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Zooropa7
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Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
The most forgettable Stars Wars Episode yet
Many have said that this Episode is much better than its predecessor, The Phantom Menace. I would have to disagree. It's just as bad, if not worse. The reaction of the audience at the showing I saw as they came out was subdued and most had glum faces. Not a good sign. While it looks like Lucas has tried to respond to his critics e.g. cutting out the kiddie humour and upping the action element, this time he's excelled himself by giving us by one of the worst on screen romance in the history of cinema, some awful dialogue, flat acting and a pretty dull plot. Some people have also compared this episode with 'The Empire Strikes Back', but to be quite honest 'Clones' is not worthy of licking its boots.
Now all the Star Wars movies had a few cringe making moments in them, 'Jedi' and 'Menace' in particular, but 'Attack of the Clones' is chock-a-block with them (*spoiler alert*): -
Practically every scene where Christiansen and Portman are together was just plain embarrassing to watch, in particular the picnic and fireplace scenes are noteworthy head in the hands moments. The romantic element just doesn't work. It just seems forced and unbelievable. The actors can't be blamed (both are capable of better). It's down to Lucas who seems out of his element handling romantic scenes and dialogue. Their relationship is central to this Episode, and it's a shame it was handled so badly.
Obi-Wan goes to visit a friend, a fat four armed lizard thing, who is kind of like Corscants resident `Huggy Bear', but this thing informs Jedi rather than cops and owns a diner with a 50's theme complete with robotic waitresses. Hello George? Isn't this universe supposed to be in a galaxy far, far away? I was expecting to hear trucks and cars hurtling by as the odd couple sat by the window. It was almost as bad as the two-headed sports commentator in 'Menace.'
Anakin has a nightmare. It was a nightmare watching him have it! And did we really have to see his nipples?
Anakin trying to save his mother was poorly done and unnecessary. How convenient for Anakin to arrive seconds too late to save her. If Lucas intended me to feel the same way when I watched, say, Obi-wan-Kenobi, Yoda or even Qui-Gon-Jin die, he pretty much failed. I felt nothing, which makes me feel nothing for Anakin and his emotional state. If she had to be murdered, it should have happened years before, when Anakin could have done nothing about it, and then see him in this Episode hell bent on seeking revenge on her killers, against the Jedi council's wishes. I find it hard to believe that he could tolerate her being a slave and not do anything about for so long.
Mace Wadu's `this party's over' just didn't seem right in a Star Wars film. While Lucas conjured up that line, why didn't he add a few expletives for Samuel L. Jackson to say for good measure? And Jackson is still wasted in these movies. Give him more to do, or not have him in at all.
C3PO was terrible in this film. I know he is supposed to be an annoying whinging robot, but where he would provide ammunition for his friends to bounce of some witty comments in the other films, here he provides some weak slapstick in crucial action scenes which is just plain irritating.
'Clones.'provides more action scenes than Episode one, but none of them are as thrilling as the light-sabre duel featuring Darth Maul in the previous film, and that includes Yoda much-hyped bouncy ball antics. Okay, it was fun actually getting to see how Yoda would handle a light-sabre, but it seemed totally out of character. For me, the Master sold out. All the action set pieces were far too derivative as mentioned in many other comments. The action in the factory got me annoyed in particular; it reminded me of levels in LucasArts `Super Star Wars' game for the Super Nintendo! The car chase thru the sky's provided a few thrills and looked great. Jango Fett vs. Obi wan on the clone planet (nice rain effect!) was cool as well, but too brief. Their space battle was enjoyable, like the Star Wars of old, and featured a great 'sonic boom' sound effect created by one of Fetts bombs. But the arena battle was a let down; the computer-generated environment looked horrible and we only saw glimpses of other Jedi in action.
Other positive points: Ewan McGregor once again gives a great performance. Christopher Lee proves he can make any rubbish given to him sound like Shakespeare and Portman looks as gorgeous as ever. Lucas once set new standards in filmmaking, now it seems he is following those set by others and tripping up along the way. One can only hope he is saving the best for last, (I'm still waiting for an epic space battle George!) but judging by this effort, things do not bode well for Episode III.
Slipstream (1989)
Flawed, but underrated British SCI-FI movie that deserves a look.
I remember the release of this movie way back in 1989, mainly as it saw the return of Mark Hamill to the big screen after an absence of 6 years (Jedi being his last movie). I also remember the poster proudly highlighting that it was produced by Gary Kurtz, producer of Star Wars episodes 4 and 5. Unfortunately, no one seemed to care about these "selling" points and mediocre reviews ensured that the film was ignored and was not even given a US release. It took almost 10 years before it got its British TV premiere (tucked well into the late night schedule) , but I didn't hesitate to give the film a look. Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed this movie and it's far from being one of the worst films ever, as some of the previous comments have made out.
The main players in the film put in some good performances, especially the late great Bob Peck for whose character I did manage to feel sympathy for and care about thanks to his acting skills. A bearded, peroxide blonde Mark Hamill gives a terrifically sinister bad guy performance as the unrelenting cop, albeit a little OTT. You could sense Hamill clearly loved being on the "dark side" for once. Bill Paxton gets most of the action and does a reasonable job. Cameos, from Ben Kingsley and F.Murray Abraham add some class to the credits. Also look out for Robbie 'Cracker' Coltrane.
Story wise (essentially a chase movie) it is highly unoriginal, borrowing heavily from Blade Runner and Midnight Run, all done in a futuristic Mad Max style. It does tend to meander in places, leaving the viewer a little disorientated. However, my interest was sustained mainly due to the strange character played by Peck. Unfortunately, his character wasn't explored adequately, and I was left wanting to know more about him and his past. Indeed, the story is underdeveloped and incomplete. The movie doesn't hide the fact that it is trying to convey some sort of message about humanity and the future with religious undertones.
Special effects and action scenes left a lot to be desired; the shoot out in the forest was very shoddily done (one of the worst I've seen). The aircraft looked like large Air Fix models and the flying shots looked unrealistic and rushed. I suspect full use of special effects available at the time were not utilised due to budget constraints. It almost feels like a T.V movie despite the cast and experienced crew. However, a mention must go to the kite scene, which is very well done and is quite exciting. It's probably the highlight of the film. The final action scene is good too, rounded off with an optimistic feel good ending and a rousing Elmer Bernstein score as the credits roll. The locations are used effectively and go some way to make up for the poor special effects.
Slipstream, is an all but virtually forgotten British Sci-Fi movie and it appears it will stay that way. Pity really, as it's a decent effort, with an interesting, if unoriginal story and good acting. Refreshingly, the makers have avoided any wanton violence and gore. If you are in the least bit interested in Sci-Fi try and watch this film if you come across this in the video store, or if comes on T.V, if only to see Hamill ham it up and play a bad guy. You could do a lot worse than this.
6 out of 10.