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Reviews
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
Jay and Silent Bob waste my $8
This film will hold a special place in the hearts of all Kevin Smith fans. It is nothing more than his very own greatest hits reel. Now I kind of dig the man myself, liked a few of his films-hated a few more, but I entered the theatre as more of a impartial film fan rather than Kevin Smith nut. Keep that in mind as I say these words: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is one of the most horrible pieces of nonsense ever put to film. It was so bad I expected Pauly Shore to have a few lines. The titular characters are really not interesting enough to carry an entire movie, especially seeing that one is silent. After 90 minutes the voice of Jay was an inch away from giving me a seizure. Crude and stupid, in all of the bad ways, this film puts a black mark next to the name of a filmmaker who really isn't all that talented in the first place. Luckily these characters are being retired, hopefully a forced change of scenery will force Smith into making a film that isn't horrible.
The Transformers: The Movie (1986)
Stan Bush, the best Steve Perry in rock and roll
Dig: I have just seen this movie for the first time tonight, at the age of 23. Yessum, I'm an old man....too old to watch this kind of smeg. I'll tell y'all, this blew my hair back. I don't know why I loved this so, but the six pack of Mickey's certainly didn't hurt. I picked up the DVD version, unedited, as a comparison to Bride of Frankenstein in a paper I'm writing. I was expected some sort of cheesy mid-eighties esoteric nostalgia circle jerk. I actually found this to be a great time. Fun conceit, entertaining pop music, brilliant catchphrases, and even wonderful animation. Now I'm not into sci-fi, the thought of robots battling each other does not really warm me over. But, my God, every second of this movie made me happy. I'll be damned if that isn't all that matters. If you care I gave it a 10/10.
The Perfect Storm (2000)
totally unwatchable
It's ironic this film will inevitably be filed under "disaster film" because that is exactly what it is. Two people destroyed this film, Wolfgang Petersson and James Horner. The direction is laughable, this film could not possibly squeeze another sub-plot into the storm. Completely irrelevant events happen constantly. To add insult to the dull pain all scenes of tension involve at least three cutaways. Essentially once you actually begin to care if the characters live or die the film cuts to an entirely new set. The subpolt lasts just long enough to stop caring for the original characters then it cuts back again. To make matters worse James Horners irritating score does not let up for one second. The power of the storm and human emotion is trivialized by those incessant violins. If all this isn't bad enough we are even, unnecessarily I may add, forced to watch all of the characters die in complete pain and misery. This is easily one of the worst films I have ever seen, I wish I could vote lower than 1.
Space Is the Place (1974)
Crazy movie from a serious genius
I'll tell you what, Sun Ra was a gift we didn't love enough. He gave us fifty years of his time to "get it," but no one bothered. He's sitting on his home planet right now, entertaining his minions on Saturn. Sun Ra made one movie, that's all he needed to preach his philosophy. It is a brilliant statement on race relations in the early 1970's. An interesting story, engaging characters, and some out there music. One fault: this was not his best period in music. His records from the 50's and 60's were astounding, good enough to make this film even more of a classic. Space Is The Place is essential viewing for those who care about jazz or Africana cinema.
Halloween II (1981)
Why oh why?
I don't get it. I just don't understand. For some reason I am absolutely in love with this movie. Every year on USA, 2am any October night. I look forward to it like other look to Christmas. As far as I'm concerned it is the best horror sequel there is. It just isn't fall without it. I gave it 10/10, though I sure it deserves half of that. It is easily the most fun I have ever had watching a movie. The perfect sleazy late night horror film. Rock on.
Carnival of Souls (1962)
wow oh wow
This is no joke here son, this is the perfect movie. This is a truly amazing film, a bizarre thought on death. Beautiful symbolism and imagery. This film is filled with that certain somethin' somethin' that keeps you up at night. It leaves a creepy taste in your mouth. Not really scary, but so offsetting it will keep you up for days. God it is something else. There are not that many films this good existing, for the love of mike hunt this out.
Final Destination (2000)
Falls apart more than my car
Final Destination is the most frustrating of all movies. It has a great premise, some truly scary moments, reasonably talented actors, but it just can't hold it's momentum. The first hour here is good, than it just gets goofy. People die in truly insane ways. One character is stabbed, has her throat cut by glass from an exploding computer, and is then blown up. What should be a terrifying moment turns into a hilarious example of all that is wrong with modern horror. Nothing subtle in this movie. Even features a decapitation, easily the least scary cliche in the genre. Every time the film really starts to gain speed, it falls apart with some stupid gory death that pushes the limits of plausibility. Good horror is always based in reality, this movie just gets too silly to take seriously. They do get points, however, for never showing us "death." I was pleasantly surprised to not see anyone in a mask. For a film that successfully works this premise check out the 1960's masterpiece Carnival of Souls, ignore this dreck.
Dog Park (1998)
very underrated
I think the problem most people have had with this film is its lack of off-the-wall humor. Since it was written and directed by an ex-kid in the hall, most were expecting "flying pig." If you can get past the name-brand that is Bruce McCulloch you will be treated to an unusual and subtle romantic comedy. Although it is rarely laugh out loud funny, it is always pleasant and amusing. A very likable cast give even the worst lines their own special charm. Kids In The Hall fans will notice many in-jokes referencing some of their skits. This isn't a perfect movie, but it is a good one.
Kicking and Screaming (1995)
The best of its kind
Kicking and Screaming is easily my favorite film. It is a funny and intelligent look at the identity crisis that follows graduation. A brilliant script lifts the film out of gen-x romantic comedy hell. First time director Noah Baumbach does the impossible by keeping such a talky film constantly moving. With more insight and heart than most movies, Baumbach has created something timeless. A must see for all who are scared about taking that next big step.