Change Your Image
jfj42
Reviews
Rage of Ninja (1988)
An action movie like no other
Initially it was incomprehensible to me, then I realised that it was actually 3 films cut together. What a fool I was, I was wrong - it is a coherent whole!
The stages: bewilderment, despair, understanding, hilarity, despair again: these you, the seeker will find. What you miss is THE MANUAL!
3 film theory: This is a poor action movie, abominable soft porn and something else (unknown) cut together randomly. In reality bad guy (name forgotten) good guy (likewise) and good guy (steve) came from the same ninja empire. One of them has the dreaded manual - a guide to becoming the ULTIMATE NINJA!
Who has it? Who will win? Will good guy (2)'s ex wife keep her clothes on at all?
"You know what I want! only the manual can save your life!" "come and get it!" "Yooooouuu baastard!"
rapid gunfire etc...
If you like films that arent very good at all then buy it, buy it now!
If not, don't!
The Karate Kid (1984)
Bad teen movie
This film makes me want to peel my eyes out with a rusty spoon. Wax on, wax off, wax on, wax off, kill yourself, kill yourself.
It is truly one of the worst films I have seen, except for Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers and possibly Bad Boy Bubby.