- [Mary is looking through one of Sheldon's "Dungeons & Dragons" books]
- Mary: I'm worried. There are incantations in the book to summon actual demons!
- George Sr.: [Turning to his mother-in-law, Meemaw] Is that how we wound up with you?
- Meemaw: That's a good one. I'm gonna give you that.
- [Sheldon is being escorted from Sunday School, after he proclaims to be starting a new religion - Mathology - and is trying to recruit members]
- Sheldon: The only sin in Mathology is being stupid.
- [Mr. Sparks is trying to decide which of his chickens is going to be dinner]
- Herschel Sparks: Now, which of you is tired of this life?... You.
- [Sheldon is holding his first Mathology sermon in his garage]
- Sheldon: Welcome to the Church of Mathology. Today I'd like to talk about prime numbers, and why they bring us joy.
- Billy Sparks: Hallelujah!
- Mary: Listen, are you aware that Tam and Sheldon are playing Dungeons & Dragons?
- Le Nguyen: Dungeons & Dragons?
- Mary: Yes, and it's filled with demons and Satanic images
- Le Nguyen: [in Vietnamese] Please talk to the white woman. I'm very busy.
- Trang Nguyen: [in Vietnamese] But I've got customers.
- Le Nguyen: [in Vietnamese] Please. I ask you for so little.
- Trang Nguyen: [in Vietnamese] And you give me so little.
- Le Nguyen: So what is the problem with this game?
- Mary: The problem is it goes against the teachings of the church.
- Le Nguyen: All right, listen to me: a problem is starving to death in a Communist reeducation camp. A problem is not seeing your family for many years while you remove land mines from the Ho Chi Minh Trail. A game boys play with make-believe demons? Not a problem.
- Mary: Well, I think they can all be problems.