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The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Such a Disappointment
"Granted, you can't give us the same sense of wonder that we had with the first film."
This is the statement I've heard from many people and, having just watched the movie myself, I agree with this sentiment entirely. The film seems to lack solid direction on many fronts and is not really watchable in of itself, unlike many other trilogy "middles."
Whereas the first film had characters that evolved throughout the film, the characters in this film do not. They are given simple fortune cookie dialogue answers which they then go about and repeat to the other characters and so everyone instantly changes. This dialogue, although not as bad as any line in your average Crichton film, is so terse and ultimately useless to the audience as everyone does just repeat what is truly fortune cookie zen blather based on silly events and analogies. What was present just enough to be hip and interesting in The Matrix is now omni-present, filling virtually every line of the movie that is not directly about sex or a threat. This would be forgiveable if it did not so suddenly disrupt the flow of the movie, bringing events to a sudden jarring and unforgivable halt as we watch dialogue of the nature of man's existence provoked by, of course, orgasmic cake. I wish I were making this up, but unfortunately for viewers I am not. In any movie where the audience laughs at the cheesiness of the dialog is in trouble, but after four years of waiting I really expected more from a script.
That brings me to the other chief complaint with this film: it isn't really a film. In other trilogies, there are of course "hooks" given in the film which go intentionally unresolved. However, there are issues that do get solved in the movie you watched so that you leave the film feeling that the heroes, although they have work yet to do, have at least accomplished something. With Reloaded, almost nothing is resolved, to the point where you wonder why some things made it into the movie at all. (Example: Link's family problems. We spend too many scenes finding out that his wife doesn't like him with Morpheus, particularly for such a minor character. That's all we find out, not resolution whatsoever to it.) The heroes resolve nothing at the end of the film, which was why two of the three audiences I saw it with booed at the end of the film. The story is wholly incomplete, and ultimately very unsatisfying. I left the theater feeling that, instead of having watched a film, be it part of any trilogy or stand-alone, that I was conned into paying full price for what only amount to an Act Two. In the Act two of a play, nothing is resolved but instead the conflict is better explored and the situation made dire. This is not the usual course for a movie trilogy "second film," which instead has historically (and correctly) been essentially a three act play that fulfilled the larger Act Two role instead of being only that, the setup to a conflict without any resolution, big or small.
If the Wachowski brothers have an artistic vision they feel the need to express in two films beyond The Matrix (which did have its hooks but also stood alone as a real film), that is absolutely fine. However, if they expect me to pay for dissatisfaction, which is what they offer, then that is not fine. I spent four long years waiting for this film, and I couldn't have been more excited. Reloaded has left me fundamentally betrayed and I will be happy never to support the Wachowski Brothers again.
The Lone Gunmen (2001)
Unwatchable Disappointment
As a fan of the X-Files for several years, I was very excited about the premiere of this show. However, ten minutes into the first episode, I found it to be nearly unwatchable. What had made the Lone Gunmen so great in the X-Files is that they were a bunch of goofy guys in a totally bleak setting. They were foils, used to lighten the tension. However, in this show there is no darkness to contrast with the sophomoric humor presented here. Most of the jokes are bad puns and physical sight gags that anyone over the age of twelve will see right through, which makes viewing this show an exercise in pain-tolerance. We may just have to face the fact that Chris Carter has run his course in television, producing this and a tragically forgettable season of the X-Files in the same year.
Shen quan da zhan kuai qiang shou (1977)
The pinnacle of Chop-socky Kung-Fu
This is the most brilliant piece of kung-fu rubbish I've ever seen. Horrible dubbing, such as how the japanese refer to the country of "Chiner" and the 5 sound effects used in the movie all add up to a delightful movie experience. It is without a doubt the most stirring actor-driven emotional drama I have ever seen. Plus, the more people you have, the more fun it gets! I totally recommend it!
Mission: Impossible II (2000)
Summer's best let-down
First off, bring a book or a gun or something to the movie. It doesn't get remotely interesting for the first half of the movie at all, focusing on a relationship and some other crap that doesn't belong in Mission: Impossible and certainly not in a John Woo film. Then stuff finally happens and you get your money's worth. Then why is it a let-down? With the action genre's heightened expectations because of THE MATRIX and because of the director, John Woo, I and many others were expecting no less than the best action movie ever. Instead, we got just run of the mill action with tired sequences. Yes, there are a few good stunts and it's surprising to see Cruise do as many as he did. However, the last fight between Ambrose and Hunt was dull and predictable, which is a horrible way to end a movie. If you want to see a good action flick, then rent a much better Woo film, HARD-BOILED. That's some of the best, most memorable action ever. MI:2 wasn't. End of story.
Shanghai Noon (2000)
Rush Hour in Nevada
I found this to be a completely entertaining film. It is more or less a remake of Rush Hour set in the Old West, and you can tell some scenes are almost grabbed from Rush Hour line by line. That being said, it finds plenty of material that is new and fresh and Owen Wilson is a riot. The jokes are great and the action is good. If you enjoyed Rush Hour, I highly encourage you to go see this as well.
The Kids in the Hall (1988)
Most Brilliant Sketch Comedy Known to Man
This is a short comment merely because words fail to describe the awesome comedic force that was "The Kids in the Hall". Even now, I prefer watching reruns of the show that are occasionally found on TV over the stale humor of SNL and other sketch comedy. Indeed, once you've seen KITH, you never want to see anything else.
The Thirteenth Floor (1999)
The little Movie that couldn't.
Fans of sci-fi existentialism movies, go watch The Matrix. Fans of long "dramas" (this movie is a drama simply for the lack of comedy, not for any substantial dramatic appeal) then the Thirteenth Floor is your movie. Although the actors in this try their hardest, the iron boundaries of the stale and tedious script hold them back. Characters that either are too unexplained, or are simply too uninteresting fill the screen while the plot goes nowhere fast. A man is killed. Does the main character care? Who knows? He's too busy doing else that is either trivial or dull. Hopefully you'll be doing something else besides watching this too.
Wild Wild West (1999)
Men in Black 2 without the funny parts
Directed by Barry Sonnenfield, also from Men in Black, Wild Wild West takes the movie and sets it back a hundred or so years. Unfortunately, it also sets back the careers of all those involved with this movie. Starring the sorely underutilized Kevin Kline and the always unversatile Will Smith, the humor in this movie is not-existent. However, since I am not in this movie's apparent audience age of 4-8 years old, I found this film to be an exercise in patience. If you about 8 years old, you'll be able to appreciate a few of the jokes and humor in this movie. Otherwise, seek entertainment elsewhere and just rent Men in Black again.
The Warriors (1979)
A True Classic!
This movie rocks! The Clown baseball gangs, the big gang meetings, it's all there. The cool radio voice lady, the park, it all combines for an unforgettable movie! I definitely recommend this if your cult is looking for a new classic!