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X-Men (2000)
7/10
A pleasant surprise!
28 May 2001
I did not look at the reviews before I watched this DVD. I came to the conclusion that it was f a r better than I anticipated it to be.

For a start, it was well-paced, and not crash-bang-wollop from the start, as some "super hero" movies tend to be. Neither was it tedious or dialogue-bound (like Mission to Mars). Overall, there was a quite serious feel to it, but it was well tempered by tongue-in-cheek moments and the unavoidable camp overlay.

Wolverine was by far the best character - a sort of old fashioned, no-nonesense, cowboy character. He echoed my view of Cyclops, who appeared glib and overconfident. Talking of Cyclops, we could have done with seeing more of his special ability. This was my favourite character in the 60s comic mags, but was more mature and aloof than the slick college-type we saw in this film. Storm's effects were more a sort of "storm in a teacup", and as for Rogue...pleeeeze! (a sort of wild-card, and handy for the plot).

The "baddies" had some interesting characters. So Magneto was a survivor of a WW2 concentration camp? An interesting, if not obvious analogy between Jews/undesirables, and modern day mutants. Didn't think much of the snarling dude, but Toad was brilliant!! I'm not sure how he could have a stereotyped London accent when brought up/hatched in North America, but what the hey. His demeanour (and accent) made him a sort of Dickensian villain - almost loveable. The part where he did a little jig during a piece of naughtiness, was excellent. The way he was dispatched was pathetic.

Yes - not a bad film. Get the popcorn in, some nice cold pop/beer, sit back, mutate and enjoy... 7/10
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5/10
Tedious, but the alien was nice
25 May 2001
What a yawn fest this film turned out to be! I recommend it for getting you off to sleep without medication.

At first I was wondering whether the over-pally astronauts were ever going to end that over-long (a word used a lot in describing this film) barbecue at the start, and then go Mars-side. More a sickly excercise in how folks interact with each other, than a sci-fi movie, this. Gallons of tedious dialogue, references to many other flicks (especially Close Encounters and The Abyss, at the end).

I must say it was well shot, and it was great eye candy, shown through my DVD - the special effects were nice - especially the planetarium piece at the end.

The encounter with the alien was the only really enjoyable bit in the film. That was one beautiful alien. The idea of "seeding" the Earth with DNA is not new, but it was well portrayed here. The evolution scene was lovely. I cannot, however, understand why the guy who went on the alien ship, had to breath liquid. Perhaps as a buffer against the forces of swift interstellar flight? Many unanswered questions...perhaps it added to a mysterious feel the film did seem to have. Too much dialogue, too much shmaltz. The final chapter, watched via a DVD machine, just about makes it worth while. Glad I rented it, and didn't buy it...
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Lexx (1996–2002)
Great eye candy!
12 January 2001
Wow, what a series this was! I used to watch it late at night, often beered-up, and found it absolutely mind-boggling. Admitedly, it was a bit over-the-top, but it was this surreal style that made it stand out.

Add to this, the absolutely heart-stopping beauty of Eva Habermann, as Zev, and it was pure eye candy to any sci-fi freak such as myself. What a pity Eva was replaced by a somewhat dull, dark-haired actress. The whole programme went pear-shaped after this silly move, and I lost interest rapidly.

First series - definitely the best!!!
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The Haunting (1999)
Oh dear...
4 January 2001
I sort of expected a more up-to-date version of the 1963 film of the same name - first mistake. The 1963 film was very good.

Then I thought "Liam Neeson = good film" - wrong! (but remember the 4th Star Wars outing...). Catherine Zeta Jones - a Welsh beauty - yes, but with a corny North American accent, and eccentric character to match - not very convincing.

Special f-ex? Not bad, but corny again. Reminded me of adverts on TV - pictures and statues etc, that moved their expressions with every change of scene. The gratuitous decapitation, near the end, seemed pasted-on, to somehow make this a horror movie - which it could not ever be rated as. Fair, but I wanted more.
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Wonderful...
4 January 2001
Having just read the numerous comments on this site (mostly positive) about this film, all I can say is that I mostly agree with them. I have watched this film about a dozen times - mostly when I want to be cheered-up. It is a perfect "feel-good" movie, when your spirits are low.

The acting? - superb. The bits of music? --- ah, so rapturous! The location...need I say more? No need to be a fan of Shakespeare - just watch this film, and enjoy...
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3/10
Truth is - tedious!
4 November 2000
Oh dear - so disappointed by this film.

Hate to appear sexist, but this seems to be a "Chick Flick". Truly corny scenario - token young "English" guy in America, females drooling over him, seems poor (how does he pay his rent? Work Visa?!) Hand me the vomit bucket.

The opening "dog on roller-skates" scene was pathetic. No explanation why poor mut was doing photo-shoot, and even worse -it seemed the dog had no owners. Where did it come from in the first place?!

Fearing going into a coma, I had to abort said video, about 3/4 of an hour into it. What a waste of time. Toothsome "radio vet" however. Again - unbelievable - a vet with no real surgery??
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Captain Jack (1999)
Surprisingly good
30 September 2000
Saw the video the other night, and was ready to shoot it down in flames - the scenario seemed so pathetic.

Surprise! -- it was actually pretty good! This was mostly due to the skills of Bob Hoskins, who is such a versatile actor, he is always believable.

Somewhat contrived, but if you can side-step this, then this is a very good, "just before bedtime" film. Worth watching.
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Virus (1999)
2/10
Given the star actors, I thought it might be good...
27 August 2000
...but it turned out to be boring drivvel.

Same old formula - gothic background of dark corridors and scarey rooms and shadows. Could have been an old castle, spaceship or even a...Russian science ship (okay, 6/10 for originallity) Remoniscent of one of many of the genre that came before it - Alien springing to mind, mostly.

Scarey? given it's Adult certificate - yet another disappointment. Poor special f-x, pieces of meat on radio-controled machines for monsters. Talking of "machines" - the cute little spider-like ones looked a lot like the contraptions in "Runaway" (1984). Possibly a vacant lot?

Tedious in extremis, and I couldn't have cared if ALL of the characters had been killed-off. The cherry on this insufferable cake was the very Bond-esque escape of the hero and heroine at the end. Not my favourite genre of film, "horror", but I recommend this one for a laugh, and to play the parlour game of "now what movie did I see THAT in?..."
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A mixed bag - mostly containing garbage...
10 August 2000
Watched at home on video, with a few beers - even this did not elevate this rueful film. The bad language was funny at first, but soon became tedious - a word that just about sums up this mishmash of wasted actors. F'ing in just about every sentence; how puerile. Teenagers should love it.

Bridges made a fine 90's hippie, but that drink he was forever embibing, made me feel ill - booze with milk in it?! He always seemed a bit like a sloth that had just ate a Valium and Prozac sandwich. Quite humerous.

Goodman's character was a bit two-dimensional, but his Vietnam-related rants were quite funny. As for the third guy, who died of a heart attack - WHY?? Rubbish ending, etc.

Plot - what plot?! --- it was disjointed and far too quirky for me. Not recommended, unless you are a bit unbalanced and love tenpin bowling, that is...
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Waste of time
26 May 2000
Warning: Spoilers
What a dog's dinner this movie turned out to be.

Like the majority of people who saw "Gregory's Girl" - an excellent film for many reasons - I expected perhaps too much from the sequel.

It started off good, and the acting was reasonable, but the direction...?? It quickly started going nowhere, meandered around, and then finally petered-out. WHY did it suddenly end with the dumping of a load of computer hardware, over a cliff??

This was an opportunity wasted - and John Gordon Sinclair (an excellent actor) must have been aware. Original: great - follow up: rubbish. D- can do better - see me after school.
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Birds of a Feather (1989–2020)
W A S funny once...
26 May 2000
This program was quite funny when it first came out, and remained so for the first couple of seasons. Two working class London girls, largely uneducated, placed in a firmly middle class geographic area, via the laundered stolen money from their bank robber (oh - ho-ho!!) husbands - now in jail. Add to this a snobby, middle aged female neighbour, who is bordering on nymphomania, and the formula is born. The ideas ran out long ago, but the program still goes on...mostly through interminable re-runs. Let's bury this sit-com right noy! - it is outdated, class war rubbish. Amen.
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Hideous Kinky (1998)
3/10
The Marakech Express to where? - tree-hugging hippieville?
10 May 2000
A strange sorta film this. No real plot or story line - it meandered like an unchecked stream (I sound like a hippie now!)

I was clueless and bored senseless most of the time, and watched the clock a lot. 90+ minutes is a long time for a meaningless hippie "journey", if this could be called such. Like most other commentators, I think the children were cute, and I would have turned the video off in minutes without their presence.

The only other good bits were the architypical "hippie music" segments, which were far too short! On The Road Again (by Canned Heat) was nicely augmented by the sight of Kate Winslet's naked torso.

Yes, I admit, the atmosphere was good at times, and the loss of her lover a bit sad. Also the photography was above average, but overall, this movie was Snorzville Arizona. If it was meant to have any "spiritual" meaning, I couldn't see it. I have gone back to watching the grass grow now - MUCH more exciting...
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10/10
Haunting at times...
4 May 2000
I remember seeing this series when it was first shown circa 1980 in the UK, and could not wait till the next part was shown.

Of course the special effects weren't that special then - but I really don't think this takes much away from it. The sequences I like the most are the lights that appear to the monks, and save one when he tests them by throwing himself off a cliff on Mars. Very spiritual overtones here - makes me shiver now just to think of it.

Also, I love the way the Martians dress - the loose-fitting robes, and those masks - excellent. Their lack of cranial hair and gold eyes, also make for a very other-worldy effect.

I borrowed the video tape "version" of this film, but was dismayed to find that about 20 minutes had been cut out - beware! I read the superb Ray Bradbury novel this was based on (originally entitled The Silver Locusts) after I saw the series, and was suitably impressed. A great atmosphere in both, but much more in the novel, I think.
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Masterpiece: The Railway Children (2000)
Season 30, Episode 5
9/10
On track to sheer delight
24 April 2000
What a sheer delight this TV film was. I saw it last night (Sunday, 23 April 2000) as it premiered on TV, and really enjoyed it. Jenny Agutter, as Mother (originally oldest daughter in the 1970 version) took a bit of a back seat, but I thought the young actors who played her children did a splendid job. This was particularly so for the oldest daughter (Bobbie, played by Jemima Rooper) who was very convincing in her roll. The young lad (Peter, played by Jack Blumenau) was a real natural as well. Hard to fault, but I was not sure of Gregor Fisher's roll as the Station Keeper, Perks. He tends to be too typecast in the UK, as an underclass Scotsman, to carry the roll off very well. I highly recommend this film - it really is a breath of fresh air, when we suffer so much from films which show much bleak dystopia, or over-sugary romantic mush. Well done to all involved - including the first class (pun!) actors, like the "Old Gentleman". A real treat.
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A Chance of Snow (1998 TV Movie)
2/10
Snow...dysfunctional family...never ending airport
24 April 2000
I saw this movie tonight on a video, and thought/hoped it would be a heart-warming Xmas flick - wrong!

It was way-overlong at 90 minutes, tedious, and not just because most of it was filmed in a laughable "airport". It was crammed full of stock situations (the old "experienced" couple, etc) and - please - have you EVER seen an airport like THAT - a sort of dream hotel!

Emotional level it seemed pitched at: about 8-10 year-olds.

I have never looked at the clock so much, and hoped that it would get better - it never did. Oh dear.
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9/10
The story teller is no more
10 April 2000
Peter Jones (the narrator of the TV version of The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy) has passed away, aged 79. What a lovely voice that man had - perfect for the part. I didn't know much about the man, but he had a good part in movie history.
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1/10
Oh dear...
3 April 2000
This is the worst "sci-fi" film I have ever seen. Tell me - was it serious or tongue-in-cheek? I seriously wonder... The shoot-em-up scenes were so "Alien II" Oh dear...

Help - this was so damned weak. I am at a loss.

A total waste of time (was that "Dougie Houser" as a top-brass?)
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Event Horizon (1997)
Waste of time
3 April 2000
I totally agree with previous preview - this was a waste of 90 minutes!

It promised much - and gave so precious little. Many times I thought "Alien" would leap out...no such luck! So much mixed up dialogue and local accents - I could not follow it. Why it was given an "adult" rating is beyond me. Missable. Turkey.
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Blade Runner (1982)
10/10
Timeless
3 April 2000
My favourite film of all time - for so many reasons...

Much-copied, so well acted, so well paced. So many reasons. This film has sooo many layers - slavery, decadence, muted techolegy, and above all else (too rare in sci-fi) HUMANITY.

Not enough space to list all the good things about this film - highly recommended! I love it.
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A mixed bag - but mostly enjoyable
18 March 2000
I have had to wait 27 years (yes!) for this film to be re-released here in the UK. It was withdrawn by Kubrick, but premiered here last night.

Ruminations - I saw the film twice in 1972 - have not seen it since, but still certain scenes stand out and make my spine tingle. The opening scene and macabre music; the surreal Korova Milk Bar setting - very atmospheric.

It seems to be a film of two distinct halfs. At first it moves quickly then it slows down considerably. It was much longer and more drawn-out than expected (137 minutes is long, even by today's standards).

Overall: pretty good, but admittedly somewhat dated. This adds to its appeal, I think - the tacky, kitche decor - but the vague post-psychedelic feel it has is great. My favourite scene was Alex wandering through the Melodia "discotique" - the LP's in racks, the psychedelic decor, the wonderful (Ode to Joy) music - excellent.

We waited a long time for it to be re-released in the UK, but it WAS worth it. It was real horror show.
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Sgt. Bilko (1996)
Comedy?!
9 March 2000
This was one of the worst "comedy" films I have seen for years. Martin can and has done far better. I also think it is an insult to the original Sgt Bilko TV shows, starring the late, great Phil Silvers. This is because it bears little in common with the original. At times I thought I was watching one of the later, abominable Police Academy films. Not impressed.
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The Matrix (1999)
8/10
Knocked-out!
4 March 2000
Just to say that this was a very well-paced film, and the special effects were the best ever - in a day and age when this is becoming increasingly difficult. Could be seen as a trifle slow at first, and somewhat dialogue-bound at times, nonetheless becomes a gripping drama. This is the only film I could place in the same league as Blade Runner - my favourite. It needs further viewing, as there is a lot of eye candy to take in, but the atmosphere is superb. Quite a few nods to other movies, I fear, but this gave it a much-needed tongue-in-cheek overlay.
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