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2/10
The best thing about it is the poster
16 December 2011
The best thing was the poster – should the be the OMG Chronicles, not G.M.O.

There is much you can learn from movies. From this one, you can primarily lean how to make a truly dreadful train wreck of a film. There is so much wrong with it, I do not know where to begin, but I will give it a go:

Acting: When the lead man first appeared I thought the acting was pretty bad, but he shines in comparison with some of the rest of the cast. To be honest, it is not the actors fault. If you take a load of native German TV soap-opera stars and force them to speak "film" English (which is evidently not their mother tongue) you are asking for trouble. And this is what you got - inflection, subtlety and expression go out window as the cast concentrates on pronunciation. At the point where one of the actors died, I was actually delighted as it meant I did not have to watch him anymore (this was probably the biggest emotional kick the film gave me).

Script: Again, written by non-native English speakers and this comes shining through. Looking for milk in a supermarket comments like "get the high-temperature milk" caused titters in the audience. In one scene every line seems to include the protagonist's name. The banal dialog just kept on coming - just listen to the crap the priest spews in the trailer and remember – and that is supposed to be the highlight of the film.

General dross: OK, so you have been trapped in a police cell for 16 days. When the doors open, you are sitting quietly with designer 2 day stubble and inform your rescuers you survived "by drinking water from the bowl and eating toilet paper". The stubble thing really annoyed me, some of the cast were perfectly shaved every day, others had designer stubble, with no running water or electricity you have to question how this feat was achieved. Also watch out of the reaction of the "girls" around the door frame when the new sofa arrives, the film suddenly transforms to a toothpaste commercial.

Props: The "show" opens with the lead actor recording a video diary on an Apple Mac. I want know where is bought is battery. Considering the film supposedly happens over months, this Mac kept on going, unlike most of the audience. The nuclear power-plant explosion is also a classic, with debris thrown across the road, but carefully choreographed so that none of the "abandoned" cars were in any danger of getting scratched. Considering the cars were supposedly left months ago, they looked suspiciously clean as if the crew had just parked them. The genetically mutated enemy bought some comic relief, I suspect they used some leftover costumes from the Planet of the Apes.

A terrible film. But then why the two stars? Well I have to admit it is so bad you have to see it to the end just to see what happens and if it can get any worse. (It can). It is like a train wreck, you have to keep watching despite the horror of the movie - the extra star is for that.

I saw its premiere at the Hof Film Fest in August 2011, it has taken ages to be released, I imagine because it is so bad. Assume it will go straight to DVD - buy it, laugh at with a few mates and then never watch it again.
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Four Minutes (2006)
9/10
Brilliant Relationship Drama and 4 minutes you will not forget.
29 October 2006
Really excellent film - the two leading ladies give stella performance as an elderly piano teacher (with some interesting secrets left over from German war times) and as a young, brilliant, but disturbed, pianist.

The backdrop of a women's prison and its local dramas and characters is a fascinating stage as their relationship develops their pasts come influence their actions and trust is built. (And no, it is not one of those touchy, feely Hollywood set-ups, this has real depth).

The "4 minutes" the title refers to, is a film sequence which I personally found incredible, I still get gooseflesh down my back when I think back to it. The audience in the cinema I saw it spontaneously burst in to applause at the end of the 4 minutes.

All in all a thoroughly worthwhile film, although there is quite a bit of German history, some knowledge of this would be of use and I am not sure how it would translate from the original German. Some excellent comedy intersperses the intensity of the drama – but all credit must go to the main actors. Really good – go see it..
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9/10
Really Excellent, but probably best if you have read the book
15 September 2006
It was a masterful achievement bringing the concepts of scent in to a book, bringing it to the large screen has even more challenges, which I believe was superbly overcome in this film. The film is narrated to ensure the audience understands some of the concepts and some parts of the plot were "dumbed-down" to make sure the audience got the point.

Unfortunately, much of the book had to be skipped in the interest of time – much of Grenouille's childhood is glossed over and the bit after the cave visit is completely omitted.

Despite this, the atmospheric sets and brilliant acting (with the exception of a disappointing Mr. Hoffman, who really does not have the stature of a master Parisian perfumer) kept me completely enthralled.

As in the original book, there is quite a bit of nudity, which is tastefully done, but I will be interested to see how this is swallowed in America – it will probably get an 18 rating or be cut down, which is a shame, it was given a 12 rating in Germany.

In summary, a really great film, but probably best if you have read the book beforehand..
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