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Darkness (2002)
1/10
If The Grudge is mediocre then this is the 0 star ghost movie of the decade.
7 January 2005
If you saw the grudge, a another mediocre ghost movie then you should know what to expect, just worse, a lot worse. This Time instead of being in Japan with all English speaking people we are in Spain with all English speaking people. It is interesting that not one shot of this movie actually looks like Spain and could have been entirely filmed in a studio back lot. Oh and a place with swings, cause there's a good 5 mins of footage of swings with no one on them, oooohhh how spooky.

This one is terrible in every way imaginable. The acting by the lameinator mom and dad don't help matters at all. Anna Paquin is the only person that delivers a decent performance in the film but I hate Anna Paquin so you can imagine my own private hell viewing this film.

There is one good moment in the movie, however, when a villain is trying to explain the convoluted plot to Anna Paquin's character and she doesn't understand any of it and asks a bunch of stupid questions and he blurts out "You IDIOT, you have not understood anything!" lol. Well I happen to understand this film is a piece of garbage. 0 stars.
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10/10
Yet another good call by Ebert.
24 October 2004
This is a great film. I have seen it 4 times now and it seems to draw me in more and more every time I watch it.

An excellent performance by John Cho, who made it in to the hilarious "Harold and Kumar go to white castle" not long after this movie came out.

An Interesting point of production on this film is that is was none other than MC Hammer that provided a large portion of the budget and allowed the film to stay in production.

Yet another good call by Ebert, one of the best independent films of recent years. Don't waste your time with "Bully"(2001).
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10/10
This movie should be called Stark Raving Fun.
13 August 2004
The other day me and a friend of mine were discussing Seann William Scott. We were watching evolution and both thought it was great but Sean William Scott is just playing the same character over and over and its gonna end soon if he doesnt do something else. (though I do hope they make an evolution sequel, but not likely) Then my friend was like "well he did have that striaght to video action movie or whatever it was" I was like " geeze straight to video already, he didnt have a chance." It got me very interested, however, since Stark Raving Mad was the only movie Seann Scott had been in I had not seen.

I went and rented the film and me and my friend watched it the next day. What I was was surprised. Here is a film that deserves much better than the straight to video release it got. It has top notch direction, excellent pacing and sets and a truly fitting musical score. This film is a little light on plot but it makes up for it with its excellent characters, I found it truly a pleasure to watch. Seann William Scott really steps up to the plate with this film and brings something new to the table.

I watched the film through with the commentary track the next day and I have to say if you like commentary tracks this one is almost more entertaining than the film itself. If Seann William Scott ever reads this (not that I expect him to) I would want him to know how his enthusiasm for this project and real want to do something different than typical American Pie characters really comes through in the film, I could really tell this was more than a paycheck for Seann. In the immortal words of Seann Scott's co-star Monet Mazur "This movie should be called Stark Raving Fun... 'cause thats what we've been having." lol
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Strip Search (2004 TV Movie)
This film will strip you of 1 hour 15 mins of you life and constantly searches for a reason to exist.
28 May 2004
This piece of garbage is terrible, I mean horrible. This is one of the worst pieces of trash ever. I cant believe such good actors felt they needed to be in this, the paycheck couldnt be worth it, its a made for tv movie for gods sake.

Its about some interrogations of 2 students. The writing here is painfull to listen to.

There is no reason for this to exist. It tries to make a point and fails misserably. It crashes and burns like only so few can. I just finished watching it and frankly I'm kinda ticked off at the hour of my life I lost.

If Strip Search happens to be on when your flipping the channels. Search for something better.
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10/10
This girl can live next door to me anytime.
13 April 2004
I went in to this film expecting nothing really> I had read bad reviews and wasnt optimistic. Much to my surprise good old Roger Ebert was out to lunch again. To old to connect with a film like this. Not since his review of mallrats (1.5/4) has he been so out to lunch. I think Mallrats is one of the funniest and best comedies of the 90s and one of my fave films of all time, much like this film that ebert also gave a 1.5. I thought this film had a great concept, good pacing, I laughed quite often, and I liked the cast and how the characters were developed. There were certainly moments where you questioned a characters motivations but the film makers redemed their actions in the end. This is certainly not a perfect film and flaws it does have but still a film I am still thinking about more than a week after seeing it and hoping the DVD has great features. Frankly, I love the girl next door.
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Dreamcatcher (2003)
1/10
"I'll show you things you wish you had never seen"
10 April 2004
This is a terrible peice of trash. The begining starts off promising, it moves in to a beautifully shot hunting trip, and then pretty much when you get to the crap weasels and stupid looking alien its all down hill. The most surprising thing the the steep grade with which it goes downhill. The ending is literally laughable. Donnie Whalberg is putting it all on the line here at least they could have given him something to put it on the line for.

I can sum up this movie perfectly. In the film Morgan Freeman's character says "I'll show you things you wish you had never seen" Basically if you watch this film, thats exactly what you will wish. Theres a pretty simple rule of thumb on this one. If you have to pay, stay away. If you get to see it for free then please, by all means. (mostly for the first 25 mins)
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Rollerball (2002)
1/10
If they taught how NOT to make a good movie, the product would be Rollerball(2002).
14 March 2004
Warning: Spoilers
WARNING this critique contains spoilers. If you really want to spoil something, like 90 mins of your life watch this movie.

My god where do I start. This is one of the biggest peices of trash ever. The real problem here is it looks as though there wasnt enough footage after filming to edit together a coherent story so they just used what they had.

This is a movie where the actual players of rollerball in the movie admit they have no idea whats going on. The main character complains that one of his friends chin straps was cut, yet he never puts his strap on, ever. There is also a long boring sequence shot in night vision that looks so good I could have made it with a 10 year old camera, but if you like blury and hard to watch its all you.

I give credit to LL Cool J and Kris Klien for trying to work with the material. The problem is there is nothing to work with. If you love rollerball watch the original. Hell I would even recommend some of those horrible Kevin Kostner epics over this. Really folks when it comes to Rollerball (2002) just say no.
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One bad movie.
20 June 2000
This is a bad movie. I expected better from Dennis Hopper. The entire look of the movie is very "cheap" to put it lightly. The story line is bad, the special FX are terrible, and the feeling you get after watching it is like you just want to take it back to the rental store as fast as possible. Don't get me wrong I am a huge Dennis Hopper fan, I think he did all he could do with the script. The other actors in the movie did a good job of making sure this film didn't crash and burn in the first 20 minutes, but give it another 15 minutes and it's going down like a 747 at 30 000 feet with no wings. Hopefully we will see Dennis Hopper in some more break through performances like Blue Velvet or even Speed.
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