- Jethro: I fucked her. I fucked her in an abandoned factory, to be precise. But I lost my erection. Because from certain angles, she reminded me of Michael Heseltine. Michael Heseltine, if you're wondering, is a British politician from the 1980s.
- Ronald Plum: I'm kinda breaking the fourth wall here, but I have this theory: bad guys have eyes that look like raisins. Small and dark, you know?
- Brian: You ever picked a lock before?
- Norval Greenwood: Once, in school.
- Brian: What happened?
- Norval Greenwood: I didn't get it unlocked. But I found the key in my bag, so it was okay.
- Gordon: Just so you know, if you want to impress me, I like fight stories. Ever been in a fight?
- Norval Greenwood: No.
- Gordon: I have. I once accidentally kicked a guy's ear off. I didn't mean to, but the fucker flew off. I could see right into his skull. Good night.
- Norval Greenwood: I'm not someone you can pigeonhole, if I'm completely honest. Do I produce blazing beats? Yes. Do I tinkle the ivories? Yes. Do I promote high-profile events pertaining to music and the performance of music? Yes.
- Gordon: [drops Norval's phone off the balcony into the water] I should never've had that second beer after breakfast!
- Norval Greenwood: There are only 20 of those phones in the world!
- Gordon: Whelp, now there's 19.
- [first lines]
- Norval Greenwood: Dad, it's me, Norval. Uh, I got your letter? Your letter asking me to come and see you? Well. here I am. It's me, Norval.
- Gordon: [suddenly lunges at him and hugs him] Jesus Christ! I never thought I'd see you again.
- Title Card: The sins of the father are to laid upon the children. -William Shakespeare
- Title Card: There is no one else like my daddy. -Beyoncé