Young Sheldon (TV Series)

Poker, Faith and Eggs (2017)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Quotes 

• Pastor Jeff : Sometimes people say to me, "Pastor Jeff, how do you know there's a God?" And I say "It's simple math. God either exists or he doesn't." So let's be cynical. Worst-case scenario, there's a 50-50 chance, And I like those odds.

  Sheldon : [raising his hand]  That's wrong.

  Mary : [sotto voce]  Shelly, put your hand down.

  [to Pastor Jeff] 

  Mary : Sorry, Please continue.

  Pastor Jeff : That's okay, Mary. It's Sheldon, right?

  Sheldon : Yes, sir.

  Pastor Jeff : Well, Sheldon, why don't you come on up here and tell me why I'm wrong.

  Mary : No!

  Sheldon : Okay.

  [heads on up] 

  Pastor Jeff : Let's give him a hand, everybody.

  Missy : [waking up]  What's happening?

  Meemaw : [to Mary]  Shelly's gonna eat him alive.

  Pastor Jeff : So, you were saying?

  Sheldon : You've confused possibilities with probabilities. According to your analogy, when I go home I might find a million dollars on my bed or I might not. In what universe is that 50-50?

  Pastor Jeff : So, what do you think the odds are that God exists?

  Sheldon : I think they're zero. I believe in science.

  Pastor Jeff : So you don't think science and God can go hand in hand?

  Sheldon : Science is facts, religion is faith. I prefer facts

  Pastor Jeff : Mm. I understand that. Here's a cool fact for ya. A lot of famous scientists believed in God. Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, even Charles Darwin.

  Sheldon : So Darwin's right about God and wrong about evolution?

  Pastor Jeff : Now you're gettin' it. Let's give it up for Sheldon, everybody! What a good sport.

  Sheldon : [v.o]  But I wasn't a good sport. At that moment, I vowed to come back the following Sunday and destroy Pastor Jeff.

• Sheldon : [Narrating over his brother's attempt to drive Meemaw's Cadillac to the hospital]  I've often been asked why I never learned to drive a car. This night is your answer.