This movie isn't worth your time, or your kids' time. It plods along and never gets beyond mediocre. The script is the doldrums, and the characters are blank. Really, save your money and don't see this movie.
Reviews
6 Reviews
The Fantasticks
(2000)
Simply awful
25 May 2003
I've seen The Fantasticks in the village in its original venue and at a large theatre starring Robert Goulet, and I've portrayed El Gallo in two amature productions. I think I know the show well enough to say that this movie is a complete disaster.
The Fantasticks, as written for the stage, relies on several devices to carry its message. The entire production is "fantastical" in that just about everything is realized in the audience's imagination. Things like the wall between the houses (a pole), El Gallo's tree (just a ladder), the suspension of disbelief of Matt and Louisa as they're manipulated throughout the play. Every time the movie does one of these things literally it breaks down the magic of The Fantasticks. Without that intimate magic none of it really makes sense.
The movie has a botched script too - every now and then a glimmer of the real show will surface and get the attention of those who know it, but then it falls apart again. As a result none of the characters really work. We don't believe in the kids - Matt and Louisa's character development must have ended up on the floor in editing. The fathers appear to be more clowns than anything. And El Gallo isn't mysterious or charming enough to woo a preteen in this version. Worse, this script relies on heavy handed use of editing from one setting to another during several of the songs. It's okay once or twice, but this movie is all over the place. In a deleted song, the fathers jump instantaneously to the porch roof for no good reason. It's really preposterous.
As far as the cast goes, all disappoint except Louisa (Jean Louisa Kelly). She has an excellent speaking voice for the role, and a lovely singing voice. Several of her soprano lines were cut, alas, but she does a credible job with a lousy, wandering script. The rest of the main cast appears to be doing a junior class play. El Gallo in particular appears more angry/anxious/wishing-he-had-a-real-job than the suave/confident/paternal figure he's supposed to be. He just throws away several of the key lines in the show like he's reading them for the first time. And if you watch the deleted opening "Try to Remember" you'll be squirming in your seat has he drives his truck while smiling to the camera (the effects folks held back on the little dazzling star flash on his teeth, fortunately). Ugh - a real pity.
Several other reviewers have offered the advice to see the stage play and forget this movie. They're right. Watching this movie will leave you wondering why you wasted your time. Seeing the play done live will touch you profoundly.
The Fantasticks, as written for the stage, relies on several devices to carry its message. The entire production is "fantastical" in that just about everything is realized in the audience's imagination. Things like the wall between the houses (a pole), El Gallo's tree (just a ladder), the suspension of disbelief of Matt and Louisa as they're manipulated throughout the play. Every time the movie does one of these things literally it breaks down the magic of The Fantasticks. Without that intimate magic none of it really makes sense.
The movie has a botched script too - every now and then a glimmer of the real show will surface and get the attention of those who know it, but then it falls apart again. As a result none of the characters really work. We don't believe in the kids - Matt and Louisa's character development must have ended up on the floor in editing. The fathers appear to be more clowns than anything. And El Gallo isn't mysterious or charming enough to woo a preteen in this version. Worse, this script relies on heavy handed use of editing from one setting to another during several of the songs. It's okay once or twice, but this movie is all over the place. In a deleted song, the fathers jump instantaneously to the porch roof for no good reason. It's really preposterous.
As far as the cast goes, all disappoint except Louisa (Jean Louisa Kelly). She has an excellent speaking voice for the role, and a lovely singing voice. Several of her soprano lines were cut, alas, but she does a credible job with a lousy, wandering script. The rest of the main cast appears to be doing a junior class play. El Gallo in particular appears more angry/anxious/wishing-he-had-a-real-job than the suave/confident/paternal figure he's supposed to be. He just throws away several of the key lines in the show like he's reading them for the first time. And if you watch the deleted opening "Try to Remember" you'll be squirming in your seat has he drives his truck while smiling to the camera (the effects folks held back on the little dazzling star flash on his teeth, fortunately). Ugh - a real pity.
Several other reviewers have offered the advice to see the stage play and forget this movie. They're right. Watching this movie will leave you wondering why you wasted your time. Seeing the play done live will touch you profoundly.
The Jungle Book 2
(2003)
A rehash of the original
19 February 2003
Here's the short and sweet review: This was just a rehash of the first film. I found the original pretty flat when I last watched it, and this one is no different. Basically it's wake up, go back to the jungle, fail to notice more narrow escapes, and realize people aren't so bad and go home. For no particular reason we have more bear necessities. Voices were good, animation was standard fare, but the story made for a nice nap for me! Wait for video.
Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie
(2002)
Ho-hum story full of religious dogma and ridiculous characters
21 October 2002
I have to confess my nieveness with regard to this movie. I had never heard of veggie tales, and didn't know that the whole series contains religious messages. So, if you're into such messages, stop reading now!
This movie made me uncomfortable. I took my kids to it on a rainy Saturday when there was no other G-rated flick available. The production was fine, but I've never gone to the multiplex and experienced that dreadful feeling of being in church. It was strange, and to me embarrassing, to be preached to at the movies. And this film dishes it out too - it tells the tale of Jonah, etc., with all the gloom and doom of the biblical text - it's just camouflaged in a cartoon and cleaned up for the kiddies. For example, instead of drawing lots to determine who's responsible for making god mad, the characters play "go fish" in the middle of The Perfect Storm. It was like Veggie-Twilight-bible-zone. It also makes no attempt to go beyond the trite and trivial retelling of Jonah, the pirates, and the whale. And it takes dreadfully long time to get through the whole mess. Probably the sloppiest part was upon his entry into Ninevah, every native was slapping or being slapped with a fish. Ridiculous throughout.
I suppose that if you can handle the preposterous veggie tales concept and a bland retelling of Jonah, then perhaps this movie may be interesting for you. Indeed, there were other viewers around us who seemed to find some value in it and somehow thought it to be new and worthwhile. They were laughing at all the programmed places and commenting at how cute it all was. No offense intended here, but I don't subscribe to such routine and this movie was a big waste of time. My kids were bored with it too.
Despite my distaste for the religious, I'd have enjoyed the movie had there been even a hint of talent in the writing. Everything was flat and uninspiring. Nothing was done to the story to make it less pointless than the original, no attempt was made to provide any character with substance, and lots of time was spent in the traditional manner trying to create meaning from a fable. In contrast, John Lassiter and his crew have shown that an animated feature can have depth, significance at every level, and technical competence, and be a big hit. This movie had none of those things.
I'll be back to the movies soon, but next time, hold the asparagus!
This movie made me uncomfortable. I took my kids to it on a rainy Saturday when there was no other G-rated flick available. The production was fine, but I've never gone to the multiplex and experienced that dreadful feeling of being in church. It was strange, and to me embarrassing, to be preached to at the movies. And this film dishes it out too - it tells the tale of Jonah, etc., with all the gloom and doom of the biblical text - it's just camouflaged in a cartoon and cleaned up for the kiddies. For example, instead of drawing lots to determine who's responsible for making god mad, the characters play "go fish" in the middle of The Perfect Storm. It was like Veggie-Twilight-bible-zone. It also makes no attempt to go beyond the trite and trivial retelling of Jonah, the pirates, and the whale. And it takes dreadfully long time to get through the whole mess. Probably the sloppiest part was upon his entry into Ninevah, every native was slapping or being slapped with a fish. Ridiculous throughout.
I suppose that if you can handle the preposterous veggie tales concept and a bland retelling of Jonah, then perhaps this movie may be interesting for you. Indeed, there were other viewers around us who seemed to find some value in it and somehow thought it to be new and worthwhile. They were laughing at all the programmed places and commenting at how cute it all was. No offense intended here, but I don't subscribe to such routine and this movie was a big waste of time. My kids were bored with it too.
Despite my distaste for the religious, I'd have enjoyed the movie had there been even a hint of talent in the writing. Everything was flat and uninspiring. Nothing was done to the story to make it less pointless than the original, no attempt was made to provide any character with substance, and lots of time was spent in the traditional manner trying to create meaning from a fable. In contrast, John Lassiter and his crew have shown that an animated feature can have depth, significance at every level, and technical competence, and be a big hit. This movie had none of those things.
I'll be back to the movies soon, but next time, hold the asparagus!
The Country Bears
(2002)
Looks good, sounds good, awful script
4 August 2002
Leave this one for the kids.
It's too bad - this movie looks good and has some nice music and musical talent in it, and quite a few enjoyable cameos. Unfortunately the script is just terrible. None of the characters have much personality or motivation, and the old road-trip story is used once again without any twists. It's really quite a bore, though the kids might be entertained, particularly if they like country rock. 1+/10.
It's too bad - this movie looks good and has some nice music and musical talent in it, and quite a few enjoyable cameos. Unfortunately the script is just terrible. None of the characters have much personality or motivation, and the old road-trip story is used once again without any twists. It's really quite a bore, though the kids might be entertained, particularly if they like country rock. 1+/10.
Up for the "Worst Screenplay Ever Written" award
1 January 2001
Okay, I understand that this is a kid's movie, and that it's intended to simply be fun. However, that's no excuse for the wreck of a screenplay provided by Britt Allcroft. Some day I may be compelled out of sheer obsession to document the many problems with this movie, but the most fundamental flaw is the continued use of the "Shining Time" additions to the Awdry stories. Didi Conn is the only thing shining in Shining Time, created for US TV audiences to stitch together the excellent model railroad Thomas stories. The only thing is, they didn't need to be stitched together, as they stand up just fine on their own in book and video. Worse, the Shining Time portions on TV are excruciating to watch...and now the whole premise is brought to a movie.
Now it seems there's some kind of magic railroad connecting a mythical British island railroad to Shining Time, clearly in the USA. In fact, it must be in Lancaster, PA, USA, because the Strasburg Railroad locomotive #475 makes a few appearances in the movie (in Strasburg and Harrisburg, PA) and I doubt it's ever been across the Atlantic.
Anyway, to make a long and painful story short, there's almost no motivation for any of the characters in this story to do anything at all. Somehow Mr. Conductor (not an Awdry creation) is running out of gold dust, which will somehow make his "universe" fall apart. There's no mention as to why supplies would dwindle to nothing when it's the only thing holding Sodor together - Mr. Conductor is pretty irresponsible if you ask me. He summons his idiot brother who is no help at all, and together they and the rest of the characters stumble on the answer and save the day in a completely underwhelming conclusion.
The gold dust emergency happens to coincide with the apparent return of a diesel engine intent on destroying steam engines. The whole evil-diesel and his predictable sidekick-duo are completely unnecessary and just scare the little kids (like my two-year-old). I assume that the marketing folks needed a few more new characters to work into the merchandising mix because there's no excuse for the plot damage caused by the diesel.
Your kids may enjoy the railroad scenes, but don't watch this movie unless you want your brains to leak out of your head and turn to mush. The models are great, but the acting and writing are ridiculous. Avoid at all costs!!!
Now it seems there's some kind of magic railroad connecting a mythical British island railroad to Shining Time, clearly in the USA. In fact, it must be in Lancaster, PA, USA, because the Strasburg Railroad locomotive #475 makes a few appearances in the movie (in Strasburg and Harrisburg, PA) and I doubt it's ever been across the Atlantic.
Anyway, to make a long and painful story short, there's almost no motivation for any of the characters in this story to do anything at all. Somehow Mr. Conductor (not an Awdry creation) is running out of gold dust, which will somehow make his "universe" fall apart. There's no mention as to why supplies would dwindle to nothing when it's the only thing holding Sodor together - Mr. Conductor is pretty irresponsible if you ask me. He summons his idiot brother who is no help at all, and together they and the rest of the characters stumble on the answer and save the day in a completely underwhelming conclusion.
The gold dust emergency happens to coincide with the apparent return of a diesel engine intent on destroying steam engines. The whole evil-diesel and his predictable sidekick-duo are completely unnecessary and just scare the little kids (like my two-year-old). I assume that the marketing folks needed a few more new characters to work into the merchandising mix because there's no excuse for the plot damage caused by the diesel.
Your kids may enjoy the railroad scenes, but don't watch this movie unless you want your brains to leak out of your head and turn to mush. The models are great, but the acting and writing are ridiculous. Avoid at all costs!!!
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