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Clay-17
Reviews
Daylight (1996)
Hard to watch
Right now, I'm suffering through this movie on AMC...but only as a personal challenge to see if I can make to the end. So far, I'm hoping they all die. Stallone isn't really the issue with this movie - the rest of the cast is obviously there just to yell at each other.
UPDATE - the worthless survivors have just decided to work together! Damn. I'll bet some of them live.
The cop/guard/whatever is trapped underwater, and breathing through a rubber hose. They should beat each other to death with it.
How do I pad this thing out to ten lines? Maybe ask the writers of the movie how to fill time?
300 (2006)
I can't wait for the sequel!
I can't wait for the sequel..."301". Set in the modern day, Satan unleashes the forces of Hell and the direct descendants of the original 300 (who have been maintaining a secret cult since ancient times) sacrifice themselves to save the human race. The only survivor is the skeptical female scientist/reporter (as fortune would have it, she is a direct descendant of the queen, but doesn't know it) who falls in love with our modern day Leonidas, but has to let him go to his fate.
This movie will have no actors, be entirely computer-generated, and will be released directly to DVD. But that's good, because there can be more blood....
Doom (2005)
Hey! This movie didn't suck!
Wow, what a surprise. I played the first version of DOOM when it first came out and had to see this movie. They did a good job of creating a story around it and putting in elements of the game, like the different zones, card-key doors, various weapons from the game and even some first-person action.
The Rock was his usual self, and the other characters added enough spice to make it interesting. To avoid spoiling the movie I won't give any details, but they really did do a good job. I wasn't really scared so much as anxious to see what would happen next.
If you liked the game, then you should enjoy this movie.
Brothers in Arms (2005)
Worst Movie I've Ever Seen
I am about 70% of the way through this movie and I had to stop. I couldn't go any further after seeing the "wooden" teller counter in the bank bow under the weight of "Linc". I couldn't stop laughing after that. This movie is agonizing. It's painful to watch. I've always told people who criticize some of the "B" level horror films that I'm in a habit of watching that you have to suspend reality for two hours to enjoy most films. It's Hollywood. Enjoy the fantasy trip. But this film won't even let me suspend common sense, let alone reality. I'm guessing that the movie is supposed to be set sometime in late 1800's. I'm guessing because the movie is not even convincing me that it could have been set in any reasonable past time frame. Where to begin...the clothes...the clothes are a joke. It's the wild west meets MTV. Is it a movie or a music video...hmmm???? Check out the woman in the bank robbing gang. Women may have dressed that way in the wild west bordellos, but not for trail riding and bank robbing. The situations are laughable. You can't convince me that there were any women sheriffs and/or deputies or women bank tellers in the wild west days. The acting is deplorable. Where did they get the mayor and his wife...some Disney movie? And who's idea was it to bring Bill (David Carradine's character from Kill Bill) back to life and send him back in time to the wild west? Carradine doesn't have much to lose by starring in this film. He's already at the end of his career. But for the countless young actors and actresses who made the bitter error of choosing this vehicle as a ladder climbing notch in their belts have opted for a bullet hole in their careers. I'm going to try to make it through the balance of this film and return it shamefully to my local Blockbuster store. But I highly recommend this film for file 13. You know, the round file...the trash.....
Wedding Crashers (2005)
Not as funny as promised
My friends and the reviews told me this movie was a sure thing. That I'd laugh so hard I'd cry. Well, I didn't. Yes, I laughed. It is funny. Maybe "There's something about Mary" and "Team America" just set the bar too high. There were a few very funny moments, so it's definitely a movie worth seeing.
The crowd I was with didn't seem to laugh as much as me though.
Vince Vaughn is by far the best part of this movie, though a lot of actors have funny bits. VV is great and I look forward to seeing him in other movies.
That's all!
Fantastic Four (2005)
Disappointing
After the good reviews, I was disappointed in this movie. Several people in the theater laughed openly when the characters were strolling around the space station, briefcase in hand. It was especially funny when Ben Grimm was floating just a few feet away.
But to give them credit, the makers of this thing didn't even try to explain it.
However, the middle of this movie is LOOOOOONG. It takes too much time for them to develop their powers, even the villain, and it ends with a quick fight at the end that's almost like political correct superheroism because they all have to get involved.
Mr. Fantastic was okay, Ben Grimm is the best character in the movie, and the Human Torch is disappointing.
Rent it.
War of the Worlds (2005)
Well I liked it
This is an excellent remake of the 50's film, updated for today. I was truly engaged in the movie the whole time...well, except when some jerk's cellphone went off during one suspenseful scene. TURN YOUR PHONES OFF PEOPLE! As for the bad reviews - well, they never get it right anyway and typically hate the movies I like.
Another thing - I didn't get the impression this was a 'Tom Cruise' vehicle movie. He did a good job, but avoided the smirks and wisecracks we usually see. Any good actor would have worked in this movie....Tom Cruise did a good job.
Extra line added since I have to have ten for some reason. What happened to a minimum of four?
The Thin Red Line (1998)
Remember - this is a terrible movie.
I have been monitoring the comments on IMDB since this movie was released. This movie is so terrible that I feel it is my moral obligation to continue to post reminders.
You have been warned. It's three hours of YOUR life that you will NEVER, EVER get back. Don't do it!
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
One good battle, that's all?
I know I need to fill up four lines for this comment to register, so hopefully I can ramble long enough to submit this. From now on, I'll just pretend the second and third movies never existed, and enjoy the first movie, which was actually very good.
Tears of the Sun (2003)
Eh....
This is just typical Bruce Willis, action movie schtick. Watch it with some popcorn and your buddies. Rent it, to save money.
None of it is realistic. The battles aren't realistic. The soldiers aren't realistic. The victims aren't realistic. And why was Tom Skerritt's character talking to Willis from the DECK OF THE CARRIER? What's up with that? He can't do that from inside the ship?
Of course, Bruce W. gets a machete wound. There's a bunch of average explosions.
If this movie accurately represents the Navy SEALS, then don't get stuck in Africa expecting them to come rescue you!
The noble attack on the village bothered me the most. "Front row seats to an ethnic cleansing"...as Bruce looks at the slaughter going on in town. So what does he do? He crawls into town on his belly. Yep. How many died while they were putzing around? Oh well...a body count was needed, I guess.
And if that one African guy was so important, why didn't he get on the chopper with the elderly and children? Can he say "Duh?"
Finally, the movie was very dark. Not just in plot, but so much happens at night it was difficult to make out what was going on.
Rent it.
The Thin Red Line (1998)
Remember - this is a terrible movie.
I have been monitoring the comments on IMDB since this movie was released. This movie is so terrible that I feel it is my moral obligation to continue to post reminders.
You have been warned. It's three hours of YOUR life that you will NEVER, EVER get back. Don't do it!
Signs (2002)
Boring....
Wow, what a boring and dreadful surprise. From what everyone has been saying, I'd been let to believe this movie was a thriller. It was not. I was bored out of my mind. What a GREAT WAY to manipulate an audience.
I could understand HALF of what Bo, the little girl, had to say. She mumbles too much. When it was revealed that Merrill set the home run distance record in the minor leagues and "still has the bat at home", it was OBVIOUS that this bat would be used as a weapon later on in the film.
The dialogue wasn't realistic, it was contrived. The tension was contrived. Why are these aliens fighting with their bare hands? If they are so afraid of water, why don't they wear a water-proof outfit? Duh. I guess this is a film for stupid viewers.
If you go to the movies to be entertained, skip this one. Don't even rent it.
Office Space (1999)
Awesome
I laughed so hard I had to keep pausing the movie. This movie has so much office humor in that if you work in a cubicle it's a MUST SEE! I was hooked on it 30 seconds into it. Maybe we'll get lucky and they make a sequel!
The Powerpuff Girls Movie (2002)
Awful!
I'm actually a fan of the Powerpuff Girls because my daughters watch the cartoon in the morning on the kitchen TV while I cook breakfast. It's funny and entertaining. The movie was neither. It was dark, mean, and very boring. I was disappointed in this movie (but I'll never tell my kids).
Lilo & Stitch (2002)
Awful
This movie is terrible. There was very little real humor, and far too much violence. The animation is bad, the characters are bad...frankly, I neither liked nor cared about any of them. And I couldn't figure out Stitch at all. Skip it.
Scooby-Doo (2002)
The kids liked it...
I took the kids to see this. The theater was packed with families just like mine. They all seemed to enjoy it, which was the point, right? Anyway, it's basically a live-action version of any of the Scooby-Doo cartoon movies (which I have seen because of my children!).
If you have kids, take them to this movie. If you don't watch Scooby-Doo on Cartoon Network and don't have kids, then skip it.
Also, Daphne was apparently replaced by "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
Rules of Engagement (2000)
Worth it for two scenes
I liked the initial battle when the marines wasted the armed crowd. 83 dead and 100 wounded sounds a bit excessive...but what the heck? Samuel L. Jackson was good for his "getting mad in the courtroom" scene. Otherwise, the movie wasn't really that good. There's even post-scripts saying what happened to the other characters - as if this was a true story! Who cares?
Oh, and I laughed during the scene where Skokal threatens the ambassador's career. He was the ambassador to YEMEN!!! What kind of career is THAT? "Oh, watch out or your career as an ambassador to back-water cess-pools is over." Yeah, sure. I'd have replied "Punish me by making me stay here and eat real food."
Ice Age (2002)
Nice flick
My family enjoyed Ice Age. It seemed to have some similarity to Shrek, with the big powerful guy not wanting to be bothered by the crazy sidekick. Shrek is more entertaining. The animation in Ice Age was astounding - pretty soon, we won't need actors anymore!
Snow Dogs (2002)
Stupid
This movie was just stupid. I didn't find a single thing humorous in the entire film. Now, my wife and seven year old daughter laughed a lot. My six year old daughter and I snuck out a couple of times to get candy to stay awake!
We Were Soldiers (2002)
A bit preachy
I liked this movie, but it WAS a bit preachy. The scene about "You can't wash your colored clothes at the laundrymat because the sign says 'Whites Only' had me squirming in my seat - because it was so STUPID." But the action was good.
Not as good as Black Hawk Down. And it's in tribute to both the Americans AND North Vietnamese who died there. What's up with that? Let them make their own movie...
John Q (2002)
Liberal preach-fest
This movie is so far to the left that it loses all credibility. There's even a "Who's Who" line-up of left-wing liberals in this movie!
Skip it.
Hart's War (2002)
Great, until the ending!
This movie really worked for me (despite it being historically inaccurate). It setup the story and characters well, and I cared about what was going to happen. Then - BAM - let's make Josh Harnett the hero. NO WAIT, let's make Bruce Willis the UBER-HERO! For what? What a cop-out. They should have had the courage to end the movie the right way.
Collateral Damage (2002)
Worst Arnold film...
I *LIKE* Arnold's action flicks...but this is his worst. Worse than Commando. Forget the "How did he do that?" and "How did the terrorists know that?"....I can accept it in an Arnold film. But this is just bad. Rent it, but don't waste time at the movie theater.
Black Hawk Down (2001)
Helped understand the book more
My comment will be quick. I read the book a year ago and found it interesting, but had difficulty keeping track of what was happening in the different locations. This movie helped clear that up for me.
The movie is extremely faithful to the book. I watched a History channel show on this battle featuring the actually soldiers, and some of the descriptions they gave appear word for word in the movie. One thing different I noticed was it appears in the movie that Capt. Steele a the wounded are occupying a single building. In the book, they tried to move but were pinned down and the Captain was isolated from most of his men for the night. Other than that, everything in the movie is straight from the book.
Yes, this is a good movie. See it.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Good thing the holidays are slow for me.
I'm going to have to go back and change all my votes for other movies on IMDB.COM so this movie is rated in the proper perspective.
I'll try to say something different than the usual "it was great", "best movie", "blah blah blah"...which is all true, by the way.
My favorite part of the film is...I'm having a difficult time here....how about the fight at Amon Hen. Yeah, at the end of the movie. That whole scene was beyone thrilling. FYI - don't p*** off Aragorn.
And I really felt sorry for Frodo. It seems everybody wants to kill him for some reason. He gets beat up, stabbed, almost eaten/drowned, chased, grabbed, shot at, run over....and this poor guy has two movies to go!
As for it following the books....no film can exactly duplicate a book. So if you're going to have a hang up over it then you'd better get over it. Judge the film on it's own.