Reviews
A Beautiful Mind (2001)
You can only say this film is average at best. (mild spoiler).
I've never really liked films which glorify people while they're still alive and despite all the problems we see Nash go through, there is just something wrong with it, it all seems very vain. Like when Margaret Thatcher and Bobby Robson unveiled their statues here in England recently, tributes like that should be reserved for the dead.
Besides, the film wasn't very good anyway, I didn't really think Crowe was Oscar material as Nash mumbling with that silly accent through it all. Connelly (I can't believe that was the girl from 'Labyrinth'!)dutifully just did what she had to and the relationship between the two was wooden at best. Ron Howard never really made us understand how any woman could be attracted to this man, probably because we never got to appreciate Nash's genius as we saw him most of the time as a right weirdo.
Having said all that, I liked the idea that the 'doctors' this time were actually trying to help him and not conventionally the bad guys. I only wish I was able to leave the cinema understanding more of why Nash won the Nobel prize and the contributions he gave us. Still, the film has just enough intrigue to keep the ball rolling. 5/10.
Minority Report (2002)
Very, very disappointed in Spielberg.
This time, Spielberg has tried to be too clever for his own good. For a storyline that brings up so many fascinating philosophical issues (such as predetermination and free will), the chance to make a classic is wasted. Stevo wants us to take him seriously, but when a chased man in a tightly secured future world can escape about fifty heavily-armed cops coming right at him from all directions, be able to then get back into the PD as a fugitive by just bringing along his eye with him and then having his wife do it again is ridiculous to say the least. Some people may be ok with this, but I need a little more from my films (unless Arnie's in it cos you're just prepared for the ridiculously unbelievable then). The ending was a HUGE let-down, nothing to save the film there. Also, why did all the actors feel it necessary to mumble through their lines? The story is confusing enough as it is, let alone having to keep rewinding the tape to try and decipher what they were all saying.
I can't even commend the storyline for being original, practically the same one was used in an episode of 'Sliders' that was made years before this film started production. All in all, a poor effort. 3/10.
Prêt-à-porter (1994)
Tries to show us what it's all about.
Just as mindless and boring as the modelling industry itself. So I guess Altman got that bit right. This is exactly how I'd expect this industry to be like; full of superficial and pompous people who contribute nothing useful to the world (a bit like most studio execs), not even decent clothes by the looks of it! Summed up by the final show that's so ridiculous, it demonstrates how it has all gone too far. Also, where celebrity status is everything, hence the big deal about showing Cher, Jean-Paul Gaultier, Harry Bellafonte etc.
Alas, Kim Basinger is fooling nobody with that accent, the scenes with Tim Robbins and Julia Roberts were completely useless, there was no need for them. A waste of talent in all areas as well with too many silly storylines for 2 hours worth of film.
Radioland Murders (1994)
Whoa, slow down!
The fast-pace and changing of scenes every 5 seconds in this film gave me a splitting headache. Hey, maybe the director deliberately did this to emphasise the confusion and turmoil that's going on? It just didn't work.
So the audience never gets to appreciate all the one-liners in there, like 'Don't jump or I'll shoot!'. Heh heh, my fav one of the film. It nearly makes up for all the awfully done slapstick humour.
It's not much of a mystery either, I figured out who the murderer was nearly halfway through the flick and I'm usually wrong about those sort of things. Give it a miss.
Spaceballs (1987)
How can you go wrong taking the mick out of Star Wars? Just ask Mel Brooks.
To be fair to Mel, there were some moments of pure comic genius. Like when the bad guys can see themselves on TV playing themselves in the movie, if you know what I mean.
Alas, there is not enough funny stuff to keep the ball rolling, despite the likes of Candy and Moranis in there. Some of the characters were really poor, like that yogurt fellow. Mel Brooks, as with 'men in tights', could and should have done better. Shame on him.
Just to add that the lack of music in some scenes made them very stark... tut tut.
The Conversation (1974)
Could be better if remade today.
Plot's a good one, but typical of the time, they tried their best to make the film as draggy as possible. Too much time is spent focusing on the main character Harry's (Hackman) problems, e.g. his paranoia and loneliness.
While character depth is all very nice, it was much more exciting when we saw Harry trying to put all the pieces of the conversation he heard together. And how the more he understood and discovered, the deeper and deeper he sank into trouble.
This film was good for it's time (especially after the Watergate scandal, a mere coincidence), but suits a faster-paced script without an Italian director trying and failing miserably to be the next Fellini (Coppola should've put even more boring scenes for that!). I reckon James Cameron could do a better job today, just as long as he doesn't cast Arnie as the main lead!
Airport (1970)
Would you trust Dean Martin piloting your plane?
Interesting and enjoyable, but I felt some of the characters (e.g. Dino's wife) were too rough around the edges. When the film finished you felt that not all the storylines were satisfactorily resolved, especially considering how long the flick was! However, everyone played their part well, yep, even Dino.
The Creeping Flesh (1973)
Sub-plots better than main storyline.
Apart from the cop-out ending, this is a pretty good creepy yarn with Mr. Cushing and Mr. Lee at their best. Though I think the sub-plots of the daughter and the nutter who escaped the asylum deserved more attention. The monster freak looked a bit naff, maybe he would have been a little more believable if he had looked a bit more like John Prescott.
The Spanish Prisoner (1997)
Steve Martin in a serious role? Now that's funny!
It's been a while since i've watched a good Hitchcockian type thriller and after seeing this film, i'm still waiting. Yeah ok, it was a pretty interesting plot, but by the end everything just seemed completely unbelievable and it was all too quickly rapped up.
Also, I know the lead man's character isn't supposed to be the life of the party, but at least the actor could have made an effort in attempting some facial expressions. The only highlight of the film was Steve Martin showing his serious side.
Spartacus (1960)
They were better off as slaves!
Ok, good movie with lots of great acting (Ustinov especially), but the ending was very unsatisfactory. SPOILER COMING UP: Out of the thousands of people who fought for Spartacus, in the end only his wife and baby son get away and it's not like their future is that safe from the Romans either. He only achieved something on an individual level. They say at the beginning it would take a further 2000 years for slavery to be abolished so it all seemed like a big waste of time. Well, at least it was a fun and enjoyable waste of time, i guess, but it wasn't as good as ol' Ben-Hur.
Cruel Intentions (1999)
A film as sexy as Paul Daniels.
Loads of my friends had seen this film and had told me I should watch it by the time I sat down to watch it on TV. Regrettably they forgot to mention how BAD it was.
Putting to one side the unnecessary overuse of swearing and unlikely concept of 17 year olds behaving in this manner, why were all the lead actors in this film so bad? I had never heard of Ryan Phillippe before and I hope I never hear of him again. Honestly, it doesn't reflect well on women if his skills in bed are as bad as his acting. Sarah Michelle Gellar was also completely miscast. She may have been pretty, but she definitely wasn't sexy. Every scene was so stiff between these two and you end up not really caring what happens in the end.
This film was a thoroughly disappointing excuse for a film. Go watch Les Liasons Dangereux instead.
Caddyshack (1980)
It's The Rodney Dangerfield Show!
Zany events take place in and around an exclusive golf course. I like this film for 3 things only- Rodney, Rodney and Rodney. He takes every opportunity he gets to crack a one-liner: "He called me a baboon, thinks I'm his wife". You're just waiting for Dangerfield to come on again just so the film can pick up.
I was very disappointed with Bill Murray, while I understand hardcore 'shack fans loved him in this role, I didn't. He's a DEADPAN comedian, his scenes especially were just silly and dumb. Which might have been alright if they were funny. I loved Bill Murray in Ghostbusters, but to see him stoop this low, trying to make a joke out of hunting a gopher, was embarrassing.
My advice would be to just fast forward to the scenes that have Dangerfield or the Judge (the late Ted Knight) in them. There the only two guys in this film who get my respect!
Daylight (1996)
Go watch "The Poseidon Adventure" instead
A tunnel to New Jersey collapses. People are trapped inside and surprise, surprise, Stallone has to rescue them. This is pretty run of the mill stuff, not bad, but not particularly good either. Sometimes it's tought to understand what's happening next because it's very hard to always comprehend what Stallone is saying, but what's new?
The Italian Stallion said at the time that if this film was a flop it would be his last action flick ever, so Sly, I'm still waiting to see you in a new version of Hamlet.
Barbarella (1968)
Oh dear, another 60s film lost in space.
This film, if nothing else- is dumb. It's like a really cheap and tacky soft-porn flick that you'd find in a Soho shop's bargain basement. I would tell you the plot, but I wouldn't want to waste your time. Just know that at the beginning, after the opening credits and Jane Fonda's strip have finished, you can turn it off.
Blow-Up (1966)
a poor and pretentious film.
The best part of the film was when it finished. Whatever effect this film had on a 60s audience is completely lost on me. The story is disjointed and too much time is wasted on trying to be arty and weird instead of good. A shame really because the plot about a photographer finding something curious and strange in the background of one of his pictures is an intriguing one, maybe they should have given it to Hitchcock.