Change Your Image
euphemism
Reviews
The Watermelon Woman (1996)
Good idea, bad execution - SPOILERS
I recently saw a short portion of this film in my cinema class and it's an interesting approach to the documentary in that... it's not. It's a pseudo-documentary that doesn't let us in on the ruse until the credits role. So, an interesting idea is presented: An African American Lesbian is the director and star of this film who attempts to reconstruct the history of a fictional african american lesbian film star: The Watermelon Woman. Her reasoning is that she doesn't have a historical past for her rolemodels, so she'll make one herself. I think it's a pretty interesting idea, and I want to see the rest of the film now that I'm thinking about it, BUT the acting in this movie is SO bad, you'll want to shoot yourself five minutes into the movie, tops. Again, wanna see a movie about African-American Lesbian Filmmakers, this is the one for you... but it's really bad. I feel bad saying this because of her severely marginalized social position, but bad art is bad art no matter who you are.
Blow (2001)
Ted Demme has martin Scorsese tied up in a closet.
This is the best film that Martin Scorsese never made. This is a fine film. Johnny Depp is excellent as usual, I particularly enjoyed his victory dance at the airport. The story is interesting. The thing is, Ted Demme stole Martin Scorsese's technique. It's not just the the presence of Ray Liotta, or the man falls from grace due to greed true story; it's his style. Everything about this movie feels like Marty. The way the voiceover is used, the use of songs, the camerawork, everything. It's a fine film, but wholly unoriginal stylistically.
Tomcats (2001)
Robbed, I tells ya'!!
With very low expectations going in, I was surprised to find that this film is actually worse than I had expected. All I wanted from this film was naked women. I assumed that as the film was rated "R", I could expect some sort of adult knowledge of the feminine form, look at the poster, look at the preview, for God's sake! This film was selling sex but it was junk sex and I want my money back. I am unhappy with the inconsistent amount of male nudity that is being featured in films such as this one and Scary Movie. The only naked breast we saw was a lactating one. THERE REALLY IS NO REASON TO SEE THIS FILM.
Enemy at the Gates (2001)
Where is the rest of this film?
I saw Enemy at the Gates last night, and though I had to go to the bathroom the whole time, I stuck it out until the end. I do not believe that my bladder had any affect on my oppinion.
I have no knowledge of the history of this story, so I will remain silent on those details. People complaining about the historical accuracy of this film have obviously never seen a movie, ever.
My impression of this film was that it was cut in half somewhere between the writing of the screenplay and the editing of the completed film. There are so many underdeveloped plots in this film, it's incredible. I believe that Jean-Jacques Annaud had a definate message in his film that is no longer there. It seems to me that he was making a statement about Communism and propaganda, but decided to make a genre picture halfway through.
The credits in this film, particularly the end credits are reminiscent of Communist propaganda. The slanted latters and the Pseudo-Russian Font are what I am talking about. Then we have Joseph Fiennes character. His first appearance is with the propaganda newspaper. This theme is mostly ignored the rest of the film, until Fiennes last words where Annaud's opinion on the failure of Communism is clearly voiced. This is much more interesting than the sniper duels, though maybe not quite as action-packed.
What happened to the accents in this film? For a film that takes place in Russia, the soundtrack has few russian accents.
Two good things. Ed Harris is always good. Something about his face communicates such intense pain and complexity. His is the only believable accent.
Also, the reason I know that Annaud is a better director than this film suggests is his direction of the love seen between Jude Law and Rachel Weisz. What a strange and entirely convincing sex act.
Little Nicky (2000)
WOW
Out of sheer boredom, I made my way to my local movie theatre to see what I expected to be a bad movie, but Adam Sandler has really outdone himself this time. I have enjoyed some of his films and would describe most of my feelings about them as, "Not too bad." That is to say that they were not very good either. But, they were simple, silly films.
This film cannot be forgiven so easily. This is one of the worst films I have ever seen and I felt a strong urge to flee the theatre almost as soon as it began. I only toughed it out so that I could tell the tale of my ordeal to others.
Before the film even begins, we hear the music that will haunt the soundtrack endlessly, weakly attempting to affect us emotionally and intended to boast record sales.
This is one of Adam Sandler's worst characters. His voice is annoying and not cute. His haircut is stupid and not cute. The movie is a waste and not funny. The other actors that agreed to be in this film must have been contracted by Lucifer because no one in their right mind would appear in this car accident. Harvey Keitel seems to have reached an all time low. Kevin Nealon, who always amused me on SNL, is wasted on a sight gag that doesn't work the first time, but is repeated ad-nauseum. Quentin Tarantino - shouldn't he be directing something to make up for Jackie Brown? Robert Smigel, who was mildly amusing for five minutes with his cartoons on SNL, is terrible as the talking dog and probably had more screentime than Harvey Keitel. Smigel's voice is just bad.
Just a dumb movie. It would have been okay if so much money had not been wasted.