Book Club (I) (2018)
Mary Steenburgen: Carol
Photos
Quotes
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Carol : So basically, I'm screwed. Or not screwed, as it were.
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[Sharon enters the house]
Sharon : My son is engaged and my husband is in Maui with a tartlet named Cheryl.
Diane : Oh.
Sharon : I need a drink.
Carol : Your 'husband'?
Diane : You can't possibly still care about what Tom is doing.
Sharon : I don't care. But the guy gets seasick in a swimming pool. I mean, what the hell is he doing in Maui?
Vivian : Sounds like he's doing Cheryl in Maui.
Sharon : Oh, please. Who gets involved in a relationship at 67? I mean, what is the point?
Vivian : Oh, the point is to get laid. It's always the point.
Sharon : Don't make me sick.
Carol : Who still says, 'get laid'?
Diane : Who still has any interest?
Vivian : Ah, no, no, no, no, no. I am not gonna let us become those people.
Diane : What people are you talking about?
Vivian : You know what people. The people who stop living before they stop living.
Sharon : I haven't had sex since my divorce, and it's been the happiest 18 years of my life.
Vivian : What? That must be some kind of... record. I mean, what even happens to a vagina after 18 years?
Diane : You know, I think Werner Herzog did a documentary on that.
Carol : Yeah. It's called The Cave of Forgotten Dreams.
[Vivian, Diane, and Carol laugh]
Sharon : Okay, will you stop it? Moving on. Let's talk about the book.
Vivian : Oh, God. The hiking book? Really?
Carol : Come on. I liked it! It's such a remarkable undertaking. Can you imagine?
Sharon : No, I cannot. I don't even like walking to my mailbox.
Carol : It's just an amazing story. I mean, so many layers. I wouldn't even know how to break it down.
Vivian : Well, I'll break it down for you. She hikes, she lost her boot, she did heroin.
Diane : Did you only read the back cover?
Vivian : [gulping her wine] I wish. I kept wanting to shout at her, 'Oh, wait ten years, honey. Dry shampoo is coming.'
Sharon : You know, if you would ever connect with something on a more emotional level...
Vivian : Emotional connection is highly overrated.
Carol : You have not had an emotional connection for 40 years.
Sharon : Wow, that must be some type of record.
Diane : Yeah, but what happens to emotions after 40 years?
Vivian : Okay, okay, are you guys having fun? Really?
Diane : Oh, come on. You know we love you.
Carol : Maybe it's time you did take a hike and try to reconnect with your own true self.
Sharon : I'll buy you a backpack.
Vivian : I'll tell you how to reconnect with your own true self...
[gets up]
Vivian : and it ain't by walking alone in the desert.
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Vivian : [grabs copies of Fifty Shades of Grey from bag] I would like to introduce you to Christian Grey.
Diane : Oh...
Sharon : Oh, no.
Vivian : [passes books to the other ladies] Why? It was a bestseller made into a movie.
Carol : Oh, and that is our theme this year.
Diane : Oh, wow.
Sharon : We are not reading this.
Vivian : It's my month! When it's your month, you can choose whatever boring, depressing book you want.
Sharon : I'm not sure this qualifies as a book.
Vivian : Well, 50 million people can't be wrong.
Sharon : To... to even be holding this book is embarrassing.
Vivian : Who's judging you? Your cat?
Carol : I do like the idea of a romance.
Sharon : We are too old.
Carol : But it does say right here 'for mature audiences'.
Diane : Yeah, that certainly sounds like us.
Sharon : We started this book club to stimulate our minds.
Vivian : Well, from what I hear, this book is quite stimulating.
Diane : Oh, God.
Vivian : [grabs her wine glass and gets up] So... come on! Let's toast to our new book.
Carol : All right.
[the ladies get up to toast]
Vivian : Drink up. Hoist that glass. Happy reading, ladies.
