Reviews
Il ciclone (1996)
Charming and funny
Very, very sweet movie, sweet characters, sweet love story. If you were looking for an Italian version of Twister then you're out of luck, cause I don't think you'll ever find one, if you want some light-hearted entertainment this is the place to look. The jokes in this are actually funny, rather than the slapstick style of some other recent "comedies" (see: There's Something About That Bimbo Cameron Diaz). The settings are beautiful, the acting ain't bad at all, the characters are fun. (Notice that there ARE actual characters in this, as in, they could be real people, not the one-sided stereotypes of There's Something Wrong With This Movie.) Really, it's much funnier than a lot of those dopey two-hour come shots disguised as "comedy movies" you stupid Americans keep churning out. Viva Italiana!
Sometimes They Come Back... Again (1996)
This movie achieves what I thought couldn't be done!
That's right! It's WORSE than the original! Interesting characters? Suuuuuuuure, uh-huh, have fun in that padded room of yours. The plot, characters, etc. all could've been pulled out of the Big Hollywood Grab Bag-O-Cliches, and probably were. Think about it: The wonderful good girl, the slutty but friendly girl, the extremely sweet at first but turns-out-to-be-evil guy, the weird psychic girl. Real original, you can only find THAT in about 436 other movies. It wore out the already-tired original one, plus screwed it up even more with the stupid (and you can't say this isn't the King of Cliches, or at least some royalty) occult theme. Done in a very cheezy way, also. (Personally, though, I did find it quite funny with--that thing about the ears. But that only lasted a second, so it's not much in the way of redeeming value.)
Serial Mom (1994)
He hee heeee
It is a maliciously funny movie, an unusually black comedy, divine (no pun intended) for parties (especially sleep-overs, when everyone else is bringing a chick flick). The acting is lovely, especially the title role. (Divine couldn't'a done it better.) If the other entries on the comments page don't convince you,
G O
S E E
T H I S
M O V I E !
Watch it with your mom. Then again, don't give her any ideas.
Sometimes They Come Back (1991)
Dumb. Dumb dumb dumb!
Pathetic! It's a scar on the face of movie-making! Then again, it is a TV movie, what did you expect? Try to avoid seeing it as much as possible.
The Outsiders (1983)
Disappointing film, read the book instead
The book was excellent, even by the seventh time I read it. The movie... well, once is definitely enough. Much sappier than the book, some of the best parts were left out, it didn't follow character descriptions, and it was just CHEEZY. I can agree with the plot of the movie being unrealistic, this is because it didn't pay enough attention to the book. I've said it before and I shall say it again:
NO MORE BAD MOVIES BASED ON GOOD BOOKS.
I'm going to write a petition on this, it's *really* getting out of hand.
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
Horror? What horror?
Who said this was a horror film? Oh, no, wrong movie, this is a *campy cult flick*! See, there is a difference, in that horror tends to be either boring or stupid yet tries to take itself seriously enough to scare people. (99% of the time they don't, that's why I've given up with horror.) Campy cult flicks are, well, campy. They weren't meant to be serious. Shut up about how it was a "bad horror film", that's the POINT: to be "bad" enough that it makes the movie "good." (See: Rocky Horror Picture Show.)
Tarantino is excellent at dialogue, I had never really heard of the director but yeah, we dig him too. Originally I was reluctant to watch it because (eew) George Clooney (ick! gag) is in it, but this is one of the rare movies which can retain their enjoyability despite his presence.
If you're in for a masterful cinematic experience, go see Pulp Fiction because honey, you are in the WRONG place. If you're in for a magnificent horror film, shoot yourself NOW because it ain't gonna happen, especially not with this one. If you couldn't give a flip about anything other than entertainment value, or you're a "cult-flick person" (this is where I come in), sit back and enjoy the ride.
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)
Amazing.
Primitive special effects? Right, like you can honestly watch Wonka, then Starship Troopers, and say the newer one had better visual effects. Sure.
Gene Wilder is absolutely amazing, and the songs are actually *enjoyable* (that alone sets it apart from most "family" movies), I dunno about you but I was stuck humming the Oompa Loompa songs for DAYS after every time I watched it.
Few movies have attracted what could be described as a "cult following." Rocky Horror, Star Wars, and Willy Wonka have achieved the cult-following status, which, in my humble opinion, is the highest honor a movie can achieve. Having nation- or world-wide organizations of devoted fans versus a little 1-foot gold naked dude who'll either break or get lost. You do the math.
In short, a truly amazing film, even in this technologically- blase age.
Necronomicon (1993)
Dumb.
The back of the case said: "Combines the classic horror of 'Evil Dead' with the gothic pleasures of 'Bram Stoker's Dracula.'" I rented the movie based on that & the fact that I like Lovecraft. Well, I sat down and watched it, and man, it could possibly win the award for "Most Disappointing Film Zombie Has Ever Seen". It had neither the "classic horror" of Evil Dead, it was mainly a barrage of horror-movie cliches. Nor did it have the "gothic pleasures" of Bram Stoker's Dracula, it was extremely cheesy-looking. Please, PLEASE no more bad movies based on good books, let's try and let talented authors keep at least SOME respectability.
Grosse Pointe Blank (1997)
zzzzzzzz. bo-ring.
Possibly the most boring movie of the 90's. The characters are moronic, the plot is...well, "contrived" is putting it lightly. About 1/2 way through, 3/4 seconds of a Cure song are played, but even that couldn't reduce my nausea. (The other half made ill again whatever The Cure had cured.) Minnie Driver was by no means Divine; if you want Divine, rent a John Waters flick. (Preferably one with Divine in it.) John Cusack was obnoxious enough to make you wish he'd come kill YOU, just to put you out of your misery watching this idiotic movie. In other words: don't bother.
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
A masterpiece.
Sure it glorifies violence, but how else do you make a movie about criminals, in which everyone ends up dead? Given the plot, violence is hard to avoid. And yet--there ARE more gruesome movies. There are movies in which they'd actually SHOW the ear being hacked off, rather than sliding over to a wall. Personally, I didn't get how people thought THAT was the goriest scene in the movie. I found it wonderful, entertaining and thought-provoking on the nature of good and evil, an instant classic. Tarantino has a real gift for snazzy dialogue, which he exhibits here as much as Dusk Till Dawn or Pulp Fiction. The characters have depth, the simplicity is refreshing. One of the best movies ever made.
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
The epitome of gothic beauty
As for being scary, no it is not, but that clearly was not the intention. It is beautiful, a must-see for Goths. The performances are wonderful, the costumes are wonderful, the sets are wonderful...the only thing about this movie that wasn't wonderful was the Annie Lennox song. Oh, and to Glen Barcoma: Marilyn Manson was an Episcopalian, not Catholic.
The Exorcist (1973)
Yeah, right.
Did it have lots of shock-value? Yes. Did it change the way horror movies were made? Somewhat. Was the acting good? Fair. Was it scary? No. A twelve-year old starts spewing pea soup and screaming obscenities. w00h00. Weak dialogue, and the "let's-try-to-be-shocking" attitude was insulting to the viewer's intelligence. "Psychological thriller," yeah right. PSYCHO was a psychological thriller. Exorcist was a gore-fest with some religious pseudo-brain-candy. The reason it's as big as it is, is when it was first shown it caused general hysteria. (Don't ask why, these people had low standards for what was scary.) People fainted. Paramedics were on the spot. I'd really hate to think what would happen if someone were to make a scary movie that was actually *scary*. (See: Blue Velvet.) If your standards are low enough, you might be scared by The Exorcist, but those of us with discriminating tastes needn't bother.