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Reviews
The Wild Thornberrys (1998)
Unappealing and ignorant
"The Wild Thornberrys" starts out with a classic premise: a human who can talk to animals. While this works for Disney heroines and Doctor Dolittle, putting it in a setting that attempts to be more "genuine" (as "Thornberrys" appears to be doing) takes a little more work.
The producers of this show haven't done that work. It tries feebly to present an educational and environmentally aware viewpoint, but the end product is painfully clueless about the wildlife it celebrates. Most of the animals on the show are wildly inaccurate, and the main character (who ostensibly studies animals in great depth) is completely ignorant about them. In addition, these animals are stereotyped by human standards of "good" and "evil," with predators who aren't pretty or popular almost invariably landing in the second category. Coming from the creative minds behind "Rugrats" and "Aah! Real Monsters," "The Wild Thornberrys" is an extreme disappointment.
Dungeons & Dragons (2000)
Goofy. Slightly stupid. Fun nonetheless.
This movie is about what one would expect from a wacky adventure with a somewhat narrow market. The plot is more or less standard, but you forget that while you're watching it and only reflect on the slightly hackneyed script later. It's compelling enough to suck you in and politely simple enough to make it accessible to both diehard D&Ders and people with only the vaguest knowledge of high fantasy. The (non-)ending was a definite letdown, but it was really the only part that just didn't fit. 7 out of 10.
Hollow Man (2000)
Sheer torture (SPOILERS)
I used to pride myself on the fact that I'd never paid theater price to see an absolutely hideous movie. I've rented a lot of clunkers, but but never had to endure one on the big screen.
Well, my record's shot.
If you go to this movie for just the special effects, you'll be satisfied. If you go for special effects and breasts, this will be your ideal movie. If you go for special effects, breasts, and as many ways as possible to get full frontal Kevin Bacon nudity without having a flesh-and-blood naked guy on screen, you'll be in seventh heaven. Plot? There is none. Scientist turns himself invisible, goes on a killing rampage, and survives being beaten over the head, set on fire, and blown up, only to die by being beaten over the head, set on fire, and blown up. Oh, did I mention the plot holes the size of the main character's ego? By the end, my friends and I were falling out of our seats laughing because it was so unbelievably horrible. We're all non-science-oriented teenagers, and even we could pick out an unholy number of medical inaccuracies in nearly every scene. The characters are so dull you forget their names halfway through the film, and judging by the way they handled the crisis, they're genetic-research idiots savant. If you're really desperate for something to do over the weekend, find something less painful than this movie. Hit yourself in the head with a board or something.
Daria (1997)
An acid-tongued look at high school...
...and one I can actually relate to! This is what high school is like for those of us who aren't in the "in-crowd" and don't want to be. Daria's caustic wit and brutal honesty are both refreshing and amusing as she struggles through life among brain-dead students and power-mad faculty, but there's more to her than that. She displays true personality as a well-rounded character with many aspects. The humor and humanity behind this show are not to be missed!
Frequency (2000)
A movie that strikes deep and stays with you
Changing the past to affect the future may not be a new concept in film, but "Frequency" handles it deftly and with heart. The acting is superb, and as far as I can tell the plot is nearly airtight. It keeps you on your toes as the story twists in what feels like six directions at once and keeps you in emotional sync with the characters. The past/present connections are stirring and intriguing, especially the single-flash cuts at pivotal moments. This is one of the few movies about which I can honestly say, "I laughed, I cried, I was scared stupid." Truly the only good movie so far this year.
Galaxy Quest (1999)
An affectionate nod to fans of all walks
Never seen "Star Trek"? See this movie anyway! While "Galaxy Quest" certainly parodies the classic sci-fi series, its appeal is more universal than that. If you have ever been a serious fan of anything, especially something of the fantasy/sci-fi genre, the film will strike a chord for you. Every fandom knows is own Brandons, Kyles, and romantics, and the greatest pleasure for me was recognizing these traits in people I know. The humor ranges from kiddie slapstick to subtle in-jokes and rich facial acting, offering something for everyone. But behind the laughter and the fantastic plot are honest, human characters with real quirks and faults that make them all the more endearing. Even the obsessive fans have personality that goes beyond their character type. These are people you would easily expect to meet on the street, and I for one would love to do so.
Legend (1985)
Are fantasy fans that desperate?
I hate to say it about something coming out of such an ignored genre that I love so much, but this was pure tripe. The American version looks like nothing more than the cobbled-together Frankenstein monster that it is, and I can only pray that the European one was better. Tim Curry is completely wasted in any "creepy" role if you obscure his eyes, and they did. While the prologue hints at some sort of universal balance, it is never achieved. The ending is an open non-conclusion and hints terrifyingly at the possibility of a sequel. The music seems to try to be like "The Neverending Story", but never achieves the same level. And whose idea was it to use whale sounds for the unicorns? It may have sounded pretty on its own, but in the film it's jarring and unnecessary. And I beg of Hollywood, never *ever* put Tom Cruise in another fantasy epic! I wish I could say something in coherent paragraph form about this movie, but it doesn't deserve the effort.
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Quite possibly the best horror film in years
No doubt about it, "The Sixth Sense" is the best horror movie I've seen since the original "Poltergeist." The plot is deceptively simple -- a kid who sees ghosts -- but the movie goes so much deeper than that. It's an allegory for all our nameless fears that we have to fight alone because nobody else shares them.
Besides the plot, multiple other elements come into play in making "The Sixth Sense" the sensation that it is. The acting is superb on all ends. Haley Joel Osment plays Cole with an impressively haunted maturity, and Bruce Willis stays out of his way. And for such relatively small parts, the ghosts give off near-visible auras of otherworldly anger and fear.
The other main element in the psychological terror behind the movie is how it attempts to instill fear in the audience. Transcending flashing lights and computer-generated wraiths, "The Sixth Sense" goes instead for suggestions of cold and some sharp makeup effects. And not to be forgotten is the score, which chilled me deeper than most of the visual elements.
One thing that everyone wants to talk about is the ending. While I won't reveal it here, suffice it to say that I had made dozens of guesses about what the surprise twist could be, and I could not have been more wrong. It completely knocked me off my feet. In short, "The Sixth Sense" is a must-see for anyone who likes a well-thought-out thriller. If it doesn't leave you stricken, impressed, and a little scared the next time you're alone in the dark, you may already have crossed over.