Reviews
Firestorm (1998)
Hilarious! ****! Funniest Movie of the year!!!
Oh wait...It wasn't a comedy was it? Well, my friends and I came out of the theater in tears. This was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Right up there with "The Big Hit" (Which was also really funny), and "Armageddon". Howie Long was terrible. The probability of the stunts and action was even worse, and the fact that someone actually thought up this movie was the worst of all. And oh, it was really funny how Long pulled a RUNNING CHAINSAW out of his butt. Plus, I was amazed how he could throw it through someone's windshield and then fly off a cliff with no parachute but then...had a parachute! The best actor in the movie was the axe. This is filmmaker's fecal matter.
That '70s Show (1998)
What a horrible way to follow up 'The Simpsons'.
T.V. gets worse every year. Shows like this are the proof. My only hope is that it will die out quick, sort of like South Park. But alas, I know that my tiny shred of hope is for naught.
Seven years ago, this show would NEVER have survived what with 'Seinfeld', 'Married With Children', and 'The Simpsons' going strong. But oh, how the times have changed. P.C. TV programs have become the norm, which means almost every new show to come out will be pure crap. The two funniest and well written shows on TV as of right now are cartoons,(Dr. Katz and The Simpsons)which really intrigues me.
One night, when this show first came out, I was watching it with my mom, and the first thing she said was "This is absolutely not what the seventies were like." And she's right. This is the 70's portrayed in the 90's way, which, really sucks. I think almost everyone I know loves this show. And they get angry when I tell them how much I hate it, yet they never listen to my reasons: The jokes are terrible, the fact that the fake audience laugh at EVERYTHING that foreign exchange student says is ridiculous, and every character is unrealistic. The ONLY thing half-way decent is the father.
If you want entertainment and brilliant comedy at 8:30 on Sunday night, tune in to Cartoon Network for 'The Tex Avery Show.'
Armageddon (1998)
I paid money for this?
Armageddon was the one movie that I saw this summer that actually tempted me to get up and leave. And I'm poor, so wasting money is not something I like to do. The only reason why I sat in that uncomfortable chair in that crowded movie theater with my friend was the fact that I was having so much fun riddling it with sarcasm and bitterness. Michael Bay needs to find a genre(for lack of a better word) and stick with it. The special effects were good...but I didn't care because, silly me, I went into the theater expecting a decent flick. Now I know big budget explosion movies make a crap-load of money and I do enjoy leaving my brain at the door soaking up the special effects from time to time, but this just made me want to wretch. As for the performances... Bruce Willis was Bruce Willis, Good ol' Bill Thornton was the only character I actually believed in, and the rest were pathetic stereotypes that I've seen in so many movies before. (Oh, but they were so funny and cute...he he he!) Don't watch this movie, don't give this company any more money...please!
Armageddon (1998)
I paid money for this?
Armageddon was the one movie that I saw this summer that actually tempted me to get up and leave. And I'm poor, so wasting money is not something I like to do. The only reason why I sat in that uncomfortable chair in that crowded movie theater with my friend was the fact that I was having so much fun riddling it with sarcasm and bitterness. Michael Bay needs to find a genre(for lack of a better word) and stick with it. The special effects were good...but I didn't care because, silly me, I went into the theater expecting a decent flick. Now I know big budget explosion movies make a crap-load of money and I do enjoy leaving my brain at the door soaking up the special effects from time to time, but this just made me want to wretch. As for the performances... Bruce Willis was Bruce Willis, Good ol' Bill Thornton was the only character I actually believed in, and the rest were pathetic stereotypes that I've seen in so many movies before. (Oh, but they were so funny and cute...he he he!) Don't watch this movie, don't give this company any more money...please!