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Reviews
Love in the Villa (2022)
Cliche-riddled hokum
A critic once wrote that Netflix has a habit of throwing mass quantities of content at the wall and seeing what sticks. Trust me folks, this mess never made it to the wall. Love In The Villa starts off well when we meet the teacher, Julie, reading Romeo & Juliet to her grade-school class. It seems the class would rather feed their pet snake. Then the obligatory gay fellow teacher waltzes in and it's all downhill from there. If his fake falsetto were any higher he'd break the windows. Next she's off to meet Brandon, the boyfriend of four years, to discuss their trip. It's hard to believe Julie, who is obviously intelligent, would put up with this schmoe for four years, let alone go with him on a romantic getaway to Italy. But go she does, alone, and, after putting up with delayed flights and lost luggage, she arrives in Verona, home of Romeo and Juliet. The movie's last laugh occurs when she realizes the less-than-stellar building she's staying in does not match the cheerful picture online.
Once inside the villa she meets Charlie, who has been renting the same villa for the same week for six years. I don't know about you, but as a living, breathing male of the species, I'd say Charlie would be lucky to find Julie looking to share the villa instead of treating her like dirt. Is this guy that empty-headed that he'd rather fight with Julie over the accommodations instead of finding a way to make it with her? The hits keep coming when Silvio, the host, shows up and blames the double booking on his wife AND his girlfriend. At this point I realized the makers of this drivel had used up all of the available clichés and I quickly hit the off button. Avoid this before you waste time you'll never get back.
Resolution (2012)
Low-key fright night
I admit I like low-budget horror movies with low-key fright and a cast of unknowns, except for the great Zahn McClarnon, who takes his intense Native American role from 'Longmire' to a darker level. Just be sure to stick around for the final credits. The song performed behind them, 'Stoneback Ridge,' is alone worth the price of admission. When is this instant classic going to be available as an MP3?
Nymphomaniac: Vol. I (2013)
Stand-out performances mark this fine film
I have a feeling I am not alone thinking this movie, sight unseen, features non-stop sex. It doesn't. It's also not soft porn with a provocative title. There's nothing left to the imagination when it comes to the sex scenes, but that's quite refreshing when the movie surrounding those scenes is equally well done. The cast is terrific, starting with Stellan Skarsgard as the man who brings the older Joe (the wonderfully vulnerable Charlotte Gainsbourg) home after finding her injured in an alley (the cause is not explained) and listens as she expounds on her life to date. Joe describes her life as a series of chapters, some with explicit sex, some without (the lovely Stacy Martin plays the young, sexually adventurous Joe). One chapter that does not include sex is Chapter 3. Titled 'Mrs H,' it features a bravura performance by Uma Thurman as the jilted wife for one of Joe's lovers. When "Mr H" turns up unannounced with his suitcases, "My darling, I'm yours, I left her," Mrs H is right behind him with their three young sons. "We wanted to be sure he got here safely," she tells Joe. Once inside the apartment, she wants her boys to know the magnitude of what is happening to them. Joe is shocked when Mrs H asks her "Would it be alright if I showed the children the whoring bed?" Reciting a few of her lines does not do Ms Thurman's performance justice. If this were a more mainstream movie we'd be talking Oscar. In the Director's Cut film, chapter 3 starts with about an hour left in the movie. You can always jump ahead if you like. Me? I finished the film and went back and watched Chapter 3 again.