Roseanne (TV Series)

Darlene v. David (2018)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dan Conner : There is no reason to ever leave your family. You may think about it, you may dream about it, you may gas up your bike and make sandwiches, but you don't ever do it.

  Roseanne Conner : So that's what you did that day! I knew there was no drywall convention.

  Dan Conner : I've said too much.

• Roseanne Conner : [Harris smashes a bunch of cakes]  I'll pay for those. Hit it, Mary.

  Mary Conner : Beep!

• Roseanne Conner : Mom, how'd you get kicked out of a retirement home? Did they find out you're never going to die?

• Roseanne Conner : [to Darlene before a cake eating contest]  If I go into diabetic shock I want you to get my insulin pin and, really quick, and point me back in the direction of my cake.

• Mary Conner : [Roseanne's doing self checkout]  Beep!

  Darlene Conner : Mom, that didn't scan. Oh my God, you're stealing.

  Roseanne Conner : No I'm not, I'm a checker at this store and my first pay is in bacon.