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SAChiasson
Reviews
The Last House on the Left (2009)
This is a truly evil film, in more ways than I can describe
A long time ago, when I was a mere lad, I made the mistake of watching the original "The Last House on the Left." God knows where my parents were at the time, for had they been there, they surely would've turned off the TV, for this was a movie which disturbed me for quite some time.
The violence in the movie didn't bother me too much. I'm of the generation who understands that when Jason hacks up the idiotic college-aged kids at Crystal Lake (most of whom, if female, for some reason were always naked and taking a shower), I viscerally understood that it was what I term "Schlock Shock."
To wit, the blood was just corn syrup and red dye, the naked girl in the shower was just a one-shot wanna-be actress who blew the casting director for her 15 minutes of fame, and that even though Jason came back countless times in the sequels, he was just a mythological Bogeyman, right?
But the rape scene in "The Last House on the Left" deeply disturbed me.
The callous disregard for the intimacy of sex, and how the violation of this intimacy was so brutally and vividly made horror, shocked my prepubescent mind. Perhaps the only good that came of out this experience, was that as I grew from Boy to Man, I developed a hatred from those of my gender who would - for any reason - abuse a girl.
Fast forward 25 years.
In looking through movies to download I came across the 2009 version of this movie and decided to watch it. Mostly, I think, because I was stupidly curious to see if now (as a Man) it would affect me as deeply as did the original (as a Boy).
The answer, simply put, is yes. This is a horrible, evil movie.
I'm much older now, and sadly far more jaded and accustomed to the evils of this world, but the rape scene (which is pivotal for the plot) is possibly even more graphic and horrific than the original.
As a fan of cinema, I can appreciate the cinematography (which was executed nicely), I liked the location of the shoot (the Helderberg Natural Reserve in So. Africa), and I even chuckled over the stilted acting of a cast of C-list actors for the mere purpose of asking myself "Jeez... do ya'll really need the $20K they're paying you for this bullshit?"
But...
The pivotal point of the movie - and what "drives the motivation of the characters," as they say - is the rape of the virginal daughter, afterwhich she's shot in the back and left to die, trying to run away.
Everything that happens thereafter is just basic "Schlock-Shock" nonsense. (Mommy and Daddy find out that the strangers at their door killed/raped their daughter, they enact their revenge in gruesome ways, blah, blah, blah.) The thing is, and the reason why I strongly urge you NOT to watch this movie, is that the rape-scene, as horrible and ugly as it is, has no redeeming value. Schindler's List, for instance, is a tough movie to watch, and Lord knows it's portrayal of evil is heart-wrenchingly vivid, but at the end of that movie you walk away with a sense of what is Right and what is Wrong, no? Moreover, you're given an idea of how to fight the Evil.
"Last House" is essentially a snuff-flick, with no redeeming virtue in it's portrayal of Evil. Dante should've added a special circle of Hell reserved for actors, directors and writers who produce such dreck, and if you're such a twisted bastard who gets off on this kind of sickness, I suggest you rent something like "Faces of Death" and masturbate to it ere going to damnation.
(Note for Parents: The ONLY possible reason to watch this movie, is to show your daughters the first 20 minutes. Tell your child that just because she's 18 and thinks she's an adult, she's still very much a child. This world is a scary place, at times, and sadly there are very few men whom are worthy of being trusted.)
Write back if you agreed or disagreed with this Review. I look forward to your comments.
Scott A. Chiasson (sachiasson@yahoo.com)
Behind Enemy Lines (1997)
What an incredibly insipid movie
My friends, this is an incredibly insipid movie. How many Vietnam-era flicks are gonna be produced before someone eventually decides "enough is enough"? Ignoring such films as "Platoon" or "Apocalypse Now" or "The Deer Hunter" (truly splendid examples of cinema within the genre) and also ignoring the first "Rambo" film (a movie I embarrasingly admit to having enjoyed), I have this suspicion that some shady, weasel-like producer in sunny So. California thought to himself "Hey! I know how to make a quick buck! I'll screw a few investors outta a couple hundred grand and I'll make a, uhh... yeah! I'll make a 'Nam flick!"
Phuuleeze! Give it a rest, willya? The only people who would possibly find this movie worth watching are pre-pubescent little boys living in Idaho.