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Reviews
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
What the frack!!!!
This movie has shown me one lesson. Never no matter how much you have a faith in a movie, I repeat never buy a DVD without watching the movie first!!! This sorry piece of cinema doesn't even deserve the title of its classic predecessor. Don't get me started on the kid!! I tried to make myself like this movie I really did. I said OK I can get past the kid. Then I said OK I can get past the fact that the professor is now a bit part. Why did John Cleese even bother? Finally I started to get suckered in by its whole earth day hippie message. OK I can go with this. Last five minutes of the movie I am with it suddenly what the Frak? It's over with no closure, what a piece of crap!!!
Quantum of Solace (2008)
Quantum of SoLame!!!!
Is this the end of Bond? I have been a die-hard bond fan for years, even forgiving the Timothy Dalton years, but this was just plain awful. I should have known it would be bad as soon as I heard the theme song! Rap for a Bond song PLEASE!!!! Casino Royale was great and really set itself up for a great sequel, but instead we get two hours of mindless chases and a James Bond that has no idea what he is doing. The plot for this movie was supposed to be simple. Bond goes after the guys that killed Vespa. So the writers set up this great shadow syndicate plot, but too bad we will never know who they are because this movie goes nowhere and explains nothing. To sum up, Bond fans stay away from this one and lets hope they can save the franchise. Hollywood has finally done it they made Bond hip enough for everybody and by doing so destroyed an era. Bring back Pierce!!!!
The Messengers (2007)
The message is DON'T!
I am writing this review to save other people time and money. This movie is not worth renting. This movie is so bad I wouldn't watch it for free on cable. In the tradition of run of the mill cliché horror films like Dark Water, The Grudge and Boogeyman, along comes another film that maybe would have made it as a Saturday night SciFi movie. It is filled with two dimensional characters which constantly walk into empty rooms just to find there is no one there, oh yeah and there is a scary child. Hmm have we seen that before? If you like your horror movies watered down and predictable with the same old cheap screen tricks this is the film for you. Go for it, happy viewing.
Casino Royale (2006)
Maker or Breaker ?
I have always been a big Bond fan. Contrary to most critics Brosnan next to Connery was my favorite Bond. I just thought he had all the dimensions it took to make a good bond. After seeing Casino Royale this weekend I was left on the unfulfilled side but not sure why. Part of the problem is the plot is so layered or for lack of a better word confusing, I will have to see it again to be sure of who the bad guy actually was. I think the writers were so concerned with telling the story of how and why Bond became the cold hearted assassin that we all know and love that they lost the actual Bond vs. the villain that wants to rule the world story. I know the creators wanted to get away from the "cartoon" Bond films of the past but I for one thought they overcompensated. Where was Q ? And not one neat gadget to be seen. OK we have had our dose of serious Bond bring back fun Bond, but please no invisible cars. Thank you.
Huo Yuan Jia (2006)
The sum of a life
If you go into this movie expecting the traditional Wu Xia style film a la Crouching Tiger... or House of Flying Daggers you will be disappointed, however if you are looking for a wonderful telling of a man's life along with some kick butt fighting scenes you will love this movie. Jet Li's acting in this movie deserves at least an Oscar nod. His character follows the Greek tragic hero formula of a man at the height of his game to the lowest levels of man's self loathing and finally redemption. If this is truly Jet Li's final martial arts film it is a great testimony both to himself and the legend he portrayed. The only thing sad about my experience was there were only four other people in the theater I went to. American's just don't don't appreciate good cinema.
Snakes on a Plane (2006)
Not worth it!!!!!
I just wanted to save anyone else from having the heartache of spending 10.00 to see this film. First don't fall for the hype! I usually trust actual reviews from actual people but in this case the masses are wrong. It was not entertaining, it was not fun and it was not creative. Samuel Jackson and some gratuitous nudity couldn't even save this film. The plot goes nowhere and the writing is terrible. I thought at least Samuel L. Jackson would have some catchy dialogue but he didn't have that. This movie would have been right at home as a scifi channel movie of the week. Save your 10.00 don't believe the hype and avoid this film!
Nochnoy dozor (2004)
Russia Horror King ?
Over the last few years I have become completely disillusioned with good ol' made in the USA horror films. They have become mindless, repetitive, and over all pieces of mass produced garbage. Then came a left hook out of Russia known as Night Watch. I could kick myself because I almost didn't finish watching it because I couldn't find the Russian audio track and let's face it English dubbing is right up there with that scum that grows in your bathtub. Here is a hint there is a B side to the disk. DUH! Anyway thank God I gave it a second chance because in it's original language this movie is a cinematic masterpiece. It has everything great soundtrack, great story and beautiful cinematography as well as haunting images. The Russians evidently know how to represent the battle between good and evil because they have taken it to another level. Now I just wish I knew when the second one was coming out because presently I am foaming at the mouth. So if you are sick of US horror movies targeted at audiences with an IQ lower than that of a mentally handicapped hamster you might want to check out the dark side and rent Night Watch.
The Matador (2005)
A Different Pierce Brosnan
Watching this film was like getting a box of Cracker Jacks expecting to find one of those cheap stick on tattoos and actually getting something very cool. It starts out a little slow, but before you know it you are caught up in these lackluster yet intriguing characters. Pierce Brosnan did a great job of playing against his type. Where he normally plays dashing, suave, continental, a guy every guy would like to be. In this film he is a washed up hit-man at the end of his career. At some point in the film you really start to feel sorry for the guy regardless of some rather eccentric appetites. Greg Kinnear plays a great everyman just struggling to get through with not much in life except a woman who stands by him through it all. This is a movie where one does not realize how good it is until the end. The story is well written and the soundtrack is fun. If you are into dark comedies about this thing we call life you'll love it.
Carnivàle (2003)
Ended too Soon
First off let me start by saying, the only reason I gave Carnivale only eight stars is just for the fact that it will not be finished. HBO, that is your fault. This show was a breath of fresh air in a world that is dominated by cheap reality shows or shock TV! This show had character. It had to because that is what the show was driven by. The watcher really ran the gambit with these characters. They all had flaws, none were perfect and they all had a job to do, they just didn't know it. The acting was brilliant! Certainly the performance of Clancy Brown as the menacing Brother Justin was one of the best I have seen. This is truly a story that needs to be finished. There were way to many questions left unanswered. How in the h%^$ does a network promise you a show about the final showdown between good and evil and then not have a winner!
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
Great Cliffhanger
Originally I was going to see The Da Vinci Code this weekend but instead wound up seeing Pirates of the Caribbean DMC. I must say I was in for an an unexpected treat. I did like the first one but didn't really expect much as far as a continuing plot goes. The second movie comes out with both guns a blazing. There is plenty of great stunt work and even better plenty of plot with just the right balance of CGI. The actor who plays Davy Jones who was also in Underworld and Love Actually is slowly becoming one of my favorite actors. He carries a certain amount of charm and subtlety which one can see even through all the tentacles of the squid effects. Depp returns with all the great mannerisms that made Captain Jack Sparrow a household name. True he didn't exactly come out of left field as he did with the first movie, but one just has to love this character if not merely for the fact you never know what he will do next. Good supporting roles by Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly although I would like to have seen Knightly's character be a bit more brash. Oh well perhaps in the third installment. I say bring on the scalawags. I can't wait to see how it ends.
Nightmares & Dreamscapes: From the Stories of Stephen King (2006)
Why so long ?
Of all people not to have a horror anthology series, why did it take so long to give one to Stephen King ? Through the last few years there have been good series ie, Outer Limits or Poltergeist and bad anthologies ie, Masters of Horror, and a few others that I can't remember the names to. Nightmares and Dreamscapes is a refreshing new attack on the genre. We all know Stephen King has had a lot of ups and downs but so far this one has plenty of steam! William Hurt did a fantastic job with almost no dialogue showing true talent as an actor! The vengeful army of toy soldiers was handled beautifully with a mix of CGI and actors in costume. The second story also grabbed you and didn't let go with its Gothic charm. Although it would have been much more suspenseful without the commercials. If you didn't catch it on the first run, catch it on a rerun. This makes me forgive Stephen King for his last TV creation Desperation. I look forward to the others!
Superman Returns (2006)
The Man of Steel is back!
The room is dark, the popcorn is in your lap. You can feel the excitement in the room. Not since the dismal Superman IV, which unfortunately was Christopher Reeve's last portrayal of the last son of Krypton, have we seen the big man on a movie screen. I was so afraid as I am sure many other people had been that my expectations were to high for this film. Lets face it, who could help fill the gap that Reeve left so long ago. Then suddenly you hear the low strings begin the legendary John Williams score and the credits start flying at you in true Superman fashion and you are off on a 2.5 hour escape from reality. The acting was amazing. Not at any point in this film did you feel like you were watching a two dimensional film about paper characters. These were real people with real problems. Kevin Spacey played Lex Luthor brilliantly. Holding back the true dark side of the character until it just comes out of nowhere and grabs you by the throat. Brandon Routh took on the personae of the American icon like it was meant to be. No discredit to him but it helped the transition that the similarities to himself and Reeve were at times uncanny. His Clark Kent was dead on. You just wanted to root for the guy. Bosworth portrayed a more jaded Lois Lane that was bitter about the five year absence of Superman and had finally gotten on with her life. Not only is she engaged but also has a child which really tends to complicate things. Along with great supporting roles by Parker Posey who I loved as Kitty and Frank Langella who brought new life to the already great role started by Jackie Cooper. This was a true experience. If any part of any adult still has in them the little kid that would wrap the towel around their neck and jump off the bed and thought they could fly if they tried just hard enough. Then they will love this film.
The Omen (2006)
Great Remake!
I saw the Omen this weekend and was pleasantly surprised. Going into it I expected maybe a fun popcorn movie. How could they go wrong, the original was so good ? Once it started however I was in for an exciting edge of my seat thriller. What is crazy is the fact that you know all the big events that are going to happen, but there are many scenes that still grab you and won't let go. This movie also did for me what a horror movie or suspense movie has not done in years. It took me by surprise. I must admit it got at least one jump out of me perhaps two. With it's wonderful acting, eerie cinematography and brilliant musical score I will say this is a light at the end of the so far blasé summer movie tunnel. If they keep on with the series I only hope they are as good as this one.
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Good but left a lot of questions
OK. I saw X-Men The Final Stand this weekend and was almost fulfilled. Yes there were a few big mistakes, such as why did it go from day to night in a split second. I know it was sundown but come on it never gets dark that quick unless Storm is doing it. I will be the first to admit I don't know everything there is about about the X-Men universe which is huge. That is my point. With the countless characters and endless subplots my question is WHY? Why are they trying to end this franchise now. You that have seen the film know that we are left with some serious holes in the X-Men family, which could cause a problem if they decide to resurrect the franchise somewhere down the road. I just don't understand why finally when Hollywood gets the comic to movie formula right they decide to cut it off at the jugular. Let us all hope there is still a chance for the X-Men to return to the big screen once more. Stan Lee Help!!!!
Desperation (2006)
Disappointed
I just wanted to say after finishing Desperation I felt like I had wasted three hours of my life. I have been an avid King fan for years but all I can say is I hope the book was better than the movie. Someone tell me it is please !!! I wont give anything away for those that were lucky enough not have seen it. Now lets see what did this movie lack ? For starters plot. The plot was thinner than Kate Moss and there was no character development, which King normally in his worst novels still does well. This movie had zero. This was the biggest mess of a battle between good and evil I have ever seen. In closing to any one who did not watch it on ABC last night I beg of you don't waste your money even renting this if it ever comes out on DVD. Again if the book was better great!