Change Your Image
Costashead
Reviews
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Be a movie, or be a book. Not this half-assed thing.
Effects are amazing, it's a fun spectacle.
That being said: Yes, it's a freaking huge book, and there's absolutely no way to get the whole thing into the movie. But the choices they made... Fans of the book will be disappointed by the crucial plot elements that get left out, and people who've never read the book will have no idea what the hell is going on. But if the critics are any indication, people who like auteur directors apaprently will not care that this movie has plot holes you could drive the Hogwarts Express through.
For example, if you haven't read the book and you've seen this, you might be asking:
How does Lupin recognize the map? Who are Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs? What the hell was that stag thing I saw for 2 seconds? What just happened?
Obviously, I'm a dork fan of the book, but when I see a movie adaptation I don't expect the book. I expect a movie that can stand alone, have a coherent plot and fleshed-out characters. I'd rather they cut out even more plot elements from the book, which became meaningless in the jumble of events here anyway, and devoted more time to developing the few things that were left, like the characters and relationships. And that freeze frame -- just... don't.
Mindhunters (2004)
Don't bother hunting, there's no mind here.
It's an easy choice:
If you think it's entertaining to watch people pretend to die in gratuitous, unnecessarily graphic and stupidly implausible ways, see this movie.
If you have a brain in your head, don't.
This movie was just bad enough to annoy me, without making that extra effort to be laughably bad. I can't even enjoy making fun of this movie, because it just makes me sad that it got made. I didn't even have to pay to see it, and I'm p***ed off. I'd write more, but this tribute to mediocrity has already stolen enough of my time.
Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa (2002)
Could it be the worst Christmas special ever?
If this is ever actually replayed on television again, don't miss your chance to see one of the worst Xmas specials ever. From the cheesy voiceovers, to the appalling 3D animation, this production is so awful, it's a christmas miracle that it even exists. Groove to the "Rapsittie" kids busting some phat rhymes, like:
"I'm a decorating master, no one is faster, don't you know, I'm a christmas tree blaster!"
I guess kids will watch anything, but I would try to steer my kids clear of this steaming piece of festivity. On the other hand, drunk adults may find it quite enjoyable. Ho ho ho!
15 Minutes (2001)
Falls Short
If you've already seen 'Network' and 'Natural Born Killers,' then there's really no need to see this movie. It's mostly entertaining but degenerates into improbable silliness. De Niro is a great actor who is basically playing De Niro, the brand name. The film purports to have a message about the media -- as if we didn't already know that network news is corrupt -- but the heavy-handed delivery is ultimately just as exploitative as the characters it presents.
Finding Forrester (2000)
So promising, and yet...
What starts out as a promising setup turns into a Hollywood cheese-fest. It sets up great relationships and characters, and the potential to tackle some serious issues; it then proceeds to squash them into two-dimensional, easy-to-digest representations and clumsy, contrived plot twists. By the end, the movie wants to sweep you off your feet, without quite earning it. For a story that's supposed to be about great writers, I think the writer of this film wasn't up to the task. Which is sad, because I think it could have been a great film.
Despite all that, it's still going to have a broad appeal. Plus, it's almost worth the price of admission to see Sean Connery have a scene opposite Busta Rhymes.