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Reviews
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)
The BIGGEST pile of dog @#$% ever to hit the mainstream.
I saw this movie more than ten years ago, and I remember next to nothing about it, besides coming away with the certain feeling that I had just seen one of the worst travesties ever committed to film. And bear in mind, folks - I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP - this film was co-written by none other than Roger Ebert, a man who dares to tell us which films are worth watching and which are not!
If you absolutely must see this one, grab the popcorn and as much soda and other junk food as you can handle, and get yourself ready to mercilessly mock it with a slew of insults. Prepare for this waste of time by watching a lot of "Mystery Science Theater 3000". That way you can practice your insult skills along with the pros. After watching (and insulting) the movie itself, have something good to watch on hand so you can flush this garbage from your brain. Personally, I recommend another round of "MST3K". Continue scrubbing your brain until you feel clean again. And that's all I have to say about that.
Batman Begins (2005)
Absolutely fantastic! This is the happiest I have ever been with a Batman film!
A VERY impressive effort by Christopher Nolan and David S. Goyer. For starters it's much, much closer to the comics. Also, Michael Keaton is now the second best Batman ever. Val Kilmer is a respectable third, and George Clooney, God bless him, places a not-so-solid fourth (too cocky, too much swagger, qualities unbecoming a true Batman). Don't get me started on the ridiculous Adam West.
(Ahem...) Now, about the movie itself. It's appropriately dark (and mind you, much too violent and scary for the kiddies), which I liked very much. Batman, as a character, has always been more appropriate for adults and teens anyway. They finally got the target audience right. Comics, like cartoons, aren't always kid-friendly. And the villains were just about spot-on representations of their comic book selves, with a very satisfying twist for Ra's Al Ghul. I was initially disappointed in the apparent casting choice for him, but the writer and director managed to pleasantly surprise me toward the end. Overall, the casting was top-notch (hats off and kudos to the casting director). I have to disagree with the notion that Katie Holmes is too young for her part. I have personally seen A.D.A.'s who are that young; very ambitious and driven people, they are.
As for the action sequences, I believe they were designed to mimic for the audience the confusion and bewilderment that the criminals experience. That is why they were edited that way. I do want to see more open and sweeping fight sequences in the future, though.
My only real disappointments are two-fold: the Batmobile and Ra's Al Ghul's (possible?) fate. Let's start with the car. It's just too bulky! It's a good start, but I expect a much sleeker look out of the Batmobile. I believe that in the next film, they can and should make it so, while retaining the tank-like capabilities which made it so impressive in this one. Overall though, it was a lot better than the previews made it look (it's unexpectedly agile for such a hulking behemoth!).
Now, back to Ra's Al Ghul. His apparent demise at the end was not met with enough skepticism, even from the perspective of a knowing audience weaned on the comics. Those who are not familiar with the comics and the excellent "Batman: The Animated Series" (never mind the awful new series "The Batman") will never even suspect that he is virtually immortal, with an unnerving propensity for cheating death. Also not mentioned (not even once) are his Lazarus pits, which nurse him back to health, keep him young, and have sustained him for centuries(!). They also render him temporarily insane(!!). I would love, even beg, for the filmmakers to address this in a future film. A "surprise" return for the character would be a nice change of pace, and a good excuse to bring back the phenomenally talented actor who plays him. Well, at least they chose to make it clear that the Scarecrow survives. It's a welcome sign that the filmmakers may finally be catching on to the fact that comic book villains rarely ever actually die.
So that about covers it. I gave this film a ten, mostly because it's abundantly clear that the filmmakers really respect the audience. With this, X-Men and Spiderman, at long last they seem to be wising up to the need to cater to and respect the comic book fans who support these endeavors and bring in the rest of the audience. It's about time, and I hope the trend continues uninterrupted. We'll see how "The Fantastic Four" and "Superman Returns" fare (I'm optimistic). Until then, I'll see you at the movies, people! Enjoy the show!
Nola (2003)
The lead actors are better than this movie.
I give it a 'D' for Dialogue, which is hackneyed and atrocious, and there isn't a grade low enough for the script. Honestly, I really like the people in this movie, Mary McDonnell especially. But she and they are so much better than this. Mary McDonnell has been in countless movies of better quality. Emmy Rossum was one of the bright spots in "The Day After Tomorrow". James Badge Dale was excellent as Chase in last year's season of "24". Steven Bauer...well, I'm not sure about him. As for "Nola", the idea is good, but the material just isn't there. Seriously, I could see the end of this movie coming an hour before it was over. The young law student rides in on his white horse to save the legal day; Nola herself is put in a sleazy predicament; Leo the reporter breaks the story and, by the way, just happens to be Nola's long lost father; Nola ends up singing for a living; it's all way too predictable. I stuck around out of morbid curiosity; everyone else should spare themselves.
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
Just about perfect!!!
As I said, it's just about perfect! Finally Episodes I and II make more sense and the gap is mostly bridged between the two trilogies. No unnecessarily lame jokes from C-3P0 (like in Ep. II), not a word from Jar Jar Binks (who I kind of liked but was awfully incessant with his banter in Ep. I), no childish dialogue (like "Can I go, mom? Yippee!" in Ep. I), none of that. Just pure, unadulterated tragedy, angst, and action, mixed with hope for the future and much better dialogue. It will make you want to watch Episodes IV-VI really badly. Honestly, I would rank it as my number two favorite, second only to Episode V, "The Empire Strikes Back". That's if I'm playing favorites at all. Mostly I just prefer to think of them as one very long movie (or two very long movies, if you split up the trilogies). Anyway, go see it right away if you haven't already, just be prepared for a very sad, tragic movie that ends with everything going to hell. And remember, hope awaits in Episode IV, "A New Hope".
Liar Liar (1997)
Hilarious and touching at the same time.
I have to say I very much disagree with the notion that this film is "Ace Ventura" retread. Yes, it's a perfect showcase for Mr. Carrey's comedic talents, but it's also the first time I witnessed his ability to really act, in a (slightly) dramatic capacity. This is most evident in the scenes with his "son", and in a pivotal courtroom scene where Fletcher chooses morality over greed, at a personal cost. It's always hard to balance broad comedy with poignancy, but this film does it well, I think. You really care whether he loses his son or redeems himself. This was the beginning of truly great things for Jim Carrey.