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Reviews
The Phantom (2009)
The Phantom cannot die... but can he survive this?
Not even twenty minutes into the two-hour opening, you can tell. The plot is filled with every trite cliché in the book. The music is near-constant, often at unnecessary volume, always underlining and highlighting what is already perfectly obvious. That goes for everything - the acting, the lighting, the camera angles, the villains, the plot points (such as they are), the characterizations - all painfully overdone. I don't even usually notice lighting or directing choices, but this isn't just unsubtle - it's obtrusive.
Except for the romance angle. That's added in on a perfunctory level. So much so that it seems creepy how quickly the pair falls into undying, almost stalkerish love.
As shown in the trailer, the new Phantom dismisses the traditional costume. Which turns out to be symbolic of the entire show's attitude towards the character. (And even that observation is more subtle than anything in the show.) The word "Phantom" isn't even spoken until the second hour. The Skull Cave (also as seen in the trailer) is now an entire complex with a huge staff, the base of operations of an international organization.
Oh, and Bengala is now an island somewhere in Indonesia, populated by surprisingly light-skinned people.
The change in costume is supposedly because the series is going for realism. A "realism" which includes windows made of sugar glass, people who take grievous wounds in utter silence, and over-the-top super tech.
I was excited about the return of the Phantom. He's a character with so much potential. But this... is unrecognizable and unwatchable. Whether you love the Phantom or have never heard of him... steer clear.
Independence Day (1996)
Misunderstood comedy
I saw this movie in theaters when it first came out. I got the sense that most of the people watching with me were cursing themselves for wasting five bucks and two hours.
I, however, was struggling to contain my laughter at what was one of the best comedies of that summer.
The lines are corny. The people are caricatures. The acting is over-the-top. The plot is full of giant holes and even bigger clichés. And yet, somehow, the people on the screen seem to be taking it all seriously. It's hilarious. The only thing that could possibly make it better would be the MST3K crew... but they'd almost be redundant.
In short: It's so laughably bad, it's actually good.
To make it even better, the action sequences and visual effects (particularly by the standards of the time) are pretty good.
If you're looking for a serious Sci-Fi disaster movie, don't bother.
If you're looking for an overtly funny parody of a Sci-Fi action movie starring Will Smith... Go watch MIB.
If you're looking for more subtle humor in which the entire cast collectively acts as the straight man, spiced with some pretty cool giant explosions, see ID4. And get ready to laugh!
Wing Commander (1999)
it's ok...
the movie was about what i expected... they obviously blew the entire budget on effects. amusingly, wc 3 and wc 4 (the games) had better casts than the movie (Freddie Pinze Jr vs Mark Hammil, Mathew Lillard vs Thomas "Biff Tannon" Wilson, Tchéky Karyo vs John Rhys-Davies, and David Warner vs Malcolm McDowell).
the plot had some holes, the most dramatic moments came off as cheesy, and there were a few continuity issues with the games that will probably bother the more avid fans (skipper missles being used before the first game, even though they weren't introduced until wc2, bossman being dead before blair sets foot on the tiger's claw, etc).
on the upside, the special effects were pretty good. a few years ago (before the rise of mass numbers of special effects movies) i would have considered them outstanding. the fighters (almost entirely rapiers, and a few broadswords) have a wonderfully unique "world war 1 in space" feel. the rapiers, however, look uncannily similar to A-10 Thunderbolt II "Tankkiller" "Warthogs."
the best review i've heard came from a kid as we were leaving the theater. he was having trouble articulating himself, but finally settled on something like "that was the coolest humans vs futuristic aliens movie i've ever seen!"
basically, if you're looking for a fun mindless (and that is a very important word) space combat movie, this is a good choice. if you want a better cast, a better plot, and some interaction, skip the movie and get yourself a copy of one of the games.