Reviews

Obviously a gigantic improvement over Episode I, Episode II "Attack of the Clones" is truly "the best star wars film in over 20 years"....even better than Episode VI but not as good as Episodes IV and V. This movie reminds viewers of EMPIRE (Anakin getting his arm cut off by the Count; the count getting away) where as Phantom Menace reminded viewers of JEDI (Jar Jar and his gunguns defeating evil just as the ewoks did in JEDI). While PHANTOM and JEDI were juvenile, CLONES is more satisfying in its action sequences (especially Yoda's battle near the end) and covers a lot of ground for Episode III. Ewoks (a bunch of annoying teddy bears) defeating storm-troopers???? Give me a break! Gunguns under the leadership of an annoying incompetent gungan named Jar Jar Binks defeating battle droids???? Give me a break!

Many fans are criticizing the acting....but who watches films like these for the acting? The acting here is the same as in any James Bond film or action-packed blockbuster. Movies like this are primarilly fun and CLONES delivers fun 100%. People should realize that if the prequels came out first (over 20 years ago), people would then only criticize the final episodes (especially when it came to special effects). So no matter what happens, people (die-hard fans or not) will forever complain and complain about what they didn't like or what should have happened instead, etc. Save your complaints!!! No star wars film is perfect!!! Just shut up, relax and enjoy this one. It's one of the best.

It seems the original trilogy got worse (Episode IV is my all-time favorite....I know....I'm not like everyone else who worships EMPIRE and I, like those who do worship EMPIRE, have my reasons why) and the prequel trilogy gets better (almost everyone agreeing that PHANTOM MENACE was the weakest in the series and that CLONES was a huge improvement). I, unlike most people, didn't hate Episode I and I think as the years go on (seeing that after 2005, no other movie phenomena will ever come close to this again...no matter how many imitators try to pull it off....YOU HEAR ME PETER JACKSON...MR. LORD OF THE RINGS???? YOUR TRILOGY WILL NEVER COMPARE!!!!!) people will appreciate it more than when it was first released (The original film is the perfect example). This will not happen until after the final episode is released and available, along with all of the other episodes, on vhs/dvd. Then die-hard fans will watch them all in order and see (as George Lucas has) that every episode has its place and none shall be hated.

This movie is just one big "uncensored" episode of the infamous tv show "The Gong Show" and for fans of the show, like myself, it's truly a memorable classic. When this movie was released 21 years ago, it was bashed by critics who called it "nothing more than a sleazy freak show" and that's probably the reason why it was never released on video. I think it's about time that somebody re-issues this hilarious tale of just how far a game show host will go to exploit and humiliate the guests on his show. Chuck "Chucky Baby" Barris plays himself in a much more mellow role than the one he played on the show (rumor has it that Barris was high on uppers during almost every broadcast...and it showed) as a man frustrated with the networks who want him to keep his syndicated show on a fine line between the insane and the obscene. This being too hard to do, Barris suffers a nervous breakdown which leads him into exile in a desert in Morocco where all his friends follow him and convince him to just "do what he wants to do" despite what the networks who broadcast his show say. This is accompanied by a catchy tune titled "Don't Get up For Me". Barris finally goes back to the states and does the show "his way", causing one network executive to literally faint during the broadcast. This movie was a perfect ending to The Gong Show itself, which went off the air a few months after the movie premiered. The uncensored collection of auditions and show performances in this movie are priceless. Some of the acts include a man portraying Jesus Christ on the cross singing the Dean Martin tune "Please Release Me, Let Me Go", The Unknown Comic's vulgar jokes, two siamese twins singing The Captain and Tennille's "Love Will Keep Us Together", Jaye P. Morgan flashing her breasts, a human flatulent machine, an upside down banjo player who is dropped onto the stage head-first, and a folk song about legalizing prostitution, just to name a few. The soundtrack is great and it should be released along with the movie itself. The problem with today's movies are that all of them, whether great or horrible, are released on video while many movies before 1990 were never released on video. It didn't matter if they were great or lousy. I hope to see a copy of this movie on the market within the next few years. My copy isn't that good because it's very very old and barely watchable. That's why we need this cult classic on video. See it if you can. If not, petition to see it by having MCA Universal release it on VHS and DVD. 21 years without it is enough. Get your act together Universal...it's about time.

Extremities, which runs 89 minutes, could have worked perfectly if the last 45 minutes were just like the first 44. The first half is very disturbing and realistic in its depiction of attackers and rapists. This half could even be seen as an after-school special showing teenagers that "Rape is no laughing matter!" Farrah Fawcett's character gets threatened, violated, beat up, raped, and humiliated. Her attacker is a married man with children who is a complete sadist in sexual dominance. He makes Farrah cook him some breakfast, touch his genitals, tell him "I love you" and "I want to make love to you" while beating her up in the process. This is where the movie really works. It shows the viewer that rape isn't always committed by a strange loner...it can be committed by anyone (Even a happily married man with children. I say "happily married" because in the beginning of the movie, you can hear the attacker's wife calling him to lunch. It is obvious that his wife, although never seen on screen, has made him a very nice and delicious lunch. You can tell by the tone of her voice). The first half also has us asking questions such as "Why would a man do this?" and that question has to be answered by the viewer's own opinion because the second half on Extremities falls completely apart. Farrah, with her beautiful strong feet, manages (in a completely impossible situation) to capture her attacker and reverse the role playing. She sprays his eyes with bug spray (which happens to be conveniently by her at the time) then ties and beats him up (yeah....whatever). The question above is never answered because instead of going into deep character studies, the last 45 minutes are close ups of Farrah's feet walking around her captor as her roomates look on wondering if she's really the crazier and more sadistic one. Excellent 51% of the way.

Compared to CAGED HEAT and other womens' prison films, CHAINED HEAT is the ultimate classic of the genre! It's got gruesome violence, a lot of humor, and lots and lots of female NUDITY! Also equipped with a decent story.

Linda Blair is ok in the starring role but the 3 best characters got to be:

1.)John Vernon's prison warden who has a jacuzzi in his office that's never without a sexy inmate. He also tapes his sex-capades with a video camera. GOD I WISH I HAD HIS JOB!

2.) Stella Stevens' prison guard, Taylor, is a real tough bitch who scares new inmates (Blair) and brutalizes the rest with her cruel orders and unorthodox decisions. She also has an erotic side to her when she tries to satisfy her strong sexual urges by deeply falling for one of the warden's buddies who is only using her for his own personal gain. He is, in fact, already serious with the next character who is the best thing in this entire movie...SEX GODDESS SYBIL DANNING!

3.) Sybil Danning's inmate, Ericka, is a georgous and tough woman who runs the entire prison. She makes unwanted passes at Linda Blair, especially in the BIG SHOWER SCENE where beautiful Sybil caresses Blair's shoulder's with warm water and soap. GOD I WISH I WAS LINDA BLAIR AT THAT MOMENT! Sybil has all the power in this movie. She chooses who she wants and desires and who she rejects and harms including one male guard who's crazy about her. Imagine being so close to her at work everyday and not being able to even approach her. TORTURE!

See this movie and you'll very entertained..you'll get some laughs, some gore, a few catfights, and an increase in libido. Enjoy!

Maniac is so disturbing and sadistic that it's so fun to watch. Joe Spinnel (Willie Cheechee from the godfather movies) is the slasher as he kills sexy young women and scalps them then puts their scalps on his set of female mannequins in his apartment as a hobby. It's an unusual hobby I must say.

Best scene: Spinnel walks onto the hood of a parked car and blows a guy's head off with a shotgun at close range.

The end makes it a horror flick when all of the mannequins come to life and tear Spinnel apart in an after-life revenge activity that is ultimately satisfying.

After hearing fantastic reviews from critics and the public, I finally saw this movie and was bored and irritated 10 minutes into the film. I guess the story of a boy ballerina appeals to most but it was not appealing to me at all. Billy Elliot's voice was extremely annoying as were all the british accents (the dance instructor, Billy's father/brother) and when voices are unbearable, it's hard to enjoy the movie. Where are all the good british actors who have nice voices like Richard Burton, Lawrence Olivier and Rex Harrison? Probably all dead like they are. Now, the british actors have pathetic voices that are laughable and aggravating.

The director focuses too much on the little boy's sweaty body parts as if he were shooting this movie for child molestors. Billy Elliot dances ballet.....wow. A big deal hundreds of years ago...but not in 1984 (when the story takes place).

If you get the dvd, find a silly sounding voice (anything Billy Elliot or anyone in the movie says), repeat it over and over and you'll begin to notice how horrible their acting is. 12 minutes into the dvd, Billy Elliot shous "NO I'M NOT!" at the dance instructor through a car window. This line needs to be repeated over and over. That's all.

Primarily a spoof of Jason Miller's "That Championship Season", "Night of Questions" pokes fun at religion rather than the drama of competitive sports. Originally titled "That CCD Season", the story is about a theological ccd teacher who has been actively involved in his church and his church's school for many years. He is being honored for "25 years of dedicated service" by the diocese and a party is going to be held for him where he will receive an award and give a long and proud speech to his family and friends. He decides to get together with 4 of his former male pupils (now adults) who admired him more than anyone (and still do) to have a small party of their own before the big honorary dinner. It is here when the fun starts as 3 of the students arrive at the teacher's house and they follow him to the "old church" where he taught them to be altar boys.

In a very funny scene, The students walk fast up the church stairs in single file, bless themselves with holy water, and get down on their knees and recite the "Our Father" as fast as they can as the teacher times them with a stop watch: "30 Seconds! Not bad! Not bad at all! I taught you boys well and you still got it!" says the teacher with such pride and joy.

Then the 4th student, who went all the way to becoming a priest, arrives from out of state at the bus station and is greeted by them all. It turns out that he quit the priesthood and doesn't believe in God anymore. They are all shocked and can't understand why he doesn't believe anymore. He begins to explain and challenge them all, especially his former mentor (the teacher).As the night goes on, they begin to understand the reasons for his actions and beliefs and begin to question themselves. An emotionally powerful and funny film.

Not many movies give me a strange feeling inside but "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" gave me just that. Here is a movie that doesn't have any blood, guts, or horror....only words. It were these words that made my skin crawl and to have dialogue deeply effect me proves that this film gripped me from start to finish. Taylor and Burton are equally marvelous as well as Segal and Dennis who are permanently scarred for life after the all-night event is over....through the most brutal, manipulative, abusive and honest words I've ever seen in a movie.

To accomplish this in 1966 and have it stand the test of time 35 years later is simply a grand achievement and makes this a timeless classic.

The scene where Richard Burton spins Sandy Dennis around in a circle while shouting "WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?" at her until she throws up is one of the great (and creepy) moments in this realistic piece of americana.

I was not impressed with "All the King's Men"...Broderick Crawford did the best he could to bring his character to life, who is based on 1930's Louisiana politician "Kingfish" Huey Long, but the story line is sloppy. It focuses too long on the reporter's life who worked for Crawford rather than focusing on Crawford's Willy Stark character. The scenes of the reporter in his hometown are too slow. McCambridge is memorable as Willy Stark's secretary. I was never impressed with Crawford's acting in the first place....neither he or his characters ever appealed to me (with the exception of his Harry Brock in "Born Yesterday" but the Harry Brock character wasn't that hard to play. Anyone can act mean.) Willy Stark, the poor narrative, and the entire message of the movie is silly. It uses politics to say "Power Corrupts EVERYONE"...not everyone. It corrupts many or most but not everyone. This out-dated overrated film isn't much. Director Rossen handled "The Hustler" 100% better and with much more style and vigor.

I can't figure out to this day why Blowup is praised so highly by critics and audiences. Of course it has good camera shots but great camera shots alone don't make a great movie. There are 2 kinds of movie viewers:

1.) The viewers who are amazed by technical efforts such as good camera angles, great camera shots, awesome special effects, etc. and thus say that a movie that has those things are "classics" "fantastic" or "amazing" even though the plot is awful and the film itself is completely boring or ridiculous.

2.) The viewers who are amazed by regular efforts such as great acting, good plots, splendid dialogue, etc. and thus say that a movie that has those things are "classics" "fantastic" or "amazing" even though there are not any "wonderful" camera angles or shots that will be noticed by group 1 viewers.

I am part of the group 2 viewers...I enjoy those things first rather than the things mentioned in group 1. Most film professors, critics and scholars belong to group 1. Any movie that can satisfy both groups is indeed a great movie but not all movies satisfy both groups and Blowup definitely caters to group 1 viewers.

To me, a "movie" does not mean a "motion picture". To me, A "movie" means a "moving picture"...to be moved in some way whether it be a comedy, drama, or action movie. Group 1 basically sees movies as "motion pictures" but group 2 sees movies as "moving pictures" not because they move physically but because they move the viewer emotionally through laughter, sadness, eye candy action or intellect.

That's why I didn't care for Blowup and Citizen Kane. Take a stand! Which group do you belong in??

I can honestly say that "Blow" is the first great movie of 2001. The story of George Young (Jung, Lung, and Mung were his nicknames) is an interesting one. I never saw a guy get arrested so many times and not learn his lesson. This guy never had a job for 30 years. All he did was smuggle drugs, either marijuana or cocaine. He'd get caught, do some time, and jump bail to do it all over again only to get caught again. Maybe he wanted to get caught deep down in his sub-conscious mind.

The movie is never boring and I didn't want it to end. That's how you know you're watching a great film. Johnny Depp plays the lead very well and it's funny how his character was still stuck in a 70's time warp through the 80's and 90's with his goofy hairstyles and his wide collar shirts and, in the most hilarious scene, he snorts a line of cocaine in 1992 only to say "It's pure disco." George gets out of prison in 2011 and he'll be in his 80's or 90's. I wonder if he'll smuggle again...probably cause this guy never learns his lesson. What a shame! Great movie! See it and you'll know what I mean!

The funniest mob comedy ever arrived at the end of the millennium (not Mickey Blue Eyes) and this is it. De Niro spoofs his previous gangster film characters perfectly and Billy Crystal is great as the straight-man shrink who has to deal with De Niro. Joe Vitrelli is memorable as the stupid 300 pound henchman "Jilly" and Chazz P. plays his vengeful mob boss character so naturally that it's automatically funny because he's not trying to be. Here's a gem of a comedy that doesn't need to try hard to be funny...it just is. Analyze That!

* * * *

One of the greatest comedies ever made (right up there with National Lampoon's Vacation, Caddyshack, Dumb and Dumber, and Clerks) that really makes a strong statement about swingers, s&m, rape, murder, and cannibalism without becoming tasteless. This is Bartel's greatest accomplishment. A major cult hit and deservingly so.

* * * *

Tommy Lee Jones gives a splendid performance as the aging legendary baseball great, Ty Cobb. The movie shows the last few years of Cobb's life as he talks of the past with sports writer Al Stump. Never boring, great dialogue. The scene where Cobb literally "coughs up a lung" in a bathroom sink is one of the movie's highpoints.

This movie, although not completely factual, is one of the best movies of 1999. Denzel Washington's performance is the greatest of his career. The boxing scenes, filmed in black and white, reminded me of the fantastic boxing scenes in Raging Bull. The Hurricane is inspirational and very moving. The black kid and canadians prove that some people care more about a human being than one's one family. "Hate put me in here.....but Love's gonna bust me out!" What words! Rod Steiger makes a cameo as a judge. Dan Hedaya is good as the cop obsessed with seeing the hurricane suffer and Pussy from the Sopranos has a short but silly role as Alfred Bello, the witness who is bribed to ruin 20 years of the hurricane's life. the 2 hours and 40 minutes fly by. Norman Jewison has struck gold again with this classic drama.

After waiting for a few months to go and see Magnolia, I finally went one monday evening and found myself extremely disappointed. It was perhaps the worst movie I have ever seen in a theatre. The reason being that none of it came together or made sense...even in the end. To sit and watch a movie for 3 hours and not have it come together or even arrive at a conclusion is the worst part. I walked out feeling like I just wasted 3 hours of my life and 7.00 of my money. I wanted to see Magnolia because I enjoy stories that intersect and come together ("Twenty Bucks", for example) and that's what I expected. What a shock! After seeing Magnolia, I heard of another movie with the same kind of theme to it and that movie is "Short Cuts". I rented it, watched it, and found it to be not only 100 times better than Magnolia but also an excellent and very entertaining movie as well. Short Cuts is 3 hours long, just like Magnolia. Short Cuts is about different stories that take place during a period of 48 hours in Los Angeles, kind of like Magnolia. Magnolia focuses on weather, Short Cuts focuses on a medfly epidemic. There are many characters whose lives change the lives of others around them and they occasionally intersect with one another, kind of like Magnolia. Only here are the better reasons why to see Short Cuts and completely avoid Magnolia:

1.) Better Stories; More Characters that are actually Interesting. - Short Cuts has 22 main characters (WOW!) who are involved in about 10 different stories. The characters include the following: A lounge singer, a violinist, a television newscaster, a 7 year old boy, an estranged grandfather, a doctor, an artist, a cop, a helicopter pilot, 3 fishermen, a party clown, a chauffeur, a waitress, a dead body, a pool cleaner, a make-up artist, a baker, and a phone sex operator.....and it all makes sense in the end.

2.) Better Finale: Short Cuts has an earthquake...Magnolia has bullfrogs falling from the sky...Enough said. The movie goes by so fast because we are enjoying each and every story because they all have a certain purpose and, believe it or not, you can connect each of the 22 characters together with at least someone else. You don't have to wait until the end for it to make sense, like some movies I know that say it will but don't live up to their promise. In the end, you can bet your life that it all comes together and forms a very acceptable conclusion. The prologue of Magnolia belongs at the beginning of Short Cuts and Magnolia, aside from it's prologue, belongs in the garbage.

Magnolia started out as a very deep movie with different plots that were supposed to, as it is said in the trailer, "make sense in the end". Well it didn't make sense for the first hour or the second hour, but that was okay because the movie is three hours long and in the third and final hour, this will all supposedly make sense. At the end of the movie, I was shocked and disappointed. It didn't come together and make sense in the end at all. I felt foolish that I sat through this nonsense for 3 hours. There were so many questions waiting to be answered but never are. Examples: The plot with the boy genius suddenly ends. We don't know if the father changes his personality or not. The game show host plot is never resolved: The mother and daughter just cry together and no contact occurs between the family. The final scene is so inaudible by the soundtrack that you can't even hear what the cop is saying to the girl who is a "cokehead" but never confesses it to him because the film makers have already gotten the audiences money. So they end the movie by not giving any conclusions to the plots. It just ends. And when it started to rain frogs, I still had hope in this movie. I loved Boogie Nights and Hard Eight and I felt that the frogs would eventually have some symbolism in the movie....not so. It just rains frogs. Period. No meaning to the story. The movie tried to base itself on strange coincidences and encounters by showing an interesting 3 minute prologue regarding freak occurances that happened in the past century and how they all were somehow related. Too bad the movie really has nothing to do with coincidences and close occurances. That was a way to get you to see the movie. Don't be fooled! Awful stuff!

This movie is nothing but a joke that's an hour and a half too long. There is no proof that Elvis Presley is still alive. He died from drugs in August of 1977 and he's been dead ever since. Even if he was alive, he wouldn't go to the Piggly Wiggly and he definitely wouldn't eat a ding-dong. he was a heterosexual and this whole movie mocks and insults one of the greatest rock n roll performers of the last century.

Milos Forman is one of the greatest directors of our time. He has only made a handful of movies but each one he makes is an excellent success. "Man On The Moon" is no exception. Jim Carrey plays Andy Kaufman to a "T": his voice and mannerisms are top-notch. The movie doesn't leave out any major details about Andy Kaufman's life. Everything you've seen or heard about is in this movie. Although it's a few minutes shy of 2 hours, it never seems to rush through anything. I didn't want it to end. The opening scene is one of the most interesting scenes ever in a movie. This goes right up there with Forman's previous works (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Amadeus) and is superior over Forman's last biopic The People Vs. Larry Flynt, another very good movie but not an excellent one.

After seeing him in The Hustler, Patton, and A Christmas Carol (his greatest role), I thought that those were his best acting jobs until I came across this film. Now there are 4 great George C. Scott performances (I would include 12 Angry Men and Inherit The Wind but you know how I feel about remakes)! He plays a deeply religious man who tries to find his missing teenage daughter who ran away from home and went to the big city to be a porno star. A good movie all around with satisfactory acting jobs from Scott, Peter Boyle (Wizard from "Taxi Driver" and Joe from "Joe") who plays a detective Scott hires to find his daughter, and all of the pimps, porno producers, hookers, and street trash that are in the whole movie. 8mm with Nicholas Cage was very similar. I think 8mm got it's basic plot from Hardcore. No doubt about it.

Midnight Express is right up there with The Shawshank Redemption, Cool Hand Luke, and Bad Boys. The story of how one american was sentenced to life in a turkish prison just for trying to smuggle hashish back to the united states is fabulous. The beginning scene perfectly captures the smuggler's horror and nervousness as he's passing through customs and trying to get on the plane without being caught. There is a loud and fast heartbeat on the soundtrack that gives the scene a triumphant effect on how one person must feel when they are terrified. The rest of the film depicts the smuggler's torturous life in the prison, his tolerance, courage, strength, and eventually his chance to finally escape. I highly recommend this movie to anyone who appreciates good movies.

Death Wish is a classic, no doubt about it. Charles Bronson plays his most famous performance as Paul Kersey, the architect who comes home one day to find his wife raped and killed and his daughter brutally raped and beaten. The most clever thing about the movie is that it doesn't turn into the usual "good guy goes after bad guy" formula. The muggers who broke into his home and killed/raped his wife and daughter are never caught. This is what leads to Bronson becoming a local vigilante. By doing so, he hopes one night that he will encounter and kill the muggers who killed his wife and brutally beat his daughter (who became comatose after the attack). You can closely relate to the Paul Kersey character and that's what makes this movie so effective. The movie could have fell apart right from the beginning when the attack occurs. Bronson could have chased after the attackers or eventually kill them all at the end; That would have been a predictable and happy hollywood ending. Fortunately, the movie doesn't turn out that way. Paul Kersey never encounters or kills any of the muggers who attacked his family. Instead, he makes his neighborhood safer by getting rid of the other muggers and killers who wander around. He gets shot in the leg, identified by a decent cop as the "unknown vigilante" who lets him go because he can relate to his sufferings. The best part is he made a difference. Great Film!

This was Martin Scorsese's second full-length feature film and it is a decent one. It's about a young girl in the 1930's who meets and falls in love with a union organizer, who also happens to be a thief. Together, they form a small gang and begin robbing trains as well as anything else they can get their hands on. The fun soon turns to fright when they become fugitives and are hunted down by law enforcement officers. There's action and entertainment but not a movie that you would expect from Martin Scorsese. It has none of his trade marks whatsoever. But do realize that this was one of his first films and try to respect that. I do.