pleiades10's Reviews

The Cosby Show: A Look Back (2002 TV Movie)

6/10

20 May 2002

Last night, NBC aired "The Cosby Show Reunion: A Look Back". Like many Americans who fondly recalled this show, my wife and I made sure to watch it. What we saw was done with class, but had it's highs and lows.

Basically, it's was just a "clip show" of the funniest and most touching moments from the 8 year run of the Cosby Show. They showed bloopers (primarily actors flubbing their lines), and "interviews" with the principle stars. Now, it was very cool to see how the little kids had grown up (both Keshia Knight Pulliam and Raven Symone are beautiful!), and the supporting characters like the guys who played "Bud" and "Peter"... but halfway through it got a little tiring to hear them wax poetic about how important the show was (in opening doors for African Americans in television), or how funny it was to work with the Cos. It is obvious that what they were saying was true, but after a while, everybody was just saying variations on the same basic comment, and it got a little tiring to listen to.

We also realized that The Cosby Show works better as a full cohesive 30 minute episode, not as little snippets here and there. Lots of the times, the clips were taken out of context, so we didn't know what the characters were comment on or reacting to...

There was also an awful lot of time collectively taken up by the camera focusing on a white brick wall with small black and white framed stills from the show while a star spoke about something. Rather odd.

And the most glaring question, where was LISA BONET????? Every other Cosby family member, including the actor and actress whom played Cliff's parents (they have aged rather well, I must say...) were present, but no Bonet!!!! Maybe she had a falling out with the creators of the show? Maybe she's busy filming a movie? Who the heck knows... The void was felt, because they were very few clips surrounding her character of "Denise", and virtually no comments about her or her character from the rest of the cast.

One nice moment came at the end when Cosby presents Phylicia Rashad with a bouquet of flowers to thank her for her involvement on the show (and for being his "catcher" as he put it.) Seems Rashad was never nominated for an award in her portrayal of Clair, and she gets visibly choked up when she is given the flowers. I'm sentimental, I like stuff like that. :^)

But for the most part, my wife and I realized that "The Cosby Show" is best watched, in thirty minute doses, on Nick-At-Nite. (Do you realize that if NAN replaced "All In The Family" with "Night Court", that we'd be able to enjoy that classic 80's NBC Thursday night line up again? But that's something else entirely...

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Bones (2001)

6/10

An inner city "Nightmare on Elm Street"

29 March 2002

Warning: Spoilers

Bones is an interesting horror movie that borrows ideas from lots of films from the last 25 years. Elements of the Amityville Horror, Nightmare on Elm Street, and any of the countless Friday the 13th/Halloween style slashers abound.

***SPOILERS!!!! SPOILERS!!!! EVERYBODY RUN AWAY!!!!!********

The plot centers around Jimmy Bones, played with unquestionable coolness by Snoop Dogg, as a 1970's hustler/pimp/drug dealer/neighborhood protector (I was never sure whether Bones was a "good guy" or "bad guy" from the flashback scenes...) whom gets double crossed and murdered by his best friend, his bodyguard, a business associate (to put it nicely), and a corrupt cop. His former home remains haunted and unsold until present day, when some kids buy it to renovate it into a dance club (cool idea, I must say...) Suddenly, Jimmy Bones' ghost gets busy, and people get killed, ranging from those who deserve it (the double crossers), to those who don't (some of the innocent club owners). We also learn that Bones' former girlfriend still lives in the area, and that she has a daughter that has an undeniable interest in the old place - you can probably figure out how that "relates" to Jimmy Bones...

Much of the gore is off screen, or in very brief shots, except for the characters that get eaten alive by the "Bones" dog, (one of many ways in which Jimmy Bones manifests himself), the reanimating corpse of Jimmy Bones (reminds me of a similar scene in "Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II", except done better), a nice death by mirror shards, and some disembodied heads. Although these heads serve as awkward comic relief, as Bones' allows the heads to still comment on happenings around them, providing some uneasy laughs. (the head of one character, after blood splatters on it's face from another's death: "Awwwwwww man, now was THAT really necessary???")

There's also a wall of tortured souls... not really gory, just disturbing, and a shower of maggots from a variety of sources. And Jimmy Bones' former home, now a musty, run down haunted wreck, surrounded by empty lots (the surrounding building's values went down, so all were bulldozed...) is one of the creepiest movie buildings I have ever seen, looking like a real-life gothic version of the "Castle Greyskull" playset from the He-Man toy line of the 80s.

Overall, Bones is no cinema masterpiece, but it is a good solid effort to produce a modern horror movie with some solid scares and gore.

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Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)

7/10

Much better than the preview suggests.

26 March 2002

I'm not sure what exactly my impression of this movie was when I was only familiar with the trailers... maybe because the trailers didn't make me want to rush right out and see "Bridget Jones' Diary"... but now that I have seen it, I can say this movie pleasantly surprised me as a well written, well acted, and charming tale.

On the surface this appears to be a "chick flick"... and there are definite "CF" elements here... but overall, Bridget Jones is a character that everybody can identify with. A good person, suffering from a lack of self esteem, suddenly experiences the elation that new love (or just hot sex) grants a formerly lonely soul. Along the way, she looses love, gains love, looses love again, has misunderstandings, work conflicts, dealings with creepy old co-workers, (the nickname "Tits-Pervert" is fantastic!) it's all happened to every last one of us, woman or man, at one point in our lives. (Although I've never had two women fighting over me, tossing themselves out of a restaurant window - but that's just me...)

Bridget Jones' Diary is a fun movie to watch, and when viewed with an open mind, an honest movie as well.

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This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

6/10

Still funny - but real life bands have surpassed this parody

26 March 2002

Back in 1984, there was no VH-1, hence no "Where Are They Now", or "Behind The Music". Also in 1984, we hadn't yet heard of Winger, Skid Row, Slaughter, Poison, or any of the other "hair bands" that we hate to love.

Hence, "This Is Spinal Tap" was a blistering parody of British heavy metal rock that was just really coming into stride around that time in '84. The scenes involving the Stonehenge set, the fight between the band's manager and lead singer's girlfriend (obviously a nod to Yoko Ono), any of the absolutely ridiculous "videos" and "concert performances" (Sex Farm, Bitch School, Big Bottom) are all still quite funny and well done - except maybe a little sobering now, especially when you realize that the real bands "the Tap" are spoofing (those that came out in the late 80s "hair metal" boom) were often as silly, clueless and destined for obscurity as this fictional group of guys is...

It's also fun to play "spot the cameo"... many are obvious, some not so obvious, but we have folks like Howard Hessman, Fran Drescher, Paul Schaffer, Billy Crystal, Dana Carvey, and others popping their faces into a scene here and there.

"This is Spinal Tap" is still a funny movie, it's just that the antics of real life musicians (Tommy Lee's sex tape, anybody?) have severely lessened this movie's satirical impact.

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Crossroads (I) (2002)

8/10

Fun and cute film - good starting role for Britney.

21 February 2002

I'm noticing a large number of negative comments from other IMDB reviewers about how bad this movie "sucks", "blows", "never should have been made". I'd like to ask those folks if they like Ms.Spears AT ALL. Do they bob their heads when "Oops I did it again" comes on the radio? Do they read the interesting in-depth articles in Rolling Stones about her? I have a theory that they do not. There are folks out there that hate whenever anybody gets very popular, no matter how talented or deserved, and I suspect that these reviewers are letting that bias their reviews of this film. Now don't get me wrong, "Crossroads" is no Shakespeare production, but it is a cute, and fun film that if you can go into it with an open mind, will surprise you.

The plot is simple. Three little girls bury a box filled with "dreams", and vow to dig it up on their high school graduation night. During that time, the girls grow apart, but they do return to dig up the box from their childhood. This sets the movie in motion to take the girls across the U.S. on a road trip with a guy they barely know in search of (among other things), a recording contract, a missing mother, and a distant fiancee. Sure, some of the situations are predictable, but so what? I haven't been to a movie in YEARS that hasn't had SOME degree of predictability in it's plot. The dialogue is realistic and charming. And the three principle actresses, Zoe Saldana as "Kit", Taryn Manning as "Mimi" (looking like a modern Soleil Moon Frye from Punky Brewster), and yes, miss Britney Spears as "Lucy" are all excellent in their roles, and become characters you quickly care about and want to see the best happen to. Also good is Anson Mount as "Ben", the token guy throughout this cross country trip. I particularly liked the scene where he said that his car was the one thing not "taken over by women yet". Being a guy who's always managed to have more female friends than male friends, I've been in his shoes many a time! :^) Dan Aykroyd was also good in his role as Britney's single father, although I did keep having "Ghostbusters" flashbacks whenever he was on screen, but that's just me...

Although most folks are calling this a comedy, it's not a laugh out loud film. It's not meant to be. It's more of a romantic, adventurous, "Dramedy" if you want to be exact.

And as a final comment to all the naysayers out there... Remember a man named Mark Wahlberg? When his first film came out, wasn't everybody putting HIM down, saying he was nothing more than a flash-in-the-pan pop/rap star? He did record those songs "Good Vibrations" and "Wildside" with the Funky Bunch, if you recall. Now look at him. Great roles in Renaissance Man, the Basketball Diaries, Boogie Nights, Three Kings, the Perfect Storm and others have elevated him to revered acting status.

I can't help but wonder if a similar career awaits Britney. If so, more power to her, there's nobody more deserved! :^)

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Heartbreakers (2001)

5/10

Deserves two reviews in one.

1 April 2001

Warning: Spoilers

I just saw "Heartbreakers" earlier this evening, and I feel that it deserves to be reviewed in two ways.

***WARNING WARNING!!! THE FIRST REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!!! WARNING WARNING!!! IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SPOILERS, SKIP AHEAD TO THE SECOND REVIEW!!!***

Here is the FIRST review. This one is written for ALL women, and enlightened men who DON'T automatically see women as sex objects.

"Heartbreakers" begins with a promising enough story... Sigourney Weaver and Jennifer Love Hewitt play a mother-daughter con team. Weaver romances and marries rich men, then Hewitt seduces them, just in time for Weaver to "mistakenly" walk in on them. She files for divorce, and she splits the settlement with her daughter. After some strange circumstances find them low on funds, Hewitt agrees to help her mother one last time. The target? A repulsive, phlegm hacking Gene Hackman (His name ironic and appropriate considering the nature of this role) as a cigarette company big wig. Along the way, Hewitt tries to branch out on her own, and ends up crossing paths with Jason Lee, as the owner of a seaside bar. After some initial conflicts (all from Hewitt), the two slowly find themselves falling in love with each other. Meanwhile, Ray Liotta is attempting to track Weaver down to convince her to take him back, (he was the jilted husband at the beginning of the film) and of course, he ends up finding out about the whole scam.

As the con team, Weaver and Hewitt play off each other very well. The jibes and barbs seem genuine, and they are interesting, if untrustworthy characters. However, Weaver's Russian accent got on my nerves, as I kept expecting her to say "WE HAVE TO KILL MOOSE AND SQUIRREL, BORIS!" Hewitt shows promise in breaking her cliched "scream queen" persona, and Hackman gives the most convincing argument for quitting smoking I've ever seen. Liotta's role is largely forgotten until the last third of the film, when his true slimyness emerges unchecked.

Lee's character, although likeable, is a flake. A nice guy, but not bright enough to give Hewitt the boot after her first few rude comments. I guess he doesn't believe in bad first impressions.

Overall, My wife and I sat confused in the theatre as the end credits rolled. Too many twists, too many cons. By the final half hour, NOBODY in their right mind in that cast should have been talking to one another, LET ALONE trusting each other! When Liotta decided to trust the ladies to get his money back, RIGHT AFTER HE THREATENED TO KILL THEM BOTH, that just sunk our opinion of the script writers right there.

We also noticed something funky with the lighting. On occasion, in scenes where Hewitt was the focal point of the camera, the image appeared slightly dark and grainy, but when it would switch back to Weaver or whomever she was talking with, the image appeared fine. This happened in at least two different scenes, in two different locals. Very strange cinematrography there.

Also, the scene in the trailer and commercial that shows Weaver and Hewitt in a sports car driving across a bridge tossing money out left and right, DID NOT appear in the film at all. Crazy.

I would recommend waiting until this comes out on video. Then, you can rewatch the truly funny scenes (and there are several, just not a non-stop amount) over and over, you'll pay less than at the theatre, and you can pause it if you need to get up. Trust me, it's a better bargain that way.

*** end of FIRST review ***

*** beginning of SECOND review***

Now, the second review is for all those men who are just going to see "Heartbreakers" to see Hewitt wear tight cleavage bearing outfits.

ME LIKE JENNIFER!!!!! JENNIFER HOT!!!! SHE REAL PRETTY!!!! ME LIKE ME LIKE!!!! She wear tight clothes!!!! Bends down a bunch!!!! Pretends to do ORAL SEX!!!! ME LIKE ME LIKE!!!!! SHE REALLY HOT!!!! SHE have NICE RACK!!!! ME want to LOVE HER HEWITTS!!!!! ME.... HEYYYYYYYY WHO SWIPED MY BEER????

*** end of SECOND review ***

So there you have it. A good attempt with fine performances, but a confusing trail of cons and twists, and a ridiculously improbable ending. But if Jennifer Love is your girl, you'll be VERY satisfied. :^)

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Stay Tuned (1992)

6/10

Silly, but ultimately satisfying TV spoof.

1 April 2001

"Stay Tuned" introduces us to the depressing world of Roy Knable, a man whom lives for television. When his wife Helen tosses a bowling trophy through the TV set in a desperate attempt to gain her husband's attention, he finds himself in the market for a replacement set... and thats where "Spike" comes in. Spike seems to be simply a pushy cable tv salesman, until we see that Spike works for the Devil himself!

Soon Roy and Helen find themselves sucked into the world of bad cable tv, filled with bizarre spoofs of Wayne's World, Driving Miss Daisy, MTV, 1940's black and white mystery movies, stereotypical westerns, and so on. The catch? They must stay alive for 24 hours, at which point they are allowed to come back to Earth. If they die in that time frame, their souls are doomed to hell forever.

As Roy and Helen, John Ritter and Paw Dawber are the perfect real-life sitcom graduates to play the suffering couple. Along the way, they deal with Spike (played by Jeffrey Jones - best known as Principal Rooney in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off") dogging their every move, and they make friends with Eugene Levy, as a demon executive cast off into the TV dimension by a threatened Spike.

Although the TV parodies skirt the line between wildly funny and clever, and dull and uninspired, the performances from the excellent cast make this better than it probably should be. The Underworld Wrestling Foundation sequence seems like it could have inspired MTV's current pop-culture parody, "Celebrity Deathmatch". And be sure to pay close attention to the animated "Robocat" sequence, directed by cartoon legend Chuck Jones, and featuring styles and motifs borrowed from Warner Bros classics, and Tom & Jerry shorts.

"Stay Tuned" is a funny film that although somewhat dated now, still manages to provide a wild ride.

Oh yeah, there IS a quick scene involving the sitcom that John Ritter is best known for, and it's one of the funniest moments in the film. Don't blink, or you may miss it! :^)

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Roger & Me (1989)

8/10

Important documentary on the callousness of big business.

26 March 2001

"Roger and Me" follows documentary film maker Michael Moore on his efforts to confront GM president Roger Smith about his controversial closing of the Flint Michigan GM plant.

It begins with a small history of the town, showing Flint's heyday as a thriving, prosperous community proud of it's General Motors based economy. Real footage from the 50's and 60's is mixed with Moore's home movies, to make a "Wonder Years"-esque opening to the film.

Things take a horrible turn for the worse when GM closes it's main plant, laying off thousands of folks, with more closings and firings in the years to come. We see neighborhoods go from prosperous and happy to largely abandoned, with eviction notices haunting the remaining souls that stay around. Efforts to rehire auto plant workers at local businesses such as Taco Bell largely fail, as does a desperate and laughable attempt to reinvent Flint as a tourist attraction. Case in point... the Autoworld indoor theme park that closed within a year of it's grand opening. When you watch the scene that shows the animatronic auto plant worker singing a love song to the robot arm about to replace it... don't be surprised if you feel a nauseating mixture of absurd irony, and callousness on the part of GM.

Do not expect this movie to have a feel good ending. It does not, nor does it even attempt to. It simply presents the cold harsh reality of the situation. And make sure to be prepared to turn away during the second time that Moore visits the woman that sells rabbits for "pets or meat". Most people understandably get rather squeamish when the woman kills and skins a rabbit on camera, that she had just been cuddling in the scene before.

"Roger and Me" will probably be stocked in the comedy section in your local video store (as it was in mine), but aside from some clever jibes at those that stand in his way, and the ridiculous out-of-touchness of the high-falutin rich ("There's LOTS to do in Flint... there's the BALLET for instance!!!") most of the movie is a depressing trip through the rapid decline of a once thriving town. This is not to say it's a bad film... on the contrary, it is QUITE good, and should be required viewing for anybody that continues to exhibit a blind faith of the American business structure.

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Knocking on Death's Door (1999)

7/10

Very tense parapsychological thriller.

22 March 2001

My wife and I stumbled across "Knocking on Death's Door" last night while flipping the channels, but we found it captivating enough that we stayed with the film right up to the closing credits. We missed the first few minutes, so some establishing facts and character development were probably lost, but the story goes like this. Brian Bloom and Kimberly Rowe play newlywed parapsychologists whom move into a well-known "haunted house". Various ghostly phenomena begins to occur, such as a piano playing "London Bridge is Falling Down" by itself (and it's NOT a player piano), chalk slowly scrapes on the basement floor to gradually reveal more and more information on the ghost's history, camera lenses ice over, and so on. The spectral activity becomes focused on the moments when the young couple make love, as if the ghost (or ghosts) have developed a crush on Rowe's character. What follows is a tense thriller with anything from fair and campy special effects at times to excellent and chilling visuals in others that will leave you at the edge of your seat. (Luckily for the viewer, there are much more of the latter than the former.)

David Carradine and Kimberly Rowe play their roles quite well, emoting an uneasy sleaziness (in the case of Carradine), or a gentle inquisitiveness (Rowe) that lend credibility to the storyline. Brian Bloom, playing Rowe's husband, and the recipient of much of the ghostly violence (he is thrown against a wall by unseen forces when he hugs his wife...) seems to be the weak link as the actors go. Sometimes Bloom appears disinterested, other times he seems to be somewhat "medicated", but that doesn't detract from the overall enjoyability of the film.

Also notable is the eroticism displayed early on. The intimate scene between Bloom and Rowe is playful and loving, and Rowe truly has a breathtakingly beautiful body. A later scene wherein the two newlyweds are in separate rooms and Rowe pleasures herself as she watches her husband disrobe on camera is at once lovely and wildly erotic.

I have a feeling that had this movie been released in the early to mid 80's, it probably would've become one of the early "Amityville Horror" sequels, but even without a movie franchise tie in, "Knocking on Death's Door" is clever horror with good twists and a tense atmosphere that slowly builds throughout the whole film. Strongly recommended.

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Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987)

6/10

Hello Mary Lou, goodbye heart... and your life!

14 March 2001

Warning: Spoilers

Time has a way of distorting things when you get older. Case in point... In 1983, a one-hit-wonder musical artist named "Rockwell" released a song called "Somebody's Watching Me". The video for the song freaked me out as a kid with it's grotesque zombies with dripping flesh, skeletal creatures hiding behind curtains, and vicious mutant dogs chasing the camera. I didn't see that video again for about 15 years. When I finally caught it again, I was severely let down. The zombies? Just dopey guys in zombie suits, no dripping flesh at all. The skeletal creature behind the curtain was just where you see the bare feet of SOMEBODY standing behind the curtain, it could've been a naked Jennifer Love Hewitt for all I knew. And the vicious mutant dog? Just a pig. That's right, a pig.

The point is, I had built this video up to be something that it wasn't over the years. I had vague snippets of the real video in my mind, that I (unknowingly) embellished on, until I had created a truly horrific visual that was miles ahead of the real thing.

The same thing happened to me concerning "Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2" I saw this one for the first time about 10 years ago, and last weekend, I re-rented it, because I remembered it being this great nail-biting horror that was written and acted superbly. I should stop listening to myself.

*DUCK!!! HERE COME THE SPOILERS!!!!*

"Mary Lou" is not a BAD, BAD, BAD, horror film as the "official" reviewer cleverly denounces, but it's not outstanding either. The plot is as such... in 1957, a trampy girl named Mary Lou Maloney dumped her prom date for another guy, and then proceeded to be voted prom queen. The jilted date, bent on revenge, climbs on the catwalk above the stage where Mary Lou is waving her tiara, and tosses a smoke bomb at her. But the bomb's fuse lights Mary Lou's dress on fire, and she quickly succumbs to a fiery death. Flash forward to '87. A quiet and comely girl is in the running to be that years prom queen. Slowly, she seems to toughen up her attitude and image, until it is clear that this long dead prima donna has targeted her as a vessel for returning to this world. The quiet girl's friends are all massacred, several in very clever ways (the crushing lockers are cool), until a Carrie-esque prom queen coronation scene succeeds in killing lots of innocents and bringing Mary Lou back to life. She eventually ends up being defeated by the principal and his son, and sent back to hell... or was she?

There are lots of unanswered questions and holes in the plot, such as...

One of the girls finds a chest in a storeroom of the school that contains Mary Lou's dress, sash, and tiara. WHY WOULD THE SCHOOL HAVE KEPT THOSE ITEMS?????

The girls mention the dress "killed" the last person that wore it... but the dress had no fire damage or even soot on it.

It's never explained what exactly Mary Lou hoped to accomplish by coming back. And why 30 years later? Why not the 10 year anniversary of her death, or hell, the DAY AFTER????

The police must not have been that great back in '57, because it is STRONGLY implied that the jilted date GOT AWAY with murder, even though the camera clearly shows him yelling "FOR GOD'S SAKE, HELP HER!!!" from the catwalk. Nobody else noticed that???

And I find it quite hard to believe that the same jilted prom date and murderer ended up being the principal of the same high school where he killed a classmate.

All that being said, it's still a fair attempt at the genre. It owes a lot to the Nightmare on Elm Street series, and several effects (the liquid chalkboard, and the "resurrection" of the rapidly healing corpse of Mary Lou) are very similar to effects used in the Elm Street series.

If you have a few hours to kill (pun intentional) on a drab Sunday afternoon, check it out. But please, don't let the you of 10-years-from-now tell you it's a stupendous, mind blowing masterpiece. I learned the hard way.

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Prom Night (1980)

5/10

Seems like the inspiration for a recent slasher series starring Jennifer Love Hewitt.

12 March 2001

I just watched Prom Night for the first time in over ten years, and a few things stuck with me after the viewing.

First of all, after a creepy opening sequence, detailing the cruel, yet accidental death of an innocent girl, the movie CRAWWWWWLLLLSSSSS... In other films of it's genre, such as the superior Friday the 13th series, the murders are usually evenly spread throughout the film, setting the tone for a climactic ending. Not here. The first hour of Prom Night seems like it could be from some long forgotten 70's after school special.

Secondly, it amazed me how much this movie has in common with Jennifer Love Hewitt's hit "I Know What You Did Last Summer". Both movies feature a group of characters that accidentally kill an innocent, then act irrationally as they attempt to avoid blame. They bully each other into promising never to talk about the death ever again. At some future point (one year later in IKWYDLS, six years later in Prom Night...) all the participants receive threatening reminders of their crime as a precursor to the actual murders. Makes me wonder if the producers of IKWYDLS didn't INTENTIONALLY steal the plot, and just change the particulars.

At any rate, Jamie Lee Curtis is always welcome in these slasher films, (even though she looks a little old to play a high school student) and Leslie Nielsen plays the principal of the school whom happens to be Jamie's father.

It's not bad as early 80's slasher go, as the killings (especially the punk whom gets beheaded...) are fairly graphic, but the slow pace really lessens the impact of the entire film.

Also, is it just me, or does the disco music being played at the prom sound like outtakes from an Abba recording session?

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Loser (2000)

7/10

Formulaic, but fun.

10 March 2001

Loser is a movie that plot-wise, we've all seen many times before. One likeable character has bad luck or is dealt a bad hand in life, goes from one wacky mishap to another, and ends up at the end of the movie with the girl, the better outlook on life, and his tormentors get their comeuppance.

Loser, however, does so with genuine heart and emotion for the titular character, Paul Tannek, played by Jason Biggs of "American Pie" fame.

He is abused by his college roommates, even kicked out of the house they share because he studies instead of parties. Along the way, Paul gets to know Dora Diamond (Mena Suvari, from "American Beauty", and also of "American Pie"), a quite girl whom is having an affair with their mutual college professor. It's no secret going in that Paul will eventually romance Dora, and all the "jerk" characters will get what's coming to them. But Biggs and Suvari inject a reality into both of their roles that is refreshing, charming, and end up making this movie lean a little into "teen romantic comedy" territory. Both characters are also shown to be intelligent, considerate people, desperately trying to find each other in a world of selfish, insipid, moronic co-horts.

It may seem corny to say it... but this "Loser" is a definite "winner"!

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Me, Myself & Irene (2000)

5/10

The Baileygates boys were the funniest part of the film.

10 March 2001

It's kind of sad when the supporting characters get more laughs than the big stars, but that's what you'll likely be facing when watching "Me Myself and Irene".

The Baileygates boys are three... well... ethnically different young men from their "father", Officer Charly Baileygates, played by Jim Carrey. His sons exist as a clever spoofing of the movie concept that all young African American males must be portrayed as foul-mouthed, obnoxious, low class, sex maniacs. The Baileygates boys do drop obscenities, but while debating topics such as hacking into the Pentagon's computer files, how to read a helicopter flight manual in German, the breakdown of subatomic particles in molecules, and given the average size of a chicken's egg (in both centimeters and inches), would one indeed be able to be shoved up someone's ass? These young men certainly steal the show.

The rest of the movie follows a predictable madcap zany adventure involving Charly Baileygates, as a Rhode Island police officer with a split personality, and Irene P. Waters, played disinterestedly by Renée Zellweger. Seems Irene is being framed over embezzling money from a golf course, and Charly (and his alter ago Hank) take it open themselves to protect Irene from the crooked agents and confused cops that are after her. One scene in which Charly and Hank "battle" for control of Charly's body, is more fascinating than funny. You'll wonder how many times Carrey had to practice to make it appear that an invisible man was pulling him up, and tossing him through plate glass windows.

Overall, the Baileygates boys save this film from complete boredom... if only Carrey and Zellweger could've as well.

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The Mexican (2001)

4/10

More of a Roberts/Gandolfini buddy picture, than a Roberts/Pitt romantic comedy.

5 March 2001

Warning: Spoilers

*** SPOILER ALERT!!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!! *** *** EVERYBODY LOCK YOUR DOORS!!!!! ***

When it comes to movies, I seem to be an atypical guy. Most guys I know cringe at the thought of seeing a romantic comedy, "chick flicks" they call them, yet I embrace them.

Movies are just stories acted out and put on film. The way I see it, if the plot is solid, and the actors give good performances, I'll get sucked in no matter whether it's a rip roarin' adventure, a political thriller, a slapstick comedy, a scary slasher film, or a "chick flick". So, I went into "The Mexican" looking to be entertained. I wasn't.

The plot follows Brad Pitt on a job from the mob to steal a legendary antique gun, known as "The Mexican" from... well... Mexico! This is supposedly Pitt's last job, a fact that Julia Roberts (as Pitt's girlfriend) doesn't care to accept. She drives off in a huff to Las Vegas, where she is kidnapped by James Gandolfini, to be used as "insurance" that Pitt will indeed complete the task at hand.

Okay... the good things. The three principle leads... Roberts, Pitt, and Gandolfini, all play their individual roles well. When Roberts and Gandolfini are in the same scenes, they exude a magnetism that is fun to watch. (Especially when it is revealed that James is homosexual!) Pitt plays a likeable, bumbling criminal, and you really do root for him to complete his task.

The scenery is wonderful, and offers intriguing locals such as a barely lit tunnel through a hill, and various small Mexican towns with very narrow streets.

The little mini-movies that show the legend of the gun are interesting, and are filmed to give them an "artificially aged" looked.

The legend itself was nicely wrapped up in the end, and gave a satisfying feeling of closure.

Now, the bad things...

The movie is marketed as a romantic comedy between Roberts and Pitt. Yet, there are few scenes with both of them together, and when they do play off each other, they bicker and yell and fuss and whine. I don't go to a movie to see that. I've broken up with past girlfriends because we interacted in the same annoying fashion. I sure as hell don't want to spend $8 to see bickering on the big screen!

There is excellent chemistry between Roberts and Gandolfini, which is unlikely for one main reason. He was sent to kidnap her and use her as "insurance". He even hints that should Pitt not complete his task, he may be forced to kill her. SO WHY DOES HE BEFRIEND HER SO QUICKLY??? OR AT ALL????? I know nothing about criminals, but it seems to me that if you are sent to kidnap somebody, you should NOT get emotionally involved with them. You should act as imposing and threatening to them as humanly possibly, so they will discover NO weaknesses of yours, lest they try to get the best of you. Yet, Gandolfini not only befriends Roberts, he confesses to her that he is homosexual, and then has a special night with a postal worker he picks up in a diner! HUH???? WHA?!?!?!?

Too many peripheral characters (and a few supporting roles as well) seem to switch sides too often. I'm all for a twist or surprise ending, but when characters go from being bad to good, to not who you thought they were, to bad to good again, it'll make your head spin.

And one thing that made me want to scream at the screen (except I was in a theater with my wife, and that would've been embarrassing...) was the scene where Roberts is in a Mexican hotel room, and a criminal (or maybe he was a good guy, I don't recall) rushes in, and ransacks the room looking for the gun. He pulls open dresser drawers, flings clothes out of suitcases, overturns trash cans, and then splits. The camera then shows us that Roberts was hiding (with gun strapped to her thigh) IN BETWEEN THE TWO MATTRESSES on the bed!!!!! Okay, I know Julia is slim, but FOR GOD'S SAKE, wouldn't the criminal see that the mattresses weren't laying flat???? Plus, if you are going to ransack a room, and you are looking for something very important, wouldn't you grab the mattresses and toss them to the side???? Under the mattress is one of the most common hiding places in the world! Whether it's extra cash, porno, or your stash, EVERYBODY hides stuff under the mattress. That this criminal was unaware of this, completely frustrated me.

So, in closing, I think that Pitt and Roberts would make a good romantic team, if only they'd (a) spend more than 10% of the movie together, (b) they'd respectfully interact with one another... no more whining!!!, and (c) if it didn't have an madcap adventure caper to back it up.

Thank you. :^)

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Girl, Interrupted (1999)

8/10

Riveting. Simply riveting.

1 February 2001

Originally, I was going to proclaim Girl Interrupted as "a modern day 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest'". Until I remembered that Girl takes place in the late 60's, and I believe that Cuckoo's Nest takes place in the 70's (although I could be wrong...) thus making the modern compliment a little confusing.

Both films deal with asylums and mental illness, but while Nicholson's character slowly slides into madness, Winona Ryder's character (Suzanna) slowly pulls herself out of it. Not that she was totally crazy anyway. She was withdrawn, introspective, and dissatisfied with her lot in life. One botched attempt at a suicide, and the next thing she knows, she's being introduced to everybody at a mental ward. She eventually befriends the women staying there... Daisy, a girl whom only eats chickens from her father's deli, and stores the bones beneath her bed... Polly, a perpetually happy girl whom burned half of her face off as a child... Valerie, a nurse with a very patient demeanor played by Whoopi Goldberg... and then there's Lisa, played by Angelina Jolie. Lisa is a rebel, and is constantly fighting with the doctors and nurses. At first this seems to be because she has everything figured out, and is too smart to be in a mental hospital. But as Suzanna and the audience later discover, that's not the case at all.

Suzanna and Lisa develop an uneasy friendship, and at the times when Lisa turns on Suzanna, the movie takes on a bit of a horror feel, such as the underground scene near the end. It also creates some hilarious scenes, like Suzanna's confrontation with a mother of one of her former classmates in the ice cream shop.

I wasn't aware that Girl Interrupted is actually based on the real life experience of writer Susanna Kaysen. This fact alone gives me even more respect for the film, as I imagine it may be quite difficult for her to revisit that time of her life.

Don't be fooled into thinking this is a "chick flick". True, 90% of the main characters are women, but this is a hard hitting movie that everybody can watch and come away with a slightly different perspective on life. As the tagline says... Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy. How true.

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10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

6/10

Misleading title. Cliched ending.

29 January 2001

Based on the title, it seemed to me that "10 Things I Hate About You" should have been a movie about unlikeable characters doing despicable things to one another with comedic results. Probably a black comedy, perhaps along the lines of "The War of the Roses".

It turns out, however, that the plot is a sweet high school romance story in which several unlikely scenarios play out just right, and everybody ends up happy in the end. The cast works well together, highlighting Joseph Gordon-Levitt's ("Tommy" on NBC's "3rd Rock from the Sun") attempt to romance Larisa Oleynik, whom is not allowed to date until her sister (Julia Stiles) begins to date as well. Unfortunately, Stiles' character is rather bitter at men and life in general, so getting her to date proves a chore until the school criminal played by Heath Ledger comes into the picture.

I wasn't aware that this is actually based on a Shakespeare play. I only read "MacBeth" and "Romeo and Juliet" in school, although because of this movie, I'm now interested in reading "The Taming of the Shrew". (upon which this movie was derived.)

One complaint I must note: In the past year or two, I've seen several movies where either the main plot or a sub plot involves a teenage guy dating a girl for purely selfish reasons (getting paid by friends, trying to win a bet, etc.), but SURPRISE! he ends up falling for her anyway. Then of course, right when the most romantic moment promises to be right around the corner, SURPRISE! the girl finds out and gets her feelings hurt, and then the guy has to convince her that "it's not really like that", and eventually she forgives him and they stay together. It's starting to get a little overused as it's been played out in recent movies as diverse as: Cruel Intentions, She's All That, Carrie 2: The Rage, and now 10 Things I Hate About You.

Maybe Hollywood should start writing some new material, instead of rehashing the popular plot lines of previous films. But then again, I suppose it wouldn't be Hollywood with any real originality, would it?

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Network (1976)

7/10

Prophetic for the 70's, realistic for the present day.

29 January 2001

Warning: Spoilers

Network is a very good film. Paddy Chayefsky gives us a peek into the depressing world of television corporations, ratings, and buy-outs. Peter Finch plays a newsman who learns he is to be fired after 15 years because his ratings have fallen. Angered, he threatens to commit suicide, in front of millions of viewers on his last day in the UBS news studios. The ratings soar after this revelation, so the sleazy bigwigs (headed by Faye Dunaway) attempt to capitalize on the man's loss of sanity by making the evening news focus on his rants, and eventually, graduating him to a show of his own where he can speak out about everything that's wrong in the world. This too, is a ratings triumph, until the newsman starts to discuss more depressing topics, and the ratings start to fall apart.

I now understand why I've heard so much about "Network" over the years. The cast does a fine job of portraying the backstabbing world of television hierarchy, and I can see that upon it's release in 1976, it would become such a "must-see" film.

However, the years have dulled Network's impact, because television REALLY DID get increasingly outrageous as the years passed. I'm not familiar with any show that is quite like Finch's newsman series, but when "reality programming" like Survivor, The Real World, Temptation Island and others are the ratings blockbusters of the modern day... well, it seems that Chayefsky may have seen a window into the future to get the idea for Network. Not to mention the idea that when this movie was made, there was only the big THREE networks, and the idea of a fourth was laughable. Yet, ten short years later, the Fox network emerges, broadcasting some of the earliest shows to "push the envelope", such as "Married With Children", and "A Current Affair". Hmmmmm....

***SPOILER ALERT!!!! LOOK OUT!!!!****

Another interesting note. I noticed a correlation between Network and Warren Beatty's political satire, Bulworth. Both movies feature a main character despondent over his life and role in society until a stimulus "wakes him up" and causes him to preach the truth to the masses. As the main character gets increasingly obnoxious and ballsy, he gains millions of fans who hang on his every word. But tragedy strikes, and the main character's life is cut short by a bullet.

Now, Peter Finch didn't have Halle Berry to kiss and hug on, and Warren Beatty didn't have to deal with Faye Dunaway manipulating his every move, but the basic plot is strikingly similar.

Perhaps Beatty (who directed and wrote Bulworth) has a well worn copy of Network in his movie collection? See them both, and decide for yourself!

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Scary Movie (2000)

This is not the best parody I've ever tasted...

22 January 2001

The late 90's horror renaissance was a perfect target for a well done spoof, but "Scary Movie" doesn't deliver.

It starts off well, with Carmen Electra parodying Drew Barrymore's performance as the first victim in the original "Scream". When she sees the signs in her yard, the one pointing to the left that says "safety", and the one pointing to the right that says "death", now that was promising. Unfortunately, it all went downhill from there.

Scary Movie primarily spoofs Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer, but there are scenes interspersed that goof on The Matrix, Halloween H20, the Sixth Sense, Scream 2, American Pie, Porky's, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, "Dawson's Creek", and those Budweiser "WHAZZZZUUUUUUUP" commercials. That whazzzzzuuuuuuup scene was one of the funnier scenes in the film.

I enjoyed how they tied the establishing plots of both Scream and IKWYDLS together, but it seemed strange to have the killer in this one be wearing the same costume as ghostface from Scream. He used Ben Willis' hook from IKWYDLS, but too many of the scenes seemed like they could have been REAL scenes from a Scream film. Keep in mind that the Scream series was intended as a parody of the 80's slasher films, so in effect, we are watching a spoof of a spoof. Can you imagine if somebody made a parody of "Airplane" and called it "Jumbo Jet"? You probably wouldn't expect much, and in the case of "Scary Movie", you don't get much either.

And enough with all the ridiculous sexual jokes. I like funny sex jokes as much as the next guy, but with every other scene having blatantly goofy sexual images being thrust at you (um... er...), shoved down your throat (um... sorry...), being the FOCAL POINT (there!) of the entire scene, it gets very boring after a short time. It's like the movie is saying "LOOK LOOK LOOK!!! THIS IS FUNNY!!! AND IT'S DIRTY!!!! THIS IS REALLY FUNNY AND NAUGHTY!!!" Puh-lease.

It was fun picking out the movie and character references that scenes were "borrowed" from, but for the most part "Scary Movie" didn't live up to the hype. Perhaps "Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th" will be better.

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Private Parts (1997)

9/10

Excellent look at the life of everybody's favorite "shock jock"

8 January 2001

Let me begin by saying that although I am a fan of shock radio (I've been a regular listener of Washington DC based duo Don & Mike for over 10 years...), I rarely get a chance to hear Howard Stern. I was only vaguely familiar with his program, and the folks on it. That being said, I absolutely LOVED "Howard Stern's Private Parts". Wait... that didn't come out right... anyway...

HSPP follows Stern's career from being the misunderstood son of a radio engineer with aspirations of the big time, through his student film days at Boston University, where he meets and marries his wife Allison, to his first big radio gig at DC101. The humor comes from Stern's slow realization that pushing the envelope was the way to garner HUGE ratings. His arguments with management, and Paul Giamatti as Kenny "Pig Vomit" Rushton in specific are at once both hilarious and sad, as management tries to crush Stern's free spirit.

It's also nice to see that, yes, Howard Stern is really a nice guy, a devoted friend, and a loving father, and the image that we know as "Howard Stern" is really just an act. Although he did make some questionable decisions in his life, he always stood by those who stood by him, and for that, he should be admired.

Whether you are a fan or not, check this movie out, and see if you don't come away from the experience with a smile on your face, and a respect for the self-proclaimed "King of all Media"!

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Visiting Hours (1982)

4/10

Just didn't gel for me.

8 January 2001

"Visiting Hours" is a movie I have wanted to see for years, due to... well... its cool poster. I admit it. I was a kid when it came out on video, and I thought the picture of the hospital at night with the image of a skull appearing in the matrix of the lighted rooms was just the coolest thing I'd ever seen.

When I finally got around to renting it this past weekend, I was quite disappointed.

The basic plot is that an outspoken tv host (Lee Grant) criticizes a guest on her show because he defended a known criminal in court. Soon, Grant is attacked by a psycho in her own home, played by Michael Ironside, perhaps best known as Daryl Revoc in "Scanners". Grant manages to defend herself so that she is not killed, yet injured, so she is sent to the hospital to recover. Ironside follows. Along the way, we meet a young nurse whom decides to "watch over" Grant's character. Okay. That all seems typical for a slasher, but so much is missing.

Grant simply goes through the motions in her role. At the end of the movie, I felt neither sympathy or compassion for her character, and frankly, didn't care what happened to her. I did enjoy the performance given by Linda Purl as Shiela Monroe, the caring, young nurse who puts her life on the line for her patient. However, just when it seems that Purl will be the heroine, she is taken out of commission! HUH? WHA?!?!

Ironside is good as the psycho, but has very few lines of dialogue. We do get to see some flashbacks, to attempt to explain/justify his violent behavior. This is an interesting change from most slasher films that either don't explain a killer's motives, or do it by exchanging dialogue between other characters.

William Shatner has a small role as the producer of the tv show that Grant works on. His acting is not the expected "Captain Kirk" style, but more subdued, and is a nice surprise.

The gore effects are scant, limited to very brief glimpses of slicings and stabbings. There is a nice effect when the killer smashes his arm down on some glass shards, but that's it.

I am a fan of horror, and some of my favs are Creepshow, Alien, and the Friday the 13th series, but all things considered, "Visiting Hours" just didn't gel for me.

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Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999)

7/10

An unlikely feel-good hit...

7 January 2001

What I mean is that "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo" ends up with everybody (except perhaps Antoine) in better positions that when the movie began, and it does so in a way that is intelligent.

Sure, it has its juvenile humor, but most of the gags are farmed from Rob Schneider's clever ways out of uncomfortable situations. Sure, Duece has a run of bad luck, but unlike most movies, where he would be portrayed as a bumbling idiot, Schneider gives Bigalow intelligence, subtle maturity, and most importantly, likeability.

Duece cleans fishtanks for a living, and finds himself apartment sitting for a rich (and intimidating) gigolo. One wacky mishap causes the gigolo's place (and expensive fishtank) to be ruined, so Duece searches for a way to find the money needed to repair and clean everything back to normal. Enter Eddie Griffin as T.J., whom introduces Duece to the job of male prostitution... excuse me... Man-Whoring!

Duece does bring the women that pay for his services PLEASURE, but not of the sexual manner. Instead he finds inventive ways to help them look past their flaws (and there are MANY), and feel better about themselves. Along the way, Duece meets his dream girl (Duece was paid by her friends to go out with her...) and the two fall head over heels in love. We are also introduced to Detective Chuck Fowler, whom constantly badgers Duece with threats of legal action, and uncomfortable questions about his... well, you'll just have to see it.

Rob Schneider has created a charming character that could easily transfer to other movies and plot. Perhaps "Duece Bigalow - Porn Company CEO", or "Duece Bigalow - doctor of the toe"? Okay, okay, that's stupid... but I wouldn't be surprised if Schneider creates another Duece Bigalow movie with as much heart as this one.

One final thing... if you're a girl, could you please get me the sea snails from the bottom of the really cold tank??? :^)

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Curtains (1983)

7/10

Some people would do anything for a part!

7 January 2001

Curtains is an intriguing horror film of the slasher genre. Rather than following the cliched "hack and slash, hack and slash, final confrontation with the unstoppable killer" motif of so many Friday the 13th and Halloween sequels, this one keeps us asking questions.

The basic story is this: Samantha Sherwood (played by Samantha Eggar) wants to portray an insane character in a movie directed by Jon Stryker (John Vernon) so badly, that the two hatch up a plot to put her in an insane asylum for a while so she can "learn what THEY know".

However, while in the asylum, Sherwood reads a headline in Variety that Stryker has opened up a casting call at his house for the very role she was promised. Sherwood gets out of the asylum with help from a friend, and confronts the director at his home, while the hopeful actresses look on. Then, slowly, the actresses are murdered. Who's doing it? Sherwood? Stryker? Perhaps BOTH Sherwood and Stryker? Somebody entirely different? And whats with that creepy doll baby with the sad face? And speaking of faces, what about the killer's penchant for wearing a hideous old witch mask?

The acting is above average for this type of film, and tension leading up to each killing is masterfully enacted. (Especially the poor girl whom has to flee into a prop department surrounded by freaky mannequins, or the skater seeing that hideous old-witch-masked-killer skate right towards her with a hook in hand!) All that said, it's interesting the slayings are not bloody at all. Several of them occur off screen. But this is a good thing, as the human mind can always conjure up an infinitely more grotesque death sequence that even the best special effects can produce.

This movie also has a mild hint of eroticism floating throughout it, although there is no sex scene in the traditional sense. You see a few shots of a topless woman with a guy in a hottub, but these are short and viewed from far away. One of the most riveting scenes is when one actress slowly opens a blouse to caress the naked breast of one of the other actresses. A hearty kudos to the writer whom came up with the reasoning behind this scene!

My only complaints come with the sometimes jerky plot line, and throughout the movie, you may be find yourself confused by some scenes that just don't seem to flow together well.

In closing, Curtains is a well done horror film that deserves to be hunted down on the back shelf of your local mom-and-pop video store.

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What Women Want (2000)

6/10

Great premise, but falls flat.

1 January 2001

Mel Gibson plays a chauvinistic ad exec who finds himself suddenly able to hear women's inner thoughts. Helen Hunt is the woman who beat him out for a promotion, hence Mel befriends her to steal her best ideas out of her mind and pass them off as his own. As the plot progresses, Gibson begins to feel guilty over his idea theft, plus, he starts to fall for Hunt, even as she is falling for him.

The premise is good, and Gibson appears to really enjoy his role. The "inner thoughts", especially of his daughter (played by Ashley Johnson), and of coffee house employee Lola (the always delightful Marisa Tomei) are a laugh riot. Of course, we all know that the movie will take more of a serious tone once Mel's conscience starts to bug him. But the ending wraps everything up so abruptly, that you sit and stare at the ending credits in disbelief! It really seems that there should have been another 10 minutes or so between Gibson and Hunt that ended up being compressed into the last 60 seconds.

Several decent subplots float around as well such as as Johnson's preparation in going to her prom with a much older guy, Tomei's internal reluctance to be hurt again, and Judy Greer's role of Erin, a quiet coworker of Gibson's that is contemplating suicide.

It's also nice to see Alan Alda and Bette Midler in unexpected cameo roles.

It's a funny film with good acting, but the insultingly goofy explanation for HOW Mel obtains his powers, and the unlikely romance between Gibson and Hunt, coupled with that abrupt ending, makes the movie fall flat in my eyes.

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Lost in America (1985)

6/10

Great comedy, and quite an 80's time capsule.

27 December 2000

Lost In America is one of those movies that I always meant to see, but never remembered to rent. A few weeks ago, I finally got a chance to see it, and I loved it.

Albert Brooks and Julie Hagerty are perfect as the classic yuppie couple that decide to set out on the open road after a series of strange circumstances. Brooks' rave-out on his boss at the beginning of the film is priceless, as is his interaction with the unemployment office worker in the midwest... "I'll just check my $100,000 a year job file." Brooks is also great when he tries to reason with the casino owner, and arguing with Hagerty over her inability to use the words "nest" and "egg". "From now on, birds live in ROUND STICKS!!!, for breakfast, you will have THINGS over easy!!!!"

Most of the best dialogue and scenes are delivered from Brooks, but Hagerty is quite good as well, as the timid wife whos honest, yet HUGE blunder sets the tone for the rest of the film.

My only complaint is that it seemed about a half hour too short. When they decide to return to New York, I would've allowed one more wacky situation on the way back home, but it was not to be. It left me feeling that the ending was a bit rushed. But this is a minor complaint from a great film that deserves to be seen over and over.

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Scanners II: The New Order (1991)

6/10

Decent sequel.

18 December 2000

Nothing can match the brilliance of David Cronenberg's original Scanners, but this first sequel does a good job of coming close.

The plot is essentially the same. Nice guy scanner doesn't understand his powers, hones his abilities, and eventually enters into a scanning war with an evil scanner. Some details are changed here and there, such as the police chief who wants to use scanners to accomplish a radical new shift in local government, and the long lost sister of the nice guy scanner that enables the hero to "possess" a target as opposed to scan him to death.

Scanners 2, like the original, has a reputation for being terribly gory. In reality, there are only two scenes of true gore, (an exploding head, and a spurting tumor on the back of a criminal's neck) but plenty of people flung against walls from unseen mental forces. A few folks end up with deformed faces, but no blood. The final climactic battle is very toned down, and results only in a burned-out corpse shown briefly.

The plot does have some references to the protagonists from the original film, but it is not necessary to see the first movie before seeing this one.

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