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Reviews
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Oh God, help me...
I know, I know...everyone loves this movie. Everyone loved the last movie too, right? Other than myself, I have only found 2 other people that did not enjoy the first of the LOTR trilogy. I went into the second one with high hopes - I mean, I disliked the first one to such an extent that I was SURE I would enjoy this one more. I was right! But just barely!
With apologies to everyone who liked the film (and please remember, this is my opinion, you can have yours...), I found the film to be slightly painful. I don't know why! I can't fathom my not liking these movies. Maybe I found it too long. Maybe I found the fighting scenes to be disjointed and uninspiring. Maybe I don't like the numerous scenes involving wilted dialogue and sub-par acting. Maybe it was the seeming attempt at making it a huge, long movie so that it would be considered an epic. I just don't understand why I don't like the first two movies of the trilogy so far.
For my money, the original Star Wars trilogy trumps this one. Yes, that one had a lot of lame elements, in retrospect (the stupid Ewoks almost ruined it all, no?). It's lonely not liking a blockbuster movie. I'd almost rather watch the Matrix, and believe me, I hated that movie too. Sorry! If you liked The Two Towers, I'm happy for you! Just don't bring me. Please. Please? Please???
Under One Roof (1995)
WHAT IS THIS?
I stumbled upon this show one night, expecting to watch the great Married With Children, not knowing that the channel had replaced Al Bundy with...with...with this garbage! It even goes beyond the "so bad it's funny" level...this is so bad, it almost made me cry.
National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)
Wally's World! Wally's World! HYUK!
I remember watching this movie as a young teenager and rolling around on the floor laughing. Since that first viewing, I have (a) managed to get the movie on tape and (b) nearly ruined the tape by watching it over and over and over again. Is there any doubt that for a ten year period, Chevy Chase was the funniest man alive? I think I'll go watch the Three Amigos now...
Back to the Future (1985)
"Lorraine...I am your density"
Just for the scenes at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance give this movie immense rewatchableness (I just made that word up). References to 50's music and culture, the clothes, the incredible one-liners...wow! Michael J. Fox - Make BttF 4 before it's too late!
Fight Club (1999)
Ed Norton - need I say more?
Ok, I DO need to say more. From Brad Pitt and Ed Norton on down through all the characters, including Meat Loaf, this movie thrilled me with its catchy soundtrack, editing, dialogue and, yes, violence. Call me a pig if you will, but the fight scenes really got me going. It didn't make me want to go outside and pound someone into the pavement, but it shocked me with its realism. I found this movie to be at turns hilarious, sad and thought-provoking. Yes, I said thought-provoking. I don't think it's too big of a stretch to say this could be a soul-searching type of movie. But hey, why over-analyze? Get the DVD and watch the track with commentary by Fincher, Pitt and Norton. Laugh and enjoy. 10/10!
Entrapment (1999)
Very disappointing...
This could have, and should have been a good movie. Unfortunately, it was very disappointing. Sean Connery just seemed too old for this role; the movie's trailers also lied about it being an action movie - the plot was slow-moving for more than an hour. While the action was good at the end, it was too little, too late. Catherine Zeta-Jones ALMOST made it worth it, but overall, I'd say it was a 6/10.
eXistenZ (1999)
BETTER THAN THE MATRIX!
Ok, for all of you who went to see The Matrix, you have to see eXistenZ, which is a much, much better sci-fi thriller. This one delivers on the basis of interesting plot and twists and turns. While this movie was a little short, and you could guess how it would end, what happens in the middle is quite surprising, and unexpected. A good movie - 8/10!
The Matrix (1999)
DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY!
Ok, so it's the number one movie right now, but WHY?????? Why did I think this movie was cheap and worthless, and deserving of my mediocre vote? (a 3, btw)
1. The acting was atrocious! Keanu, YOU'RE NOT IN BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE ANYMORE! SNAP OUT OF IT! Fishburne was a robot, and carrie-anne moss was terrible! 2. The storyline was not very impressive...it was just a little from Invasion of the Body Snatchers, a little from Planet of the Apes, and a little from every cheap B sci-fi flick ever made! 3. Where were the impressive special effects the trailers were promising? What, the slo-mo bullets? Nothing that hasn't been done a million times by John Woo! 4. That karate sequence between Reeves and Fishburne - how cheesy was that?
My advice is, stop being a bunch of sheep, and don't go watch this movie! It really does stink! You're better off going out to rent a few Brat Pack movies instead!