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Reviews
Notting Hill (1999)
The epitome of evil
I wish this film would disappear off the face of the earth. It epitomizes everything that is loathesome about cinema, and in particular, English-ness in film. The usual stereo-typed English traits that appeal to Americans can be found here along with god awful dialogue "I'm just a girl asking a boy to love her". Not to mention Ronan Keating's truly sickening song that crops up at the most cheesey moments in the film. And as for Julia Roberts and her annoying grin I nearly destroyed my television. Can you just imagine for a moment the makers of this movie getting emotional and congratulating themselves on the great romantic masterpiece they had just made when they finished Notting Hill? If I was there I don't think I would be able to stop throwing up. I wish I could erase this wretched movie from my mind as easily as I could erase the film from the tape.
Vampires (1998)
Poor show Mr Carpenter
I've just watched Vampires and even though I had read the mixed reviews, thought I'd give it a go. I love John Carpenter's early movies: Assault on Precinct 13, Halloween and The Thing, but this was just dull. Carpenter hasn't come close to a great film since The Thing (1982). Admittedly Vampires isn't as bad as films like Village of the Damned but it shows none of the suspense, good story and general creepiness of his early work. Vampires is just another "From Dusk Till Dawn" movie, epitomising everything that is wrong with horror movies in the 90s. Full of MTV visuals and an 80s rock soundtrack, it even mimmicks certain editing styles from "From Dusk Till Dawn". There is not one genuine scare to be had watching Vampires. Even James Woods (who is always interesting) seems embaressed by some of the dreadful dialogue he has to speak. I would give this film 3/10 simply because I know Carpenter can make better movies than this, it just seems that he never will.
La ragazza del vagone letto (1980)
Great cast in a sleazy movie
Terror Express is another entry into the Last House on the Left sub-genre that emerged in the 70s. To its credit its one of the more enjoyable films full of sleazy characters and a top-notch cast. Look out for Zora Kerova's double entry scene, the weirdo father who secretly wants to make love to his daughter, and Carlo De Mejo in an almost hardcore sequence involving the said daughter. Jesus how could anyone ever describe this film as dull? Not for the easily offended for sure but definitely one for the collection of any Italian horror-sleaze merchant.
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
Unnecessary remake of a classic film
I really tried to enjoy this movie as I have tremendous respect for Romero and Savini but it just didn't cut it. I'm a huge fan of the original but this really is an unnecessary remake and I can't understand why Romero wanted to change certain elements of the original which in his mind he wished he'd done in a different way. The end result with a few twists (i.e. Barbara becomes the tough heroine) just isn't as effective as the original and even the effects are far from special. One would expect a Savini film to contain a lot more gore, but he was obviously more interested in the direction, which to his credit is rather good. I just can't help thinking that the whole project was a waste of time. Why didn't they make a fourth installment of the Dead series instead?
Non stop sempre buio in sala (1985)
Paola Senatore in hardcore
Non Stop Sempre Buio In Sala is an interesting porn feature starring Paola Senatore as a woman reflecting on her experiences with men. Senatore features in many of the hardcore scenes which fans of films like Eaten Alive will find enjoyable. I had no idea she had done hardcore stuff till I saw this movie.
Bakterion (1982)
One word..."Awful!"
Panic is dreadful. I the only reason I watched it was to see David Warbeck and Janet Agren (with silly perm) and have a few laughs. Indeed the only thing one can do with a film like this is laugh. Chuckle at the attempt to match stock footage of streets in England with the streets of Spain. Roar with laughter at the cinema scene in which the lights go out and all we see is black for a good minute as the monster attacks the audience. Frown at the huge rat that makes an appearance in the sewer only to never be seen again for the rest of the film? There are so many goof in this film it is unbelievable, the best one has to be a Police Rover driving to the scene of one of the murders and the car which arrives is a Ford Cortina. Oh the pain of watching Panic, I still don't think I've fully recovered from the experience.