Reviews

The 3-D Vision "Wildcat Women" would give even the most astute spectator a difficult time comprehending its plot direction. In summary, a young black girl's (who mysteriously shafeshifts throughout "key" moments)uncle is murdered by a group of hoodlums, headed by an Asian man named "Buddha," who is more of a foreigned stereotype than an actor. She and her friends seek the help of a black radical, whom uses his abilities to disguise himself to help the girls out. Stop! The rest of the film is mostly indecipherable, with random and minimal insertions of sex scenes (hilariously flawed continuity)as well as a cheesy finale, with blood that most closely resembles that of breakfast condiments. I was growing irritable of the way my 3-D glasses kept unfolding a popping off, as I usually do. But it is one thing to watch a "3-Dized" print of Casablanca and a piece of trash like this. The only appeal of "Wildcat Women" is its blatant use of racist rhetoric, and a few frank one-liners, such as, "I was gettin' jealous at first, but now I wouldn't mind a three-some" (one of the black villians who after sleeping with the black girl whom seeks revenge goes into an adjacent room and spots a hot young white girl). Poor editing, atrocious plot/character development, and dialogue the mentally insane wouldn't find pleasing constitute "Wildcat Women." Advice to the filmmakers on their next outing (unlikely to happen)- include much more sex and take advantage of 3-D vision, having a character comment on how thirsty he is and thrusting a soda in the direction of the camera 5-6 times is not originality. Also, please don't petition Laemlles Theatre on Sunset to screen anymore of your films, I'm always dragged out there by my friend Jon, and end up paying $7.00 for nothingness.

This one is more appropriately titled, "The Frogs That Wanted a King." Probably one of the more spectacular animated shorts I've seen, as a land full of frogs look to find unity and peace in their environment by asking God (looks like Zeus in this one)for a king. God gives them something alright, but in turn, the reproachful frogs criticize God for what he sent down. God rises in anger and reacts by bestowing the land of frogs with a king that proves to be more of a supernatural Hitler than anything else! Great fun, this political allegory hits it right on the mark. Ladislaw is incredible, and you don't have to buy all his shorts in separate installments. There is one DVD that will do the trick.

Police State was directed, starred, edited, and produced by Cinema of Transgression founder Nick Zedd. Now while Nick Zedd does not even remotely appeal to mainstream interests, he does enthral a minute portion of viewers with his aptitude for rebellion, never succumbing to that external sentiment he does not contend with. Police State is about 18 minutes, yet it does pack a powerful punch, a kind of punch that might knock your 80 year old grandma out for the count. I will not unveil all of the film's content, but I must say that this is low budget punk idealism at its best, and here Police are portrayed as the cowards and sanctimonious pigs that they are. The quality and resolution is probably not up to par with what your use to, but that shouldn't matter, because if you even have the gall to run a search on Nick Zedd, you probably don't care if the film has one dose of meaning, just to see ego-inflated cops belittled is enough for consistent entertainment.

Femme Fontaine: Killer Babe for the C.I.A is at the best a fun film. The film definitely has a TROMAIC feel to it, but that isn't always great. I like the two Nazi Lesbian Girls in a great sex scene. And also, Femme Fontaine is quite sexy herself. But to give it to you plain and simple, the film is fun because we like sexy girls sticking up for themselves and taking on the Underworld. And when we see Fontaine out there, we like to tell ourselves, "Damn, if only i could get my hands on her, i would show her who's boss!" Well, at least the sane ones.

The Buddha Assassinator is part of the Shaolin Dolemite Kung Fu series. The original Dolemite films starred Rudy Ray Moore with a blend of humor, clumsy kung fu, and recycled one liners. Moore does not star in The Buddha Assassinator, but he presents the film in ornate and bad-ass fashion as only he can. The film goes nowhere with its plot, and it seems as if the director was trying to poke fun of traditional Eastern Kung Fu film making (just like Woody Allen). With Asian Kung Fu masters saying things like, "I'm gonna jack you up" and "Uncle, your feet smell" only add to the film's perverse comical fashion. The fight sequences are a step down from even films made by the Eastern Heroes film company, and on a different planet than those of Bruce Lee and Sonny Chiba. Anyhow, this film is great for midnight viewing and nonstop laughter.

This is a stunning film in every aspect. A skilled fighter comes to China in order to find a paying job, and is befriended by a coward of a fighter. He and his coward friend somehow help save a Chinese ruler from assassination. They are rewarded jobs in his kingdom and help slay off several archrival Japanese fighters. The Japanese warlord hires four interesting fighters- A master with the knives, a fat Jap with a sword, a black kickboxer, and an acrobatic fighter. The Chinese must take on these fighters and many other Japanese. This film is funny, entertaining, and quite possibly the greatest unknown Martial Arts film ever.

This is the worst David Lynch directed film or TV series in existence. There are three different episodes to this horrific video, all revolving around the same hotel room. The three different episodes are set in different times, spanning from the 1940's to the 1990's. Harry Dean Stanton stars in the first and probably the best out of the three. This episode is the strongest of the three, with all the usual twists and turns that you have come to expect out of David Lynch. But the next episode is a horrible hybrid of a day soap opera and any theatre-bound 90's mainstream dark-humored film that we have grown accustom to loathe. Halfway through the last episode I decided enough was enough and ejected the tape while condemning this god-awful movie to Haiti. I hated this film and my favorite film is Blue Velvet. Go figure.

I enjoyed this classic Japanese vs. Chinese Kung Fu battle of a film. A Chinese general and his son are the targets of a Japanese Ninja planned assassination plot. The general's son finds the "Master of the Three Arts" who has trained three brothers in three different arts to perfection. The general's son uses these three brothers to help fight the Japanese ninjas who attempted to kill the Chinese honchos by poisoning them, throwing knives at them, and every thing else. I love the three brothers and how they work into the film. Check it out!

Fans of Sonny Chiba and Bruce Lee may not find this movie to be their pride and joy, but will probably find it enjoyable nevertheless. Iron Monkey is set in Manchuria, and is made by Eastern Heroes Video Company. This fact alone would turn me off from the movie, because of the extremely conservative fight scenes (no decapitation). There is no gore, unlike the Street Fighter, and there is not that certain charm that Bruce Lee gives to his films. But somehow this film was able to please me through many well done fight sequences and a strong ending.

Cry Uncle is a fine piece of filmmaking. For those of you familiar with Troma video and all the junk it puts out, this is not a normal Troma film! In fact, this is the direct antithesis of a Troma film! Allen Garfield is a detective who is hired by a man being blackmailed by the women he acted with in a porno video. The movie includes acid freak outs, b/w porno video scenes, and a great necrophilia scene. Garfield was also in a bunch of other softcore films like Orgy Girls and Roommates. Nevertheless, check this film out.