on our own terms.

• Marianne : We weren't in love, but both of us were unhappy.

• Marianne : I know why Katarina and Peter go through hell. They don't speak the same language. They have to translate everything into a common language.

  Johan : I think it's simpler than that.

  Marianne : You and I understand each other. We speak the same language. That's what makes us click.

  Johan : I think it's the money.

• Johan : [at a dinner party with friends]  Listen to this: "Marianne's eyes are as blue as a folk song and are lit up form within. When I ask her how she copes with it all, she smiles in shy delight and replies that she and Johan both pitch in." Which happens to be true. "'We understand each other,' she replies, brightening as Johan sits down next to her on the heirloom sofa. Proactively, he puts his arm around her, eliciting a smile." Here comes the best bit. "As I take my leave, I notice how they secretly appreciate that fact so they can bask in each other's presence once more. Two souls who have matured together sharing a positive outlook, yet never forgetting to put love in the forefront."

  Marianne : We were mortified when we read it.

  Johan : I considered taking action, but our mothers adored the piece.

• Marianne : We were accepted as a couple and got married six months later.

  Johan : By that time we were in love.

  Marianne : Madly in love.

  Johan : People saw us as the perfect couple.

  Marianne : And it's been that way ever since.

• Fru Palm, Journalist : So, how would you describe yourselves in a few words?

  Johan : That's tricky.

  Fru Palm, Journalist : Is it?

  Johan : I might give you the wrong impression.

  Fru Palm, Journalist : You think so?

  Johan : It sounds cocky if I say I'm bright, youthful, successful and sexy. My mind has a global scope, I'm educated and I'm a great mixer. What else? I'm a good friend, even to those less fortunate than myself. I'm sporty, and I'm a good father and a good son. I don't have any debts, and I pay my taxes. I respect our government, no matter what. I love our royal family. I don't belong to the state church. Is that good, or do you want more details? I'm a fantastic lover. Isn't that right, Marianne?

  Fru Palm, Journalist : Maybe we should skip that question. Your turn, Marianne.

  Marianne : What can I say? I'm married to Johan and we have two daughters. I can't think of anything else.

  Fru Palm, Journalist : Sure you can.

  Marianne : I think Johan is very nice.

  Johan : How kind of you.

  Marianne : We've been married for ten years.

  Johan : Yes, I just renewed the contract.

  Marianne : I lack Johan's boundless self-assurance, but in all honesty, I'm happy I lead the life I do. It's a good life, if you know what I mean. What else should I say? This is difficult.

  Johan : She has a great figure.

• Marianne : You were right, but so was I. If you don't want to wear a tuxedo, that's your business. I agree. But if I think you should get a new tux, then I have the right to say so.

  Johan : I don't like tuxedos. I hate wearing a tuxedo. It's a ridiculous getup. I feel like a dressed-up chimpanzee.

  Marianne : Yes, you told me that. Let's not quarrel. I love you, even if you won't wear a tux. It's hardly essential to our marriage.

• Marianne : Don't I give you enough affection?

  Johan : Affection takes time.

  Marianne : Then you don't get enough.

  Johan : We don't get enough. Or give enough.

  Marianne : That's why I wanted us to go away this summer.

  Johan : Affection shouldn't be kept just for vacations.

  Marianne : You're nice - for a moron.

  Johan : It's lucky I'm married to you, then.

  Marianne : You have moments of greatness, interspersed with sheer mediocrity.

  Johan : I'm sure that's true.

• Marianne : Are you good together in bed?

  Johan : Yes, we are, actually. At first it was awful. I wasn't used to it. Being with other women, I mean. I guess you and I have spoiled each other. You and I have taken refuge in a hermetically sealed existence. Everything's been orderly, and it's all gone like clockwork. But the lack of oxygen has smothered us.

  Marianne : And now your little *Paula* will revive you?

• Marianne : Yesterday I was seized by a reckless gaiety. For the first time this year, I felt a zest for life, eager to know what the day might bring.

• Marianne : Suddenly I turned and looked at an old school picture from back when I was 10. I seemed to detect something that had eluded me up to then. To my surprise I must admit that I don't know who I am. I haven't the vaguest idea. I've always done as I was told. As far as I can remember I've been obedient, well-adjusted, almost meek. I did assert myself once or twice as a girl, but Mother punished any lapses from convention with exemplary severity. My entire upbringing and that of my sisters, was aimed at making us agreeable. I was ugly and awkward, a fact I was constantly reminded of. I later realized that if I kept my thoughts to myself, and was ingratiating and predictable, my behavior yielded rewards. The most momentous deception began at puberty. All my thoughts, feelings and actions revolved around sex. But this I never told my parents. Or anyone at all, for that matter. Being deceitful and secretive became second nature to me. My father wanted me to follow in his footsteps and become a lawyer. I dropped hints that I wanted to be an actress. You know what? I think I'm breaking free at last. But they laughed at me. Since then I go on pretending. Faking my relationships with others, with men. Always putting on an act in a desperate attempt to please. I've never considered what I want, but only, "What does he want me to want?" It's not unselfishness, as I used to believe. It's sheer cowardice. Even worse, it stems from my being ignorant of who I am.

• Marianne : I wanted to have sex with you today to see if I felt anything. All I felt was lukewarm affection. You know what? I think I'm breaking free at last. It's taken a long time and it's been very painful, but I'm free of you now to start my own life, and it feels absolutely wonderful.

  Johan : Allow me to congratulate you.

• Johan : When did you meet?

  Marianne : A few years ago. To be frank, it was a sexual affair.

  Johan : I see.

  Marianne : Henrik is very - how should I put this? Convincing in that respect. He really enjoys sex. And he made me realize that I felt the same way. I wasn't all that keen on it before.

  Johan : So I remember.

• Marianne : I persevere. I enjoy myself. I rely on common sense and my gut feeling. They work in tandem. I'm content with my direction. Time has given me a third partner: experience.

• Marianne : We hurt each other for no reason and the barbs are still there when we go to bed. It's like lying on a bed of nails. What are you laughing at?

  Johan : The bed of nails bit.

  Marianne : Go on and laugh, then.

  Johan : Let's go to bed.

• Johan : You suffer from devastatingly high standards. We've often joked and argued about it. But can't our poor sex life be spared your ambitions?

  Marianne : Why won't you cut me some slack? First you attack me for not trying and then for making the effort.

• Johan : Sometimes I wonder why we complicate this problem so awfully. Making love is pretty basic. It shouldn't be a huge, overshadowing issue. It's your mother's fault, if you ask me, though you don't like my saying so.

  Marianne : What a superficial analysis.

  Johan : Don't be a sourpuss. I'm being nice.

• Marianne : It's possible to talk too much about these things, you know.

• Marianne : Sex isn't everything, after all. If you're not satisfied, go find yourself a mistress who's more imaginative and exciting. I do my best, I assure you. There we have it.

  Johan : There we have it.

• Marianne : What's the matter? Are you upset? Has something happened? What's wrong? Tell me.

• Marianne : Why should we deny ourselves the good things in life? Why can't we be fat and cheerful? Remember Aunt Miriam and Uncle David? They were big, fat and cheerful. They slept in that creaky double bed of theirs, holding hands, content with each other, fat and happy. Why can't we be like them? Brimming with contentment?

• Johan : Here are two pictures of her. That one was taken two years ago, when she was on vacation. The passport picture was taken two weeks ago. It's a good likeness.

  Marianne : She has a lovely figure. And lovely breasts. Right?

  Johan : Yes, she has lovely breasts.

  Marianne : Does she dye her hair?

  Johan : It's possible.

  Marianne : What a nice smile. How old is she?

  Johan : Twenty-three

• Marianne : I wonder what I did to cause the breach between us. I know it's a childish way of thinking, but there you are. What did I do wrong?

  Johan : Why not ask a psychiatrist?

  Marianne : I see one several times a week. Sometimes we meet in private.

  Johan : Is he your lover?

  Marianne : We did have sex a few times, but it was no good. So we stopped that and devoted ourselves to my soul instead.

  Johan : What have you learned?

  Marianne : Nothing.

• Johan : What do you think?

  Marianne : I'm not sure what I think.

• Marianne : Give me a kiss. I want you to.

  Johan : [kiss]  Was it what you expected?

  Marianne : Much better. Now put your hand on my breast.

  Johan : Are you seducing me?

  Marianne : That's right. Right here on the carpet, right now. Doesn't that sound like fun?

• Marianne : Come lie on top of me. Mmm. People should make love on the floor more often. Johan, lock the door.

  Johan : No one will walk in on us.

  Marianne : You never know. I'm kind of a prude. Lock the door.

• Marianne : I've taken your feelings into account far too often. Being considerate killed our love.

• Marianne : Kiss me. I enjoy being kissed by you. Close your eyes or I'll feel self-conscious. Now put your hands on my hips. Good. That's nice. What if the watchman walked in now? He could join us. We're liberated. Let's stay here all night - and just drink and make love.

• Marianne : Tell me, why do I enjoy sex now? I do everything he asks.

• Marianne : Is it wise to take your slacks off with a cold like that?

  Johan : You can keep me warm.

  Marianne : So you don't freeze your thing off.

• Marianne : You're completely out of your mind! Am I supposed to be a doormat? Am I a substitute for your mother?

• Johan : Do you really think I care about your orgasms with that workaholic? I applaud your emancipation. Most impressive. You should write a novel. The Women's Lib movement would rejoice.

  Marianne : I hope you're not as stupid as you sound.

• Johan : Promise me: no more intimate truths tonight.

  Marianne : I promise.

  Johan : Promise me you won't mention that orgasmic athlete again.

  Marianne : Not a word.

  Johan : Promise to rein in your awful levelheadedness.

  Marianne : That will be difficult, but I'll try.

  Johan : Could you possibly - I say possibly - use your boundless feminine powers sparingly?

  Marianne : I see that I'll have to.

  Johan : All right, then. Let's go to bed.

• Marianne : The second I entered the theater, I saw you sitting there all alone. You looked so lonely. It seemed natural to pounce on you.

  Johan : I was terribly pleased.

  Marianne : So was I.

  Johan : You said, "Let's go."

  Marianne : And you blushed.

  Johan : No wonder. I had such a hard-on.

  Marianne : You got me pretty hot too.

• Marianne : I was obsessed by this new sensation. I felt insatiable.