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Reviews
Time Chasers (1994)
It's 'Back to the Future' if my friends and I made it...
The plot - or whatever semblance of one graces this dreck - is about the evil GenCorp's plan to destroy the world involving a time machine somehow.
Ok: Time machine...evil corporation...doom for all. Never seen that before.
This film is just plain horrible. More campy than a vacation at Yellowstone Park. This bike-riding nerd-in-love creates a time machine out of a Cessna 172. First, if I were him, I'd invent a way for cheap plastic surgery for my face. Second, what was with the Cessna? He can't drive a car, but he has access to a plane? Why not make a time machine out of a Volvo? Third, this love infatuation of his is the feminine version of plaid-clad Al Borland from HOME IMPROVEMENT.
Of course, they travel to the future via grainy and shaky graphics to find out that a large rendition of the "future" has been decimated. Now, truth be told, I skipped over much of the*ahem*content of the film, but suffice it to say that the previous criticism is true. I did manage to catch the fact that a throughly modern aircraft crashes during the Revolutionary War and goes unnoticed. Fun to watch and to laugh at.
BTW: Apparently all 1950s-era cars are restored hotrods and the Mall of the Future looks like the malls of the early 90s for some odd reason...Oh, and don't throw away your old 5.5" floppies, they just might hold the secret of time travel!
Theodore Rex (1995)
Ever wonder what happened to the costumes used in "DINOSAURS"?
I saw it on cable a few weeks ago and, man, this thing was absolutely stupid. Just an abomination on the future, the Whoopster, cops in general, and dinosaurs. If I had to watch this movie again, I think I'd go extinct.
What's the plot? No, seriously, I'm asking. The guy in the dino suit just blunders around alot eating cookies and hitting people with his tail.
Oy vey...
JAG (1995)
Good Military/Lawyer Fun!
Yes, JAG is cliche. Yes, the characters and plots are often predictable. No, this show won't win an Emmy, but so what? Can't hour dramas be fun?
David James Elliot (Cmdr. Harmon Rabb) and Catherine Bell (Col. Sarah MacKenzie) -- and don't forget Adm. Chegwidden, both Lt. Roberts, and the rest -- play the roles of lawyers in the Navy's Judge Advocate General Corps. The show explores the intricacies of the legal system (esp in the military world) and the military itself in a nice fashion, always with topical storylines. Everything from the recent V-22 crashes to the Chinese EP-3 incident to the sinking of the Soviet Kursk has been explored, albeit with different conclusions and scenarios.
For me, watching Law & Order and having a pretty good knowledge of the military makes me view the legal side in a different tint, but that's just me. Also, virtually no ship in the show actually corresponds with a real one name-wise (i.e. the "Carrier" Patrick Henry; the Patrick Henry was a ballistic missile sub long since retired). And are we STILL using F-5 Tigers as stand-in MiGs? Oh well...not a big deal really.
The apparent solving of the mystery of Harm's father and the axing of some cast members (Australian Mic Brumby and Gunny Galindez) makes me wonder how much longer the show can go on. My theory is that it will conclude with Harm and Mac getting married. In a sense, I hope it won't happen because this is a very nice show all to itself that's always new. It's great to watch once in a while or all the time (like your's truly).
Law & Order (1990)
"Hey, I've never heard of anyone being killed by 35" Sony"
Let me give you 10 reasons why I watch this show, either in it's current NBC guise or in rerun form on A&E:
1) Excellent writing throughout, with a different storyline each time (plus those those occasional two-parters and the trilogy, which are also great)
2) Looks real, sounds real, feels real...because it IS real (I'm talkin' about the filming). No plywood backdrops or generic warehouses here. It's all authentic NYC, rusty cars and bums and all (in fact, they often use people 'off the street')
3)Lennie's one-liners: if you watch, you know.
4)The great recurring talents i.e. J.K. Simmons as Dr. Skoda
5)The brilliant actors -- ALL of them (yes, I still have hopes for Elisabeth Roehm)
6)Capt. Cragen's attitude (can also be seen on SVU)
7)Claire and Abbie - 'nuff said
8)Sticks with the story - We don't know about Jack McCoy's sister's neighbor's aunt's dog because we don't need to. Just enough character development to add to the story, no overkill
9)Smart-alek arraignment judges ("My heart bleeds, what's your point?")
10)The show has been on longer than the nation of Eritrea has been independent. NONE of the original cast is still on the show and people are STILL watching it. It has two spinoffs (SVU & CI) and a German version (In Namen des Gesetzes) and the original has been contract renewed to 2005.
In fact, this show is only 5 years older than I am and I love it - can't stop watching it. See, while other NBC franchises like Friends and now-defunct Seinfeld are the Cadillacs attracting the glitz and glamour, L&O is the old Buick wagon that attracts a following from just about every demographic and group that watches TV.
Here's to you, Dick Wolf, for producing such an amazing show.
Stealth Fighter (1999)
Wow...but not in a good way.
About the only accurate thing in the movie is the title. Yes, it does feature an F-117 Nighthawk. Well, sort of. Anything other than close-ups of the actors is either stock footage from other movies or government films. Virtually all of the F-117 is identical to what you'd see on a History Channel special (any of which, by the way, is more worthwhile to watch than this). One of the most laughable scenes is the one in which the Good-Guy-Hero-Extrodinaire flies virtually every variation of the F-16! First, he climbs into the cockpit of an F-15. As he takes off (without removing the wheel chocks, of course!) its your generic F-16. But...my God! By mid-flight, its been magically transformed into a two-seater F-16B trainer! But wait! Now the gray F-16 has altered its paint scheme to become a bluish tiger-stripped Red Flag adversarial training jet!
So many other screw ups and laugh-out-louds that others pointed out, like the Presidential Motorcade consisting of his limo and one other sedan (whatever) as well as the "War Room" consisting of 9 chairs, a table, and a 20" Sony.
As far as the actors go, Ice-T has moved on to bigger and better things, like Law & Order: SVU (an excellent franchise to be a part of).
1/2 out of ***** for plot, storyline, accuracy, and everything else important in a movie.
****1/2 out of ***** for camp value.