Happiest Season (2020)

Mary Steenburgen: Tipper

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Quotes 

• Tipper : We have been so worried about seeming perfect, but maybe we don't even know what perfect is. We have one daughter who has been unhappy in a marriage and felt like she couldn't tell us! And another daughter who just had her heart broken because she was afraid we wouldn't love her if she told us the truth. And the only reason that Jane is okay is because we gave up on her after she wouldn't stop biting in preschool. That is very far from perfect, if you ask me.

• Abby : How are you here?

  John : When are you going to get this? I have been tracking you.

  Tipper : Hello?

  John : Hi!

  Tipper : I'm Tipper, this is my home. Are you the ex-boyfriend?

  John : Yes, I am John. Abby's heterosexual ex-boyfriend and I have come to get her back.

  Tipper : I see. Well, it would have been nice to have known you were coming, but since you are here... enjoy!

  John : Thank you so much!

  [Tipper exits] 

  John : Okay, I nailed that and she is fabulous.

  Abby : What are you doing?

  John : That phone call earlier was a cry for help. I'm here to rescue you. Please get your things.

• Tipper : Abby, what are you doing in the closet?

  Abby : Oh, I must have been sleepwalking!

  Tipper : Oh, that can be very dangerous. I once took too many Ambien and I bought a racehorse online.

• Tipper : Harper, did you see that the Bennett's are here?

  Harper : Yeah, we just ran into Riley.

  Ted : Did you hear that she's doing her residency at Johns Hopkins?

  Jane : I should have her look at my mole.

  Harper : No, I hadn't heard that.

  Ted : It's very impressive! Her parents must be proud. And relieved.

  Tipper : I know. That lifestyle choice.

  Ted : Such a shame.

• Tipper : What is going on!

  Sloane : Yeah, what is going on? Harper, do you want to tell them, or should I?

  Harper : Don't, Sloane!

  Sloane : Why? It's not good timing?

  Tipper : Girls, stop that this instant!

  Jane : Come one, guys. Just hug it out.

  Harper , Sloane : Shut up, Jane!

  Harper : Don't do this, Sloane!

  Sloane : All this because you're scared to not be the favorite. Pathetic!

  Ted : Sloane, you're making a scene!

  Sloane : I am? You think she's so innocent? All of this is happening because Harper is... Harper is a lesbian! Abby's her girlfriend.

  Harper : She is lying! I am not a lesbian!

  [party goes silent as Abby leaves] 

• Tipper : I'm sorry about all this mess.

  Abby : What? No, this is so nice.

  Tipper : Better than your room at the orphanage?

  Abby : Oh, I wasn't in an orphanage, because I was 19 when my parents died.

  Tipper : Oh. One of the lucky ones.

• Harper : Mom, what are you doing?

  Tipper : I started an Instagram feed for your father to give voters a peek behind the curtain. Your mother's going viral!

• Tipper : Do you have a boyfriend, Abby?

  Abby : No. But I have! Because... I have had many. But not too many. An appropriate amount. I actually just went through a breakup.

  Jane : Oh no!

  Tipper : Aw, Abby.

  Abby : Yeah, with, um, he was a... he was a milk man.

  Harper : Okay! And I think we'll just settle in now.

  Tipper : Okay, we we'll just show Abby to her room.

  Harper : What, is she not gonna stay up here with me?

  Tipper : Harper, I would never ask two grown women to share the same bed! No, Abby will stay in Jane's old room.

  Jane : Oh! Oh, I could show it to her!

  Tipper : Settle down.

  Jane : I'm settled!

• Tipper : Kids, what are you doing back there?

  Magnus : Playing hide-and-seek like Abby and Aunt Harper.