Reviews

This is teeth-numbingly, mind-bendingly, I'd-rather-do-a-gym-workout while sitting-on-a-cheese-grater-all-day than-continue-watching-this-after-20-minutes bad. Don't get me wrong - I LIKE bad TV... But this is only about the 5th show, of I'll-guess-at-40,000 TV shows I've seen in my lifetime, that I've HAD TO turn off mid-way through, it's THAT awful. There's no acting, no storyline, no character development - just knee-jerk reactions of the cast to the script, apparently written on the back of an envelope while the writer was watching all the other meteor movies he could rent for ideas, squeezed into a half-price video store rental weekend. A BIG, BIG waste of time.

"Disastrous." ...and that's being kind. 'Nitecap' offers up a mix of party-time, interviews, infomercials and the self-indulgence that host Robin Leach found through his 'Lifestyles Of The Rich & Famous' series (a show I actually enjoyed!).

'Nitecap' is an attempt to capture the free-wheeling attitudes of Hugh Hefner's 'Playboy's Penthouse' (1959 - see http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052503/ ), but without the feeling of pizazz, or the wow factor, that came with it.

'Nitecap' drags along in a sloppy, disconnected way, with Leach and co-host Rae Dawn Chong stumbling through the little scripted material provided (ad-libbing was apparently thought of as a good idea).

Intertwined with actual content is infomercial advertising by the hosts - perhaps it was thought of as an alternative to paid advertisements between segments as in a traditional TV show, thus allowing the actual 'show' to stretch to 50 minutes (in the premier episode), more than the normal 44-46 minutes. As in any late-night party, drinks flowed freely in the background, and it's pretty clear that the hosts were taking part when the camera wasn't on them. Either that, or they were up too late & should have gone to bed earlier.

I can't find any other information on the series on the 'net, and TV.com only refers to the premier episode, so I suspect it was a failure from the first few minutes, and show #2 never got on air, although it was supposed to be a nightly program. Good night, and sleep well...

Three words: Are You Kidding?

By far... by FAR... the worst TV movie of the new millenium - no, strike that - this decade AND the 90s!!

I won't even mention the technically incorrect aspects of the earthquake effects - this post can't handle that much text...

The models were rotten, the backdrops poorly-made, and the debris effects could have been rejected by a college student film class!

Acting? What acting?

Photography? OK, who's been watching the "24" marathon? It works for an hour at a time, but not 4...

And, my god!!! How could a director POSSIBLY be satisfied with... with... with ANYTHING in this thing?

No preview, no introduction, no outline, just a bicyclist & wham!!!??? No drama here, folks... nothing to whet an appetite, or to make us hungry for more - it just made us sick to our stomachs... and it continued for 2 hours last night... and took me less than 30 seconds tonight to make me write this...

Has losing "Friends" made all the good workers jump ship?

Bad effort, guys - and nothing that happens tonight can make it better... Absolutely dreadful...

'Let's Make A Deal' of Monty Hall fame was fun to watch, as it was a new game show concept at the time (random contestants & pure luck making the winners), allowing us to study human nature at its finest (or worst?). The new show is updated to suit modern times (mostly higher-priced prizes), but the 'edge' is gone. Monty Hall had charisma, and despite his surrounding players, a sense of dignity. Billy Bush, the new host, stands there like a wet rag on a stick. Seemingly bored, and definitely UNexcited, he gives the viewer the sense that he'd rather be anywhere but there, or that he lost a bet with the other game show hosts, so he got stuck with this gig. The jazz, the glitz, the overall FUN of the original seems lacking here. The only thing saving the show is the extent to which people will dress up to take a wild chance at being one of the 20 or so chosen out of a studio audience of hundreds, to MAYBE win something.

Great animation with great characters add up to a winner here. No belly laughs for me - just the odd chuckle, but anyone under 12 will enjoy it immensely. John Goodman and Billy Crystal do a great job as the main, ummm... actors in the movie, about a parallel dimension of monsters whose electricity comes from kids' screams. While they pop out of the closet & scare the kids, a device collects the energy from the screams & powers the city. Unfortunately, one of the master scarers is thinking he can do better with new technology. As a kid is accidently brought back to the monsters' side of the closet door, havoc ensues as the good monsters try to return her. The 'acting' is good, the plot is simple, but solid, and it was quite enjoyable.

Rob Schneider. Dumb idea. You figure it out. In fact, I found it to be a little easier to swallow than I'd expected.

In brief, Schneider, a would-be cop, gets in a car accident (one of the funnier ones I've seen!) & gets rescued by a mad doctor. Unbeknownst to Schneider, he gets animal transplants to save his life and is released back into society, unaware of his new body organs. Certain abilities (smell, hearing, etc.) make themselves known, and with these, he is able to get on the police force. The doctor shows up to stop him from becoming a supercop, as his research might be exposed. But Schneider is now getting (some) respect from his colleagues, finds a girl, and doesn't want to live the rest of his live in the doctor's animal world.

Aside from a couple of 'off-colour' scenes - Schneider trying to hump a mailbox, Schneider trying to hump a goat, Schneider humping himself in the restroom... - there was a legitimate script and decent production in this.

Add a few typical comic elements - the crazy old cop captain (Ed Asner), and the psychotic, power-tripping sergeant (John C. McGinley) - both of whom played their roles well, instead of over-the-top as most of these comedies require - and a love interest, played by Colleen Haskell, the all-American cutie from the 1st U.S. 'Survivor' series - and it was actually an entertaining hour & a quarter.

Schneider sneaks in a couple of personal perks, as writer & star of the film - Norm MacDonald & Adam Sandler have cameos as townsfolk in the mob out to get him, and his real-life mother plays his neighbour.

I had heard that this was a 'nice movie' - but it's simply an opportunity for Cameron Diaz & Christina Applegate to shake their booties (something Diaz has done all too much of in her last few films), usually in their underwear, and often emulating sexual acts in public, both straight & lesbian. The restaurant musical scene, "You're too big to fit in here" (about penis size) is beyond tacky - it's stupid, pointless, meaningless, dumb, moronic & more... it's less than its attempted homage to Meg Ryan's scene in "When Harry Met Sally", and instead a less-than-useless 5 minutes' waste of film. The 2 clumber around the screen, their 3rd friend popping in & out of the plot, with the characters playing high-school games throughout - a sort-of "Sex And The City" ripoff. One of Diaz's lines - "I'm such an idiot" - must have stemmed from her realization of what she's doing with here career - wasting 2 hours of her fans' lives, with no redeeming value to it - not even a good laugh. Okay, so she got a paycheque - but when the rushes were shown, they should have recalled the cheque...

Shameful... that's what this film is... shameful... **I am not going to DETAIL any part of the film, but will OVERVIEW certain aspects of it - if you want a general good ol' action film, don't read this - go see it - but if you're a die-hard Bondite, you may want to read before putting your cash on the counter...

James Bond of the past had style, grace, wit, dignity and a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that we all wish we had. He was a sportsman, a gentleman, an athlete, a scholar, and a terribly nice guy once you got to know him.

I don't dislike Pierce Brosnan - to the contrary, he was perhaps the BEST part of this film. I missed the quick-witted comments, the snappy comebacks, and the debonairishness of previous Bonds and films, as he seemed in this one to just plod along, reading the script off cue cards.

But the other actors simply followed his plodding - there was nothing new, exciting, or even half-interesting to keep me going beyond the opening action scene (admittedly, one of the best, blow-'em-up scenes in recent Bond films, and for a change, it acutally set up some characters for the film, rather than just giving an overview of the political scene Bond will undoubtedly get himself stuck in).

The action scenes, while bigger & faster & with more horsepower & larger calibres, were very much computer generated (yet, considerably less realistic than all previous films). The technology used here is not quite up to the bar. Even the model sets looked like they came out of the window of your local hobby shop.

I'd like to know what happened to the budget of this one - cause it wasn't used as planned...

As far as shoot-em-up films go, no problem... as for Bond films, this was NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!! It drifted from the formula we all love, and for the 20th movie, I noticed only 2 quick references to the series - Q makes a comment about his watch & Bond picks up a book in Cuba... those who get the points, can smile to themselves... (like I said, I won't go into details here!)

For the good guys, Halle Berry plays (very well, actually) a tough little spitfire (whose entrance pays homage to Ursula Andress in Dr. No), Judy Dench's M is a dried up crony, and Cleese's Q has little to do this time. Samantha Bond's Moneypenny doesn't get any play from James this time (except in her own mind...)

For the bad guys, Toby Stephens & Will Yun Lee play the principle villain (oops, have I said too much?) as somewhat psychotic - but not nearly as psychotic as the evil genius who want to do what this one wants to do (again, no details here!). So he's not as bad as he should be... Rick Yune plays the heavy - not badly, but not well... Rosamund Pike plays the enthusiastic young MI6 agent, but as her character's name is Miranda Frost, turns in a cold performance without any facial expressions whatsoever - quite unattractive in such a pretty face...

Madonna, whose title song sounds like it was mixed from a bunch of samples of stray alley cats mating in the dark (although the music behind the song is kinda catchy), puts in an appearance - maybe she's the Jinx (not Halle's character name!) of the film - Madonna's efforts at the big screen have always flopped.

And the gadgets? Up to this point, all the gadgets have had a basis in reality & been on the edge of technological (or at least hypothetical) fact. It's not likely you'll find a laser watch even at Sharper Image for Christmas, but it's technologically possible... but this time, come on - an invisible Aston Martin???

For a Bond film, it was a disappointment - for the 20th, it was a real letdown.

Wait for the VHS...

...but not to the east side, "Jeffersons"-style. Rather, a study of the mind sets of the various social classes in London. The film might be simply described as 'a day in the life of London' as several people move houses, each to a more upscale neighbourhood, each to the house of the next one in the film. A 'nice little movie' is an apt description - there are no car chases, no action heroes, no blonde bombshells, just a study of what makes people tick. I grew up in Canada, but lived in London at age 20, and am somewhat familiar with the areas in question, and can't help but smile to myself as I watch this film. The philosophical musings of the moving crew boss can be a little confusing, particularly with his heavy accent, but all-in-all, it's a simple set of sub-stories to follow, each with its own particular flavour. A must-see for the film festival crowd, similar movies would be the West German-made "Aria" and the internationally directed "Night On Earth".

"Night On Earth" is a (non)classic character study. It looks at brief moments in the lives of 5 taxis around the world, working the night shift, and of one fare apiece. Some will say it's boring, some will say it goes nowhere, some will say it has no story, or plot. I'm not an art critic, a philosopher, or academic. But I like this film - it's not pretentious, it doesn't try to impress the viewer with a particular style of moviemaking... it's a bit 'dark', but then again... it's night! Good casting compliments 'nice' short stories... Although the film ends on a sad note, I've watched it several times. OTHER RECOMMENDATIONS: "Aria" (http://us.imdb.com/Details?0092580), "Wings of Desire" (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0093191).

Who drew the short straw & was forced to produce this thing? This is one of the worst pieces of trash I've ever seen. So bad, in fact, it has provoked my first review of a TV show on IMDB. I have taped hundreds of first episodes, and unfortunately (or, it might turn out, fortunately) I missed the premier of this one. I'm watching the 2nd episode as I write this, and I don't even need to see the rest - it hits the bottom of the barrel, and then some. Bad editing, poor production, awful effects, a lousy script, a pitiful story, rotten characters... all add up to a big fat "power off" push on the remote. It's no wonder they took 3 years to release it - "Attention all units - robbery in progress at Angel City Bank. Suspect has identified herself as Hurricane. Don't forget to wear your raincoats." I can't even call it campy, because 'campy' suggests a slightly humourous vein, rather than a ridiculously stupid one. I kind of like Soupy Sales & Playboy's Shae Marks in their bits in this episode, but since those few seconds is the only redeeming feature of this hour-long show, it ain't sayin' much...