Reviews

I once considered Eddie the best comic around. Stand up and movies included. This really really was a bad movie. I cant believe it had such a large opening weekend. It sucked. It was not funny they tried to use gross out humor ala scary movie, something about mary but it didnt work. It was old very old... I just hope he doesnt make another one of these because i still like him and i dont want him to make a fool of himself again.

I watched this movie and the only thing that came to my mind was "Damn, this sucks."

If it wasn't for the scene where you get to see Salma Hayek's ass, it would have been worse than "The Perfect Storm." Will Smith should be embarassed at himself. He has made some decent movies ("ID4" for example), but this movie puts him in the ranks of Eric Roberts, Leo Rossi, and Shannon Tweed. If he makes another movie like this, he'd be better off sticking to Cinemax after dark movies--or possibly Lifetime Television for Women Original Pictures.

This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. And I have ALOT of time on my hands. I've seen ALOT of movies.

2/10

I'm deeply embarassed for George Clooney, Mary Elizabeth Mastroantonio, Mark Wahlberg, Diane Lane and everyone else associated with this pile of dogsh*t called "The Perfect Storm."

The acting is horrible, which is surprising considering the fine ensemble cast. The movie moves soooo slow, it is sooooo uneven, it's just awful.

Trying to watch people fighting so passionately over---ready for this?---FISHING is just nearly impossible.

And the makers of this film obviously thought a "realistic" ending would make up for the wretched 110 minutes that preceeded it. Well, it doesn't.

I saw this with my brother and we give it a 1/10, .5 for each of us. Save your money, save your time, save your respect for special effects flicks. This film is a bomb.

"Terror Train" is yet another Jamie Lee Curtis/Scream Queen vehicle, and though the action and suspense is nothing new, the ending is quite the surprise.

I haven't been this surprised watching a horror movie in a long time. The killer is under your nose the entire time...

Definitely recommended.

Who would ever want to put themselves through this movie.

Picture it: Annabella Sciorra and Robin Williams are a husband and wife with two children. The children's babysitter is taking them to school and gets into a car accident. Both kids die.

Then, one year later, Robin Williams is killed. Shortly after, Annabella Sciorra committs suicide.

That's basically the entire movie. Oh, that, plus a lot of paint, silly music and an even worse Cuba Gooding Jr.

Who wants to sit through two very depressing hours? I certainly wouldn't watch it again, and I don't recommend it to anyone. I mean, visually, it is pretty nice and the end result is one of joy, I guess, but getting there is just one hell of a bumpy ride. But, I like Annabella Sciorra a great deal, so I'll give it a 5.

5/10

A very bad sequel to a horror classic.

"The Rage: Carrie 2" had the potential to be a great sequel. Unfortunately, the writing is terrible, the storyline is boring, the gore is unrealistic and awful, and the ending is more or less a reprise of "Carrie." Amy Irving is the only returning cast member, playing Sue, all grown up and working as a guidance counselor who spots the new Carrie's powers and investigates. This leads to a completely unbelievable revelation and Irving's bland role is cut short in a "shocking" scene basically repeated from the original.

Bottom line: If you're coming to make a sequel, make one that will at least pay respect to the original, not mock it. And make sure your sequel is a different movie, but a poorly acted, poorly cast and poorly conceived remake. 3/10

Lena Olin is vicious, frightening and extremely sexy in this offbeat film noir about a corrupt cop (Gary Oldman), his bored wife (the beautiful Annabella Sciorra) and his dimwitted mistress (Juliette Lewis). Sometimes it's bloody, sometimes it's funny and sometimes it's very sensual. But, it's consistently alive and truly a unique film experience.

There is an insane sequence towards the end when a handcuffed, blood soaked Lena Olin wraps her legs around Gary Oldman's head while he's driving a speeding car. It sounds odd, and it looks even odder, but it's probably a classic action sequence. "Romeo Is Bleeding" didn't get much attention when it was released and didn't do much at the box office, but I believe it will rise above obscurity in the future and be hailed as a truly original piece of cinema. 7/10

There is a moment in "The Last Days of Disco" when one stops and realizes that the actors do not seem to be enjoying themselves at all.

But, perhaps this is terrific acting, considering the characters are not supposed to be enjoying themselves. They are early 80s yuppies, just out of college and they've just missed the disco era by a hair.

Their after hours lives are dull, their problems are dull, their personalities are (say it with me) dull. The movie never picks up, never gets more interesting, just like the lives of these characters.

I can't call "The Last Days of Disco" a bad movie, because it isn't. I can't blame the actors, because they are quite good at portraying, essentially, dull people. I can't blame the writers and filmmakers because they were out to make a nostalgic piece (I'm assuming).

"The Last Days of Disco" is just a film that one cannot say much about. So, there. 6/10

"The Golden Girls" was wildly progressive for its time, considering A) the topics it tackled (homosexuality, homelessness, sex, etc.) and B) the fact that its stars were all middle aged women. Every episode was laugh out loud funny and it enjoyed a plentiful seven season run. Each character was hysterical, though special notice all went to Bea Arthur and Estelle Getty, as the acid tongued mother and daughter duo, Dorothy and Sophia. The show lasted from 1985-1992, with strong ratings up until the final season. Bea Arthur decided to leave and the show ended when it was still popular (a wise decision, in my opinion).