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chrisw-3
Reviews
Flossie (1974)
Other review incorrect
Sol says: The beautiful Maria Lynn/Marie Forsa is similarly well-cast as Mac Ahlberg's FLOSSIE, a film that only flirts with hardcore -perhaps its main defect.
Not actually true. The film features plenty of hardcore footage of fellatio and intercourse. The film only lacks the current obsession with male ejaculation.
The film is beautifully lit and filmed, and the lead actress is adorable. I'd describe it as an excellent "couples movie", unlike the vast majority of the current product. It is explicit, without being gynecological.
WKRP in Cincinnati: A XXX Parody (2009)
Better than porn parodies of the past
A surprisingly solid parody of the classic sitcom. The studio actually went to considerable trouble to duplicate the original sets, costumes and hairstyles of the original series, and most of the actors were game to try to capture the work of the original actors they were parodying. Evan Stone as Doctor Johnny Fever was a particular stand-out.
If I have one problem, it's that there are too few sex scenes that last too long. The Johnny Fever scene with the two "Supertramp" fans (clever idea) seems to go on forever. The pairings seemed very arbitrary as well, putting characters together who never displayed any attraction to each other in the original series. There was enough sexual tension in the original to exploit without needing to invent attractions that weren't there.
They also missed a great opportunity to bring in a "Golden Age" performer as "Mother Carlson". Nina Hartley, or possibly even Juliet "Aunt Peg" Anderson could have done an excellent job with a great character.
Echelon Conspiracy (2009)
Enjoyable, but so, oh so brainless
The most useful article I ever read in the late, lamented Premiere magazine was one about how to read a movie poster's credit. An ampersand between two writer's names means they were a team. An "and" means a re-write. One of the two credited writers (and, as usual in movies, there may be more writers involved) must have been the one to dump a whole bucket of stupid over this script. Otherwise, the original writer must have decided to write on a subject about which he knew nothing.
For instance, the main character, Max, is supposed to be some highly skilled computer security expert. OK. So why, exactly, is his security system apparently limited to a user name and password? An 8 character one at that? Any 13 year old code kiddie out there could download an application to crack any 8 character password in minutes. This nonsense would have been acceptable back in the days of "War Games" when few viewers would have access to a computer, but virtually every viewer of this film has a computer - and a password. Would it have killed the director to not be quite so blatantly disrespectful to the audience? Another thing (not a spoiler if it happens in the first five minutes of the film) is that he short circuits a wall socket with a metal belt buckle. I'm pretty sure every person who has used electricity is aware that there are such things as circuit breakers - or at least fuses - that will blow without taking out an entire data center.
Both of these stupid things happen in the first five minutes. It doesn't exactly get a whole lot smarter as the film goes on.
U Me Aur Hum (2008)
Not a good choice for English-only speakers
I enjoyed half this film...then I went next door and watched "Krazzy 4". I'm a Caucasian American who enjoys Bollywood movies, which normally have excellent subtitles. This one had very good subtitles as well - very clear, white subtitles with a black drop-shadow. All the songs were subtitled as well - in Hindi! Sometimes you don't need to read the lyrics to know what the song is about, sometimes they don't convey important plot details. But I had no way of knowing, as they songs were subtitled and sung in a language I don't understand! I wouldn't have reason to complain if I were watching this film in a theater in Mumbai, but this was a print with English titles made for export playing in a theater in Kansas City, MO. Please, if you're going to release a film in the US, make sure the ENTIRE film is accessible to the intended audience.
Eagle vs Shark (2007)
Why are there no films about nerds directed by nerds?
Saw this at a regular theater in Kansas City, Missouri - surprised that this film would even play there, I made sure to see it just to support the idea of having a wider range of films at this particular multiplex.
I can't say I loved it, or "Napoleon Dynamite", it's predecessor. Mostly because I was at least as socially unacceptable as the two lead characters in this film (and probably still am). And neither this director or the director of "Napoleon Dynamite" actually understand these type of people. The directors who were actually huge nerds - like Quentin Tarintino - don't make films about nerds. Instead, they make films about the cool people they wish they were, they people that they imagined they could be from the movies they've seen.
And, as typical, they cast a beautiful woman. In order to make her less beautiful, she spends the first third of the film with her face screwed up in various goofy expressions. She could have learned a lot by seeing Todd Solondz "Welcome to the Dollhouse". As Stephen King pointed out in his memorable review of "The Lawnmower Man" - "In Hollywood movies geeks are never really unsightly, they just have bad haircuts".
I wish I could have enjoyed this film more.
Vinyl (2000)
Odd confessional about obsession, not records
Like Harvey Pekar, but wish he was more of a whiny, uninteresting looser? The real Harvey Pekar is in this film for comparison, so you can see for yourself.
The subjects being interviewed would have been far more interesting in the hands of an interviewer with some empathy, and who didn't have the same obsession. As it is, he lacks the necessary distance from the subject to provide a decent overview. There is definitely a documentary to be made about this subject, but for the most part this film could be used by someone else as a template for how not to make that documentary.
Several points taken away for a breathtakingly cringe-worthy "girlfriend interview" and end titles that sacrifice readability for "style".
Pirates (2005)
Great production values...but...
Man do I wish this had been a better film than it was. A number of the male actors and one of the female ones were trying, and were at least as good as actors in the average "Troma" film. But the majority didn't even bother to learn their lines! You can see their eyes shifting back and forth reading the TelePrompTer! I can appreciate the position the producers were in - that they needed "names" to sell the product, but most of the names weren't trying.
I know how old this makes me sound, but I remember the "Golden Age" of X-rated films, and how, at the very minimum, the lead actresses knew their lines. I can imagine this film cast with 1970s-era actresses in their prime - Vanessa Del Rio, Veronica Hart, Lisa De Leeuw, Kelly Nichols. Back then, the ranks of porn were filled with aspiring actresses, while these days it's filled with women who do porn in order to make money feature dancing in clubs.
One other difference is that they are all scared of spending this amount of money and running the risk of being sued by the government. So they don't have any non-consensual sex. Sorry, but these are PIRATES! Vicious, bloodthirsty pirates! Instead, they tip-toe around and spend most of the film focusing on the pirate-hunter.
Most of my other complaints have been covered by other posters: tattoos on "shy virgins", implants, waxing and in general all the woman looking like the "Aryan Nation" calender.
Maybe at some point in the future, someone will be able to make an explicit film with the erotic impact of the sex scenes in "Body Heat" or "A History of Violence". One can only hope.
Over the Hedge (2006)
Hollywood actually shows some taste
One other poster mentioned it, but it is such an important point that it bears repeating.
This film could have been the most obnoxious pile of product placement in the history of cinema. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of opportunities to put real brands on packages. They could well have recovered a significant percentage of the production costs by selling labels on every package of food. And the shocking, wonderful part is that they didn't! There is not one real brand anywhere in this film! To some extent, this will help the film retain an early Disney "timelessness", unlike the embarrassing joke about "Pepsi Free" that mars "Back To The Future".
The other poster mentioned that the products might not be shown in the best light, but I don't think that is a problem. All the food is shown as desirable and delicious (especially compared to tree bark), and there is nothing about the presentation that any corporate sponsor would object to.
Again, thanks to the powers that be at Dreamworks for showing remarkable restraint and foresightedness in not turning this film into a 90 minute long commercial.
The Pirates of Penzance (1980)
The DVD quality is awful
This is a very bad recording of a very good performance.
The show was obviously professionally shot, and the credits list a multi-channel sound recording crew. But the sound on this is in mono and has very audible "time code" noise, a high-pitched audio signal that was used to link the videotape to a simultaneously recorded audiotape. Given the vintage of the shoot, it was probably shot on 1" videotape and 2", 24-track audiotape. As few video productions facilities still have 1" playback equipment, and judging by the video quality, this was made from a 3/4" "safety" copy.
Why? The suppliers cheaped out. They didn't spend the time or energy to find the original tapes, or if they had them, to transfer them, or to do a mix-down of the 24-track master audio.
It is possible to make an excellent DVD from this material. The DVD currently available is not it.
The Pirates of Penzance (1983)
Why this film was not a hit, and played only one week
Several of the most recent comments have asked why this film wasn't a hit and why it played only one week. As one of the few who managed to catch it's very brief theatrical run, I can fill everyone in.
"Pirates of Penzance" was chosen for an experiment by the studio. This was the first film to be made available for simultaneous or "day and date" release in theaters and on cable. The theater chains have always seen this as a threat to their very existence and responded by showing the film on as few screens as contractually permissible for the shortest time possible. In the case of Kansas City, Missouri, the only showing was for one week in a miserable little 75-seat theater. The only ad for it was a single line of text in the theater listings of the local newspaper.
This film was not "released", it was pushed out into a snowstorm, hungry and naked.
This experiment has been repeated recently with Stephen Soderberg's "Bubble". Art film fans who might have wished to see "Bubble" in the theater had to have sharp eyes and quick reflexes to catch it in the theater. And the theater owners appear ready to do the same thing to any further attempts.
Tsotsi (2005)
Difficult-to-believe character arc
I watched this with my wife, who prefers heavy drama ("Dogville" is one of her favorite films). The lead character commits several particularly brutal criminal acts in the first 30 minutes, establishing that he is vicious and completely lacking in empathy. And then, though the somehow magical influence of an innocent baby winding up in his care, he somehow develops an ethical system. It is completely unbelievable. The character established in the first quarter of the film would have dumped the infant in ditch without a second thought. Possibly the filmmakers over-sold his viciousness early on, but I did not buy his redemption. I seriously considered walking out of this film, and would have if I had not been with my wife. One of the more unpleasant film-going experiences I have ever had (after the repulsive and hateful "Dogville").
Make a Wish (1971)
Fast moving
One of the favorite shows of my childhood (along with "The Old Curiosity Shop"). The only show that I can recall with a similar structure was James Burke's "Connections" - jumping from subject to subject. Nowdays, this is considered harmful to a child's development. I thought it was wonderful. It was the first show that moved as quickly as I did, and for a half-hour each week I could learn as fast as I wished to. (Of course now, children like me are diagnosed as ADHD and drugged to slow down to the speed of the other kids).
I'd love to see this on DVD, if only to find if the reality fits my memories.
One from the Heart (1981)
Amazing accomplishment.
One of the most amazing accomplishments of a master filmmaker, Coppola built Las Vegas on a soundstage to achieve a deliberate level of artificiality. The story is "boy and girl fight, have flings and get back together"...a simple schematic to hang the visuals on.
One has to pay attention to the songs by Tom Waits; half the plot is told by the lyrics. In addition to Frederic Forrest as the male lead "Hank" and Teri Garr as "Franny", Harry Dean Stantion as Hank's friend and Lanie Kazan as Franny's, and Raul Julia and Nastassja Kinski, Tom Waits and Crystal Gayle are a "greek chorus", commenting on the action and the inner thoughts of Hank and Franny.
Coppola used a number of knock-out "in camera" effects, including scrims and half-silvered mirrors. Also, he worked closely with Sony to develop "Electronic Cinema" - this may be the first electronically edited film. He was roundly criticized for this at the time, but of course now virtually every film is electronically edited.
This film was shot in 4:3, with prime lenses for amazing depth of field. It is optimally seen on a large projection screen.
"One From The Heart" is one of my favorite films. It's not a conventional film, nor was it intended to be.
One from the Heart (1981)
Amazing accomplishment.
One of the most amazing accomplishments of a master filmmaker, Coppola built Las Vegas on a soundstage to achieve a deliberate level of artificiality. The story is "boy and girl fight, have flings and get back together"...a simple schematic to hang the visuals on.
One has to pay attention to the songs by Tom Waits; half the plot is told by the lyrics. In addition to Frederic Forrest as the male lead "Hank" and Teri Garr as "Franny", Harry Dean Stantion as Hank's friend and Lanie Kazan as Franny's, and Raul Julia and Nastassja Kinski, Tom Waits and Crystal Gayle are a "greek chorus", commenting on the action and the inner thoughts of Hank and Franny.
Coppola used a number of knock-out "in camera" effects, including scrims and half-silvered mirrors. Also, he worked closely with Sony to develop "Electronic Cinema" - this may be the first electronically edited film. He was roundly criticized for this at the time, but of course now virtually every film is electronically edited.
This film was shot in 4:3, with prime lenses for amazing depth of field. It is optimally seen on a large projection screen.
"One From The Heart" is one of my favorite films. It's not a conventional film, nor was it intended to be.