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Reviews
Bless the Child (2000)
Worse than I ever thought Possible
Before I saw this film, I'd never heard of it. When I got to the cinema, I thought I'd try my luck with the unknown and hopefully be pleasantly surprised.
On seeing the names 'Kim Bassinger' and 'Jimmy Smits' in the opening credits - I almost made a bolt for the door. Unfortunately, I stayed. It turned out to be the worst movie that I have ever been to at a cinema. Perhaps in 50 years time, people will be talking about it in the same vein as 'Plan 9 from Outer Space.'
As far as woefulness goes - this film had everything:
- A terrible, terrible script with more clichés than you can poke a stick at (sorry)
- Boring, shallow characters: made worse by embarrassingly inept acting (to be expected from Bassinger but surely Christina Ricci can do better!)
- Pathetic visual effects
- Pointless, brainless, talentless, lifeless script (just to emphasise the point!).
My advice to anyone thinking of seeing this film is to go with a group of friends. You will then have a great time outwitting each other with wisecracks. Otherwise - save your money and stay home.
The General's Daughter (1999)
Let's play 'Count the plot holes.'
If you can believe that any group of soldiers would be stupid enough to gang rape the daughter of a famous general and expect to get away with it; you shouldn't have too much trouble believing that they do. I for one didn't buy it. This film is big on irrelevant window-dressing (the arms deal, the tension with the local police, the ex-relationship between the two main characters etc) that are a lame attempt to conceal the total lack of motivation for any of the characters (especially the Timothy Dalton's character) to carry out their actions.
Les Misérables (1998)
If you can't do something right, don't do it at all!
It's not possible to watch this film objectively if you've read Hugo's masterpiece. The creators of this flop obviously had no understanding of the characters and barely included many of them at all. Eponine wasn't anywhere to be seen, Thenardier, Gavroche and the priest were only token inclusions and the death of Gavroche doesn't move us at all because we hardly know who he is. Marius is changed from a shy and reclusive young man into the daring leader of the revolution, Cosette to a painful teenager. They couldn't even get Valjean right as they didn't understand that he would never slap Cosette or smash Javert's head into a wall. The portrayal of Javert and Fantine are the only redeeming features of this mess.
Deep Impact (1998)
Fantastic
This is with out a doubt one of the best disaster movies ever made. I think that the reason a lot of people didn't enjoy it is that they expected or even hoped for a brainless action extravaganza. But what they got was a thoughtful, well structured and in depth film more about how people would really react in the face of an impending disaster.
What I really liked was how officials such as the US President and other officials weren't bumbling fools and the heroes weren't macho idiots as in the pathetic "Armageddon". I got the feeling that the script was true to how things would really happen if something like this occured in real life.
Armageddon (1998)
A total no-brainer
If you're the kind of person who can leave your brain at the door when you watch a film, then you might like this one. Personally, I thought the effects were good, the acting mediocre and the story line pathetic.