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Wanted (2008)
2/10
Well if this isn't the title to generate a whole new generation of school shooters...
10 July 2019
Then I don't know what is.

Bullets can be strewn round your love ones. (They can't) You'll be more attractive by firing guns. (You won't) You'll be validated by having Jolie snog you. (You won't/she won't) Etc etc. *Such* a bla bla of a movie, made by meaningless nothings.

It means an absolute nothingness but an encouragement of more meaningless violence (which will have far more viscera and look far less cool in real life)...
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10/10
Pretty much the funniest thing ever created
4 October 2015
It seems unlikely, but I've watched it at least 10 times, and it really is the most astonishingly ambitious and genius thing. Such utter care taken in every detail. It really should make everyone raise their game, or feel ashamed, but it won't because it's already been forgotten. Because it was on BBC Two. And not even a paltry DVD. Utterly more punk than Young Ones, more subversive than Python, more iconoclastic than Not the Nine O'Clock - and ruthlessly slicing its way through all of those, and themselves, Harry and Paul have created the smartest and funniest thing I've ever seen. It will forever be forgotten for some reasons. Towering genius, funniest thing ever made - oh whatever, this is only the second review of this - you're never going to watch it, even though it's freely available on DailyMotion. You deserve yourself.
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4/10
Aaardan now hates everything Aardman stands for...?
1 February 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Such a very very weird movie for Aardman to make. So here's the plot: Hugh Grant plays a desperately, dangerously insecure mass-murdering moron who violently assaults and thieves from anyone he stumbles upon.

One of the victims is Charles Darwin who, of course, is a nerd, who cares only for seeing a woman's boobs.

(Coz - you know - he's a nerd! What an absolute loser!! He's into science and stuff! Like Wallace from off of Wallace and Gromit, and EVERYONE hates Wallace! Especially Aardman, apparently now...)

And at that point it should all invert, and Darwin becomes the hero, but no. Grant's awful character carries on being the hero, by continuing being the absolute moron that he is.

Obviously it's animated impeccably, and there's a few excellent jokes (though plenty is lifted wholesale from Muppet Treasure Island) and it was made in my home city, and I'm friends with one of the animators, so I don't say this lightly, but it's quite horrid compared with what Aardman usually is, and absolutely should be.

And Darwin would *never ever* call a chimpanzee a "monkey"... I mean, what...??!!
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Earth (2007)
10/10
The Earth - what more could you want?
8 November 2008
Rather annoying that reviewers keep comparing this to Planet Earth... Of *course* Planet Earth is better - it has much much more of the same. Earth is like an extended trailer for the Planet Earth series, and as such, is inevitably inferior and simplified. But that is not comparing like with like.

As a feature-length documentary (or actually as a feature-length anything), it surpasses pretty much anything you will see in your entire life (unless you choose to traverse the Earth in helicopters with long-range cameras for years on end, and wait for months in the most extreme environments to catch a glimpse of the most extraordinary beings on earth, which - lets face it - is unlikely).

On the narration: yes everyone in the UK - very much including me - adores David Attenborough, and there's little excuse for him not to be narrating here, but that hardly deserves knocking down a star or three. He wasn't a presenter on Planet Earth, just a narrator, and I'm sure he's modest and gracious enough to realise that anything that gets more viewers in is a Good Thing.

Anyone who sees this will be overwhelmed by its awe, majesty and glory. All reviewers agree on that. Those who love it (ie. everyone) will/should go on to see an buy Planet Earth. So three cheers for its cinematic release, and a big boooo for anyone cheap enough to buy this on DVD rather than the Planet Earth box-set. But as works of art they're not in competition here people.

The Earth is big enough for both.
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10/10
Beautiful, moving, brave
30 August 2000
There are two things which distinguish Follow That Bird from practically all other films aimed at this age group.

One is the fantastic songs, ranging from the tear-jerking One Little Star to the gloriously feel-good Easy Going Day.

But the other is the brave, solid swipe at the policy of social services to insist on placing children with parents of the same racial group. Sesame Street has long upheld the notion that family is something which extends beyond blood ties into community, that diversity and difference is to be celebrated and encouraged, and this movie is a complete affirmation of that, delivered in a story a five year old can understand and appreciate.

The balances and transitions between happy and sad, good and bad, action and stillness, are all perfectly handled. Almost all the characters are well used (except Grover perhaps) with Spinney as Big Bird as fantastic as always, allowing his oversized innocence to shine through, even in the face of the (perfectly judged) baddies.

The direction and cinematography are great - though its just nice to see the Street on film (and actually outside?) rather than the studio-bound look of TV. The movie has hardly aged a day.

The plot slides gracefully along, with a real sense of progression, a proper road movie. The four groups of characters moving in converging directions, frequently missing each other. The final scene is a suitably simple, profound, subtle but satisfying finale.

To deliver all this in a way that is deeply satisfying to the adults and the small people is a massive challenge that Follow That Bird effortlessly rises to.
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