Change Your Image
ptcommish
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Halloween (2007)
Atrocious
When a movie is awful, many times it angers me.
No movie has made me angrier than this disgusting, revolting, senseless disaster.
Where do I begin? I was excited that the Halloween series was going to be re-imagined. I LOVED the original Halloween, but felt most of the sequels were very poor. A re-imagining could lead to more films, and most importantly quality sequels.
But from the moment it started, I realized this was a complete mistake.
From an utterly pointless and clichéd back story, which does nothing to develop the Myers myth (if anything it makes him less frightening), to a rushed end of the film that has NO suspense or terror - I was SHOCKED at how terrible this film was.
The man most responsible is Rob Zombie. He is just awful at every turn.
The script is mindless and so poorly written - it resorts to the lowest common denominator at every turn. The dialog is mind-bogglingly stupid and cliché. Nobody...and I repeat nobody....does a good acting job.
And finally the pace of the film is a car wreck - no build-up no tension nothing. Michael just shows up everywhere and kills everyone. Yawn.
If you were a fan of the original (and I know the original is flawed), please do yourself a huge favor and stay clear of this movie.
It will do nothing but make you angry. Trust me.
0/10
Iron Man (2008)
An Experience
Does a summer blockbuster get better than this one?
Well, at least in this day and age....I don't think so.
As I have grown older, I am more cynical of films. I am frustrated more by the flaws....clichéd plots, over indulgence of CGI and poor writing are just some examples of the problems of movies these days.
I have spent too much of my life wasted watching bad movies that were supposed to be good (Independence Day for example).
I knew going in that Iron Man was well-received. I expected a good film. You know what? I got it.
From a great lead character (thank god Robert Downey Jr. has cleaned himself up. He is great in this film), dazzling yet not overdone special effects, and direction that allows this film to go at a tight pace...Iron Man soars.
What an enjoyable cinematic experience. Not too often I say this, these days....
The Amityville Horror (2005)
Are You Kidding Me?
What can I say about this movie, other than it was completely unwatchable.
From the low-grade Haunted House "gotcha" scares to the poor casting, to awful pacing to completely implausible situations...this Amityville Horror makes the '79 original look Oscar-worthy. And that's saying a lot.
I understand Hollywood's fixation on the quick, easy horror film. They are cheap to make, and with teenage movie-goers...make a decent amount of money opening weekend. That is until the unavoidable word-of-mouth rears its ugly head. I have learned a lesson, and will not fall trap again.
Do yourself a favor AND DO NOT WASTE THE 1 Hour 22 minutes that this movie takes from your life. Remember, you will never get that time back.
A complete failure.
Friday Night Lights (2004)
The Best Football Movie?
It certainly started out as just another football film (though over-directed with a hyper-active camera)...the parties, the sexual shenanigans, the over-the-top characters. I was ready to pan the film.
But then it heated up. Once the season started, and the football action became the centerpiece, this film shined. The characters were compelling and you really felt for them and their individual situations.
I am not a Billy Bob Thorton fan, but I was pleasantly surprised by his controlled performance. Too often the coaches in football movies are completely over the top. Thorton had the strength to get on people - but he never over did it. It was a football coach.
And the movie ended on a strong note. The half-time speech Thorton gives during the final game is something that gives a former football player goose bumps. It really encapsulates what its truly like to be a part of a football TEAM...and how powerful that experience can be.
I have seen movies like "All the Right Moves", "The Program", "Varsity Blues" and the laughable "Any Given Sunday". NONE of them can hold a candle to this movie. Any football player or fan needs to watch this film...the best football movie I have ever watched.
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
A Must See for any Christian
Don't get me wrong The Passion of the Christ is NOT an entertaining film. It is an important film. A powerful film. An emotional film.
And for Christians, it is a must-see film.
With enough agony to fill five movies, the despair of Christ is there for all to see. It is riveting and at the same time, unsettling. It takes you a long time to shake it from your consciousness once you exit the theater.
It brings what Christ did and endured from words to moving pictures. It is no longer text in the bible, images on the church walls or a cross we wear around our neck. It becomes real and tangible suffering.
The words from the New Testament are transformed into living, breathing images. It will touch more people in this visual society, than the scripture ever could hope to. And as a Christian, it is important to see to have a better understanding of what you believe Christ went through for you.
Would I recommend this movie to non-believers? Maybe, maybe not. It is well-directed and tight. It is majestic and gorgeous and as a fan of cinema, you must applaud the effort.
But it is also very heavy, very focused and very unnerving. It takes you and wears you out with its brutality, and simply never lets up. It provides little background information, so it is intended for those who are familiar with the story of Christ, and is not for those who lack that knowledge. It is a very tough film to stomach and even believers may walk away dissatisfied.
And the film is not flawless. It shines brightest when it hearkens back to Jesus at earlier times, to give us more background and connection with the greatness of this character. Gibson should have shown more of this. And the ending was a tad overdone in some ways, while falling short in the glory of the resurrection. We endured this suffering - now give us more of the payoff of the risen lord.
I am not a religious zealot. I am a Catholic, who certainly believes in what I have been taught. But it never hit home more than what I saw on the screen in the theater. It made it much more real. And I am a better Christian because of it.
If this is what Gibson intended then he has accomplished it- and he should be commended for his `Passion'.
Rating - 9.5/10
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
A majestic and exhilarating piece of film-making
I was late on to the Lord of the Rings bandwagon.
Having not read the books and having seen the first film on DVD, I did not get into the "hype". Thinking the first film was good, I was still not riding the LOTR bandwagon.
Then "The Two Towers" came and wrapped me up. I was officially on board.
It all culminates with a stunning, beautiful and fiercely exciting chapter. The Return of the King might be as close to perfect film-making as I have ever seen.
Beautifully shot, with marvelous environments and spectacular CGI, this is a well-crafted body of work. I do not know much about Peter Jackson, but he has vaulted ahead of George Lucas and perhaps even Ridley Scott into the elite class of filmmakers. It is that good.
Balancing emotion with special effects and staying true to the source material is an enormous undertaking. Jackson pulled it off with a trilogy that few can deny is the strongest in cinematic history.
And Return of the King is the best of the three, and worthy of the enormous praise it has received.
American Wedding (2003)
FUNNY movie that could have been a GREAT movie
Oh, it had a lot of potential.
The movie showcased its best character...Steve Stifler. It had one of life's most emotional moments...A Wedding. It already had characters we knew and loved...we had emotional attachment. It had some absolutely hilarious scenes.
This could have been something special. Don't get me wrong - it was a funny, entertaining movie. I could not hear lines of dialogue because the theater was laughing so loud.
But it ends up feeling a bit emotionally empty. It's just too bad.
The difference between a classic and a very good film is so fine. The original had "laugh-out-loud" scenes, and it still had emotion and a human element. The second American Pie was not as funny as the first, but still had a heart and was entertaining.
I blame the director. His father was a legendary Rocker, but Jesse Dylan as a director needs work. The elements are all there, but Dylan does a poor job in bringing everything together.
First off, he shoots the film too close to the character's faces and the movie is dimly lit. It feels claustrophobic and dark. The brightness of the original films is gone, instead we are really in tight with the characters. This is not the most attractive cast and the constant close ups reflects this. In some instances it becomes quite annoying.
Secondly, the idle conversation of the original movies is lacking. The pacing is poor and it seems to be racing to the next "big" scene. Part of the greatness of the first two films is when nothing happened. Whether it was the fast-food place in the original, or the "on-the-job" conversations of the second one, it was this dialogue that did an excellent job keeping the film grounded and us, as an audience, caring.
So by the end of this movie, when the emotions of a wedding could be overflowing, you just don't have that feeling that something special is happening. It could have had the emotion of a "Father of the Bride" - where slapstick humor abounds, but in the end the wedding is still the centerpiece.
What this also does is take characters like Kevin, and even to a lesser extent Michelle, and make them complete non-factors. Kevin was the glue of the group in the first two films, and now he has virtually nothing to say or do.
And the fact that there is no mention made of the old friends, particularly Oz, is disappointing. Sure, their characters became less of a focus in the last film - but Oz was a key cog in their group. His absence must be addressed. Whether it is a comment like - "Hey what is Oz doing?" or "Is Oz going to be able to make it?" It could have been addressed in a scene with invites going out. But we had nothing.
Despite the deficiencies of its Director, American Wedding is still one hell of a funny movie. Criticism aside, the humor here is spectacular. American Wedding may be the funniest film of the three for sheer number of laughs. But that fact alone does not make it the best of the trilogy. American Pie 2, despite not being as funny, was a better overall movie.
The American Pie films may go down as the best comic trilogy in recent history. What other comedy went three movies into its run and still is as funny as this American Wedding is? I can not think of another.
And that, is something to be proud of.
7.5/10
Old School (2003)
Funny...but could have been better
From the moment I saw the first trailer, I had to see this movie. As a 32 year old male, whose best party days are behind him, this film spoke to me.
Maybe this heightened by expectations of the film. Positive word of mouth solidified my desire to see the movie. It came out on DVD and ran to the local video store to rent it, love it, then buy the DVD.
It just did not work out that way.
Don't get me wrong. This IS a funny film. Will Farrell is spectacular and Vince Vaughn plays his "Swingers" character as an older married parent, and is very good as well. I laughed out loud on numerous occassions - and there are many quality "quotes" (the measurement of a comedy for guys).
My beef with the film is that it could have been much better. The premise is fantastic, and they do not capitalize enough on the squareness that becomes your life as you grow older. There is less party and goofy scenarios as the older guys try to relate to the younger guys (Will Farrell's explanation of his 'big' Saturday not withstanding), and too much of Luke Wilson's love story and dopey "gross out scenes". The Andy Dick scene is just a waste.
Overall "Old School" is a pretty good movie with some GREAT scenes. But that does not add up to be a "classic".
Review: 7/10
Hulk (2003)
Just Not That Good
I really tried to like this movie.
I was a fan of the comic, and watched the 70's Bill Bixby show. I was a Hulk guy.
I read the reviews and saw that it was not your typical Blockbuster film. It was dark, it had depth. I liked what I was hearing.
But when it came down to it, the film just did not work. It was messy and convoluted - it trudges along and does not go anywhere. I don't mind a buildup and don't need to see an explosion every minute. But with so many flashbacks and information about the main character's fathers, it became a jumbled mess.
Make the story simple and make the emotions and experiences of the main characters complicated. Why did we have to have the subplots of the fathers? Couldn't a laboratory accident work by itself, and not have to be tied to the "sins of the father".
One positive is the CGI. When I saw the TV ads, I too thought the Hulk looked fake. But as I watched the movie, this was not the case. In particular the scenes where Hulk is being shot look impressive. The CGI is not the problem with this film.
Hulk is not "Godzilla" bad, but it is just not good either. Rent this film and save the money and buy a good movie on DVD.
Rating: 6 out of 10
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
A Pure Joy
I was leery.
After the disappointment of "Phantom Menace" I had my doubts. Had Lucas lost it? Had I grown out of the Star Wars films? Having had Star Wars as a part of my life since the age of seven, had I had enough?
After seeing "Attack of the Clones" I can say "NO" to all the above. This movie, while not perfect, was a joy to watch. The magic was truly back.
While "PM" was rushed and very uneven and difficult to follow, "AofC" is paced MUCH better. It flows well, is easy to understand and builds to a powerful, climactic finish. The special effects are absolutely incredible. All I could think about when it was done was "I can hardly wait for Episode III." Hardly the way I thought after "PM".
Forget what the critics say - this movie is a pure joy to watch and is the best Star Wars film since "Empire Strikes Back".
Rating - 8.5/10
Jaws (1975)
One of the All-Time Best
This is the movie that changed my life.
I was five years old when my father took me to this film. I look back now and wonder why he did that (it is NOT a film for five year olds)-but I am sure glad he did.
Jaws made me a movie guy. Ever since then I have been passionate about movies and have always been looking for that great cinematic experience. Jaws started it all.
Spielberg did a marvelous job under the well-documented, difficult circumstances. I do not know how this movie could be any better- it is much better than the book. It is scary, it is thrilling, the characters are engrossing, and it introduced the industry to the summer blockbuster.
It's ranking of 69 on the IMDB rating system is a little disappointing. It's lost some of its luster because you have seen it so many times on TV. The special effects are also a little dated.
But do not forget this film, it is just too good to let that happen.
Summer School (1987)
An Underrated Film
I'm afraid to admit it. I really think this movie is funny.
I had not seen it in a long time until I saw it just recently on TNT. I thought it was very funny when I saw it in high school, and it still is today.
The key to the movie are Chainsaw and Dave. These two have the majority of the memorable lines and stand-out scenes. I laughed out loud at their antics and feel they may be two of the most underrated comedic characters in recent memory.
Many of the side stories dealing with the pregnant girl, the football player and the stripper completely miss the boat. Some of the characters are completely annoying. But even Caddyshack had the unappealing story of Danny Noonan and his girlfriend, yet it is still a comedy classic.
As a 30 year old male, the true test to a comedy film is whether or not you will quote it. Movies like Caddyshack, Animal House, Fletch etc are quoted on a daily basis during our conversations. Summer School is VERY quotable thanks to Chainsaw and Dave.
While Summer School is not the best comedy of the 80's, it is the most unheralded. It is laugh-out-loud funny and if you haven't seen it in a while check it out - it works.
RATING 8.5/10
Halloween II (1981)
Solid, But Somewhat Disappointing Sequel
When I first saw this film, I thought it was great. But unlike the original "Halloween", "Halloween II" does not stand the test of time.
Michael Myers is still the most frightening figure in horror movie history, and when he is on the screen the thrill is still there. There are some classic moments here when he is on the prowl.
But the hospital characters are obnoxious and you don't care if they end up dead. The suspense is lacking, and in its place is gore. Instead of building the fear, Myers uses different hospital instruments to do his unique handywork.
Unfortunately, "Halloween II" forgot the tension and suspense that made the original so great. Instead, it follows the same formula that the knock-offs like "Friday the 13th did": forget suspense, give them gore!
They forgot to make this film scary.
RATING 6/10
Halloween (1978)
Downright Frightening
With the exception of "The Exorcist", "Halloween" is the scariest film I have ever seen. Who can forget the first time they saw this horror masterpiece?
I view the film every year during Halloween. While having seen the film upwards of 25 times has taken away the fear factor, it does not strip it of its craft. It is a wonderfully simple, yet effective scare.
Why? Because of how John Carpenter builds the suspense with Michael Myers. The mask and the man behind it is pure evil and the fact it consistently shows up eerily in the background, as Michael hunts his prey, is masterful.
Is it flawless, no. It is a low budget film and has its share of holes. But just sit back and enjoy the suspense and thrill of evil incarnated.
Why don't they make suspenseful horror films like this anymore? It's all CGI and gore these days. Makes you sad...
Rating 9.5/10
Beverly Hills Cop III (1994)
As Bad As It Gets
I have only been on this website for a few short days, and this is only the second review I have done. So why did I choose this movie to review and not more natural choices? Because this movie sticks out as one of, if not the worst film, I have ever seen.
I loved the first movie - Eddie Murphy was outstanding. The second film was more entertaining than funny - but it was still good and the characters were strong.
That's what made this movie so disappointing. The pieces were in place. John Landis was back.
What they made was a movie so horribly unfunny that five years after seeing it, I still use it as a measuring stick for movie futility.
I may have seen worse movies in my life. But after Beverly Hills Cop III, I can't remember them.