Reviews

Krasinski painted himself in to a corner with the "fix" for the creatures, but I feel pretty confident he'll figure it out. Thrilling but not scary, which is what I expected. My 8 year old loved it and didn't see the first one. That's not a prerequisite since there's a lengthy "Day 1" prologue. Good stuff, but hope loose ends are tied up in Part III.

I refuse to write a synopsis of the film in my comments as, if you are reading about this film, already know what it is about.

First off, I like M. Night. "Unbreakable", "Signs", and "Lady in the Water" are all excellent movies that are the work of a truly unique voice in American film-making. I've never seen "The Sixth Sense", as the ending was ruined for me the day after the film came out and I realized there is no sense in seeing a film that, knowing a huge spoiler like that, would have me watching the movie the whole time thinking "Of course he's dead, it's obvious." "Unbreakable" is an amazing piece of film-making that is the best comic book movie not based on a comic book (of course, "Hancock" isn't out yet...). It's a great story about human beings and the father/son relationship in the movie reminds me of me and my father - he'll always be a superhero to me. "Signs" is the best sci-fi - very low tech and character driven. "The Village" was entertaining, but I saw the ending a mile away. "Lady in the Water" is probably one of the most under-appreciated films in modern cinema. It's going to be like "Blade Runner", 10 years from now, people will call it a masterpiece. It's an adult fairy-tale. What's wrong with that?

After seeing the trailers and the R-rating for "The Happening", I was excited. Mark Wahlberg is a good young actor, as are Zooey Deschanel and John Leguizamo. It looked like the apocalyptic thriller I always felt that M. Night had in him. I was wrong.

The first half hour or so of the film are excellent. M. Night knows how to build tension better than most directors out there. He's a great director and this film is directed extremely well. The direction is not the problem here. Wahlberg is terribly miscast. Leguizamo's role could have been played by anyone. The plague is mysterious, but the reason behind it is given about a third of the way into the film and that reason is ludicrous. It seems like Wahlberg's character is talking himself and everyone else in to that theory for the rest of the film. When it is finally revealed at the end of the film that that theory is the actual reason for the plague, my jaw dropped. Where's the twist? Where's the dark tone that an idea like this requires for a coda? The epilogue in Paris is just plain silly.

I did learn a few things from this movie, though. First, I'll never look at a tree the same way again - I'll just point and laugh. Two, maybe living in the desert isn't such a bad idea after all. Or Alaska. And lastly, a great director and a bad script do not make a good match. I love ambiguous films where crazy things happen for no good reason. Nature run amok films especially. Check out "The Long Weekend" or "Who Can Kill a Child?" instead. Those are horrifying films with similar, and more effective, results. But don't blame poor M. Night. He's just a regular guy who can't hit home runs every time. Maybe he should take his own advice and "Swing away." He'll hit another one out of the park eventually. Unfortunately, "The Happening" is like grounding out right to the pitcher.

Not nearly as bad as other people have claimed, it's still not a very good movie. I love the original, and have soft spots in my heart for "Creepshow 2", even though it's severely flawed. "Creepshow III", isn't a "Creepshow" movie. It's more like a Sci-Fi Channels original picture. Some of the stories make absolutely no sense whatsoever and are merely there to fill time. Out of the five stories, two were legitimately enjoyable - "Professor Dayton's Wife" (in an H.G. Lewis kind of way) and "The Radio" (actually had an E.C. comics ironic ending to it). This review probably sounds like it was written by a 10 year old kid, and that's how my brain feels after watching this. It's the cinematic equivalent of Taco Bell - somewhat tasty but ultimately not very good for you.

The Good - All the stories link together. Cheesy gore effects. The Creep actually appears at the end of the movie (for all of about 2 seconds).

The Bad - The acting. The very obvious Universal back-lot sets. The music does not fit the movie at all. Most stories make no sense and have non-endings. The TERRIBLE computer animation that introduces the first story.

The Worst - The title. This isn't "Creepshow III". This is more like "Monsters: The Direct-to-DVD Motion Picture".

If you were looking for a continuation of the horror comic series "Creepshow", keep looking. If you're looking to waste 99 minutes watching something that actually has a few bright spots, watch this movie. But, in the end, it comes down to two things: 1) The producers made this movie for one reason - to cash in on the brand name of the series, sell it to Warner Brothers, and earn themselves a producing credit on the upcoming remake of the original film (if it happens). 2) Warner Brothers got the rights back to a series that they shouldn't have dropped in the first place and can now make the remake of the original (or other inferior sequels).

"Cannibal" is reminiscent of Jorg (Nekromantik) Buttgereit's work, but far more emotional. As other reviewers have said, it is a stark film with VERY little dialog. It doesn't need it. Obviously if you are watching this film, you have sought it out and know exactly what you are in store for. You know the story, you know about the gore. What you don't know is how emotional and tragic the love story is. While certainly not a date movie, it is oddly touching and sad in it's depiction of two men who belong together. While I certainly don't think this is a healthy relationship, it is tragically beautiful and poetic. Is it hard to watch? Absolutely. If you're homophobic or can't handle unshaved European body hair, look elsewhere. The scene where they share the Flesh's body is disturbing, but essential to show their emotional connection and the sadness the men both have inside their souls. Once the "butchery" begins, I thought the movie, only from that point until the final shot, became exploitive. If you've ever scene slaughterhouse footage, you've seen the last 20 minutes of this movie. (Hey, I love meat as much as the next guy, but I don't want to know how it got to my plate. You'll think the same thing as well.) If it would have focused the last 20 minutes on their last meal together and the Man's coping of the consummation of their love, it would have been perfect. Unfortunately, we're left with a brilliant, but flawed, tale of tragic love. Don't watch it expecting "Cannibal Holocaust" and go in with an open mind and you will be well rewarded.

Fun little EC-ish horror anthology series that lasted only seven episodes on ABC in 1981/82. Each episode had 2 to 3 short stories in it with a total of 16 stories in all. The best of these being the 1-2 punch of "Needlepoint", a VERY short voodoo revenge story that scared the living hell out of me when I was 4 years old (no V-chip back then), and "Siege of 31 August" with Ronny Cox as a Vietnam vet who gets his just desserts for terrible war crimes. Too bad it only ran half of a season. Universal really needs to release this on DVD soon as stars like Billy Crystal, Helen Hunt, Brian Dennehey, Claude Akins, and more gave this short lived series some much needed future star power. Here's hoping they're reading this.

First off, I'm a horror nut and no matter what anybody else says, this is NOT a rip-off of "Night of the Creeps" or "The Deadly Spawn". James Gunn himself said at a recent Fangoria Weekend of Horrors in Chicago that the only film that played a part in "Slither" was David Cronenberg's "They Came from Within" (AKA - "Shivers"). There's a blatant homage to it that fans of the Cronenberg film will spot right away, and that's cool. That what James Gunn is about. You forget, this is a guy from the house that Kaufman built - Troma. Nods and inside jokes abound in "Slither". It's a horror movie for real horror movie fans. Slimy, not gory. Funny, not insipid. "Slither" is the next logical step from the guy who wrote the remake of "Dawn of the Dead". It's a little more fun, a lot less serious, and features a great cast that makes this movie what it should be - hugely entertaining. Perfect, no. But it sure is fun and makes you look forward to what he'll do next.

ABTIII is easily the best of the entire series. While loyal John Woo fans (like myself) may feel offended that a sequel was done without his involvement, this film stands alone as a true masterpiece of Tsui Hark's. Anita Mui is fantastic and lends real credibility and sensitivity to this film as the woman who teaches Yun Fat's "Mark" how to both "be cool" and use 2 guns at once. This film also doubles as a sensitive portrayal of the Vietnam conflict from "the other side", a view most Americans are unfamiliar with. A superb, compelling film with excellent performances, ABTIII is a real treasure for those willing to give it a look.

TCM2 is a loud, gory, manic, satirical, over-the-top black comedy that is everything that people have claimed the original was, but wasn't. If you look at this film as a satire of family values and Reganomics, it is wickedly funny and perversely ironic in it's no-holds-barred attitude. Dennis Hopper and Caroline Williams are great in their roles as "Lefty" and "Stretch" (respectively), but the real scene stealer is Bill Mosely as the sicko Vietnam vet "Chop Top". With mind-numbing special effects by the master Tom Savini and a script that only comes along once a blue moon by L.M. Kit Carson, TCM2 is a film that must be seen to be believed.