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Twin Peaks: The Return (2017)
Twin Peaks Revival is currently a very mixed bag of varying quality...
ADVISORY: Contains very minor spoilers ===========
Okay, so, like most of you, I have been chomping at the bit for this revival of Twin Peaks, with a brand new season/series. Last night, I watched the first four episodes through my Showtime Anytime account and... it's a VERY mixed bag. Keep in mind, the following are solely my thoughts & opinions, and is coming from someone who not only loved Twin Peaks, but also Fire Walk With Me, Lost Highway, Eraserhead & Inland Empire, in which these are many instances where Lynch is jumping into the surreal deep end.
The first episode was a totally unfocused & muddled mess in its overall structure, with only a couple of awkwardly chosen scenes of Twin Peaks & its inhabitants that add nothing to what is currently going on (minus a scene between Hawk & a literally phoned in performance from Catherine E. Coulson as Margaret the Log Lady) other than to meekly justify the use of the Twin Peaks title. Now, there were interesting tidbits & story elements in the first episode that I obviously know will find their ties into the story at a later date, but the structure was horribly abysmal, with some pretty awful & clunky dialogue exchanges taking place all over the place, particularly for Ben & Jerry where it didn't sound natural for their usual banter. The "quirk" factor has been dialed up to 11 for all the stand-by denizens in South Dakota & feels quite forced, rather than natural, and Lucy's IQ seems to have been downgraded to a painful level of stupidity (which becomes more obvious by the next three episodes) and seems to have been transferred to Andy instead.
The second & third episode do much better in their structuring & the surreal elements, for the most part, work more often than not, save for a few amusingly bad visual effects that take away from the impact of the moment. However, where episodes 2 & 3 really suffer is that there is too much self-indulgent & drawn out padding/filler all throughout them that feel like they were kept in order pad out the episode count, and it was grating on my patience heavily. The first three episodes could have easily been condensed down into a 1-hour premiere episode that could have hit all the major points of those first three episodes, and also been allowed to have some of the surreal filler moments, and been way more effective than ending up with three very mediocre episodes, of varying quality, instead. Also, I have to say that the moment with Gordon Cole & Denise in the third episode is very shoehorned in, clunky as hell & added nothing to the proceedings. I am all for seeing these characters again, but make it natural & believable, rather than "Hey, this one was a fan favorite! Quick, whip something together fast as a half-assed nod to the fans."
The fourth episode was mostly on the ball, with only a few moments that drag out for too long, and one particular hiccup in it... the scene with Andy & Lucy's kid, Wally. The scene drags on for ages, and while it's the first time I think I have seen Michael Cera give an actual good performance & not play himself in the process, they drag it out for eternity, and it just started to become insufferable, and started to feel like it was a mere excuse to make full use of a quick celebrity cameo. Well, there is one other hiccup... a scene involving Lucy on the phone with one of the Sheriffs, and is a scene that really illustrates the sudden drop in Lucy's IQ & that Frost and Lynch no longer seem to understand some of their original characters anymore.
Probably the best element of the first four episodes, without being hindered with too much padding, is Cooper in the casino & anything having to do with Cooper's doppleganger. I think those moments best illustrate what we loved about the original Twin Peaks, Fire Walk With Me & just Lynch in general. The best element, that was unfortunately hindered by too much padding, was the stuff involving the Black Lodge/Red Room.
So far, for me, the series is suffering from too much self indulgent filler/padding, some pretty awful & clunky dialogue exchanges, some gross misinterpretations of pre-established characters in this new series, shoehorned in cameos & scenes involving Twin Peaks & its denizens that often offer no structural and/or narrative context to what is currently being focused on, the focus seems all over the place, and not in a good way, sometimes the quirkiness is too forced instead of coming off mostly natural (like it usually did in any other incarnations of Twin Peaks), and sometimes the raw & strong effect/impact of some scenes is ruined by some pretty bad visual effects. Those was my main issues with it, and they were pretty severe, to the point I nearly stopped watching many times.
I think there is still potential, and if Episode 4 is anything to go by, I think that it will gradually improve over time, but at the moment, I'm mostly unimpressed & regret to say it currently holds a 5/10 for me. I hope it continues to get progressively better, otherwise, I don't think I will be able to continue with it, which is a shame, because I've been hankering for this return, like many have, for a long time.
Perversion (2010)
A very neat no-budget homage to Grindhouse-style exploitation horror cinema
Well, well, well...
...We have quite the curiosity here ladies & gents! A fairly ambitious & ballsy no-budget Grindhouse-style exploitation horror film under the title of Perversion. How well does it live up to this title?
Well, if you find yourself, such as I did, making faces of absolute disbelief, disgust & and nervous amusement, then I say it did its' job sufficiently.
Now, what makes this film work? Well, it is first and foremost a character study told through an exploitive manner. It starts off with a fairly modern feel but as the film continues forward, the more it devolves into its inspired roots. You get sucked into Ryan's world & plight the further the runtime sinks in, which in turn is credited to writer/director/actor Chris Moore. Despite a couple over-the-top moments on his part, he gives a very endearing performance and without him acting as the intregal glue then the film would have fallen apart.
The film is further aided by the fact it generally hints around the violent/perverse moments (with the occasionally well-place graphic moment) and concentrates on the emotional/mental ringer into hell such a situation would inflict upon the character.
Complimented by an old-school experimental horror movie music score (complete with synthesizer & tradition instrumentals), the film reaches the destination it wishes to travel unscathed for the most part.
But you might ask what caused the scratches & dents in the paint job? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp...
...While due to no-budget limitations, the film was shot with a low-grade digital camcorder that appears to have a horrible interlacing built into it. This sometimes obscures the picture so bad that it is hard to make anything out and is generally distracting. The picture is also a bit too dark at certain moments. So dark in fact that it makes sure you are straining your eyes to the breaking point. The interlacing really cannot be fixed but I feel the film could have used some brightness/contrast touch-ups during the editing process. Also, the sound mix is very poor due to most of it having been recorded with the camcorder's built-in microphone which means it picks up the camcorder's motor as well as the camcorder being moved/gripped drastically. Sometimes the music/dialogue shifts into a major drop in quality too. Now, nothing can be done about the camcorder's audible motor but I would still have liked to seen a more competent sound mix that removed other distracting noises and fixed the audio levels.
The film also suffers from a storyline/pacing viewpoint in the "Day 2" segment of the story. Most of what happens in this "day" does not match or blend with the other "days" very well. It feels as if most of it should have been turned into flashback footage to help further aid explanation in the story's setup. There are even a couple scenes in which their placement in the story is rather questionable. With some more creative/tighter editing, this problem could have been fixed before hitting a mass viewing market. As it stands, this is what we were given and unfortunately taints what is overall a solid effort.
Despite these flaws though, this is a film I highly recommend to the following:
*Those looking for a grindhouse-style exploitation horror fix *The budding amateur horror filmmaker *Supporters of no-budget independent cinema *Underground enthusiasts
If you're of this breed, you will find something to walk away from Perversion and be glad you watched it. Recommended.
Alien³ (1992)
Extremely underrated sequel!
Most people hate this film because it's not like the first two, it kills off all the people we care about (including Ripley), and doesn't have that much action. Is this the best reason people can think of as to why they hate it?! Sorry, but that's not enough to make me think this was a bad movie. Besides, each Alien film (if you look at it as a trilogy, ignoring the horrible Alien 4) was quite different from each other. Alien was more dark and scary. Aliens was more action-packed. Alien 3 is a darker approach to the series displaying the realization of how Ripley will have to deal with this thing till the day she dies. Also, Alien 3 has a more realistic and real-life feel to it. It doesn't go how we want to go and never turns out perfect. I liked this approach because it made me feel more sad for Ripley and her dying friends. Also, even though this movie has some paper-thin characters, they still have something unique to all of them. But here comes my first complaint. Why did the studios have to pull out the machete and slice the character development into tidbits? Over a half-hour of footage involving character development is cut! But besides this, it's very interesting and the movie jerks us around whenever it kills off characters we loved. It's a nice way to keep me pinned in because this movie has the balls to actually be mean and violent to the viewer. It pulled me in. I didn't know what would happen next. Exactly who would live? Also, the movie is visually stunning. It has lots of darkness to it and throws in some crazy camera angles (especially those from the alien's viewpoint). Fincher really shines when it comes to the style. He also knows how to work with substance, character-wise. But if only the studios would've left in that character development so this movie could pull me in more! But it still does since this movie revolves around Ripley. It's her movie and it she gives a great performance. Her character really evolved over the movies. At points, you feel sorry for her since there's no way for her to get around this nightmare she has to face. But don't worry, she still has that badass feel to her and presents it at the right moments. The only other things I have to gripe about is the CGI they used at times for the alien. I utterly hate CGI because at those moments, the alien looked fake. But besides that, I thought it was very creepy and I'm glad they kept it in the shadows so it still had it's scary quality (unlike Alien 4 which almost makes the aliens look like the heroes!). But besides this, this was a very good and underrated movie and the series should've ended here. But the fans had to gripe over Ripley's desmise and made the studios get big dollar signs in their eyes, and thus, Alien: Resurrection which totally whizzes all over the series. I'm sorry, but people have to grow up some. I was 7 when I first saw this and I was very satisfied with how it ended. Ripley's journey was finally over and her time to rest. I'm sorry but are there only a few people out there that didn't realize this? Besides, like I said before, the movie would've been better if the studios left in the extra footage. But overall, Alien 3 is actually a pleasant surprise and a nice way to end the series as a "trilogy."
8/10
Braindead (1992)
We got a winner here!!!!!!!!
WARNING: If you are going to watch this film, get the unrated version because the Rated-R version trims ALL the gore! And I mean ALL of it!
OK, this film has classic written all over it. But first, you have to have a strong stomach, you have to enjoy dark and black comedy/humor, a drama and romancing side-story, and realize that this film is a gory comedy with horror elements! If you do not like the above or can't handle the above, don't rent it! If you do, get this movie and enjoy it. Extreme gore, extreme funniness, and even a drama and romance story mixed in with it. It has it all, even a ninja priest saying lines like, "I kick a** for the lord!" and even two zombies procreating and having a zombie baby. The lawnmower massacre was the cherry on top of this one. A classic gory dark comedy.
Friday the 13th: The Series (1987)
I MISS THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!
I love this show. It's a real damn shame they no longer make it and Sci-Fi channel seems to have stop showing the repeats. Now imagine if this series had been a movie before hand and was the original Friday the 13th series? I would have loved it better than having Jason Vorhees. I want this show back.
The Evil Dead (1981)
The Necrinomicon wants you to JOIN US!!!!!!!!!!
Evil Dead is an amazingly done low budget horror film that I would pay to see over and over again. The effects were actually surprisingly well done for low budget. The acting is very well done and believeable but the Scotty character spouts out some bad dialogue from time to time. Some of the scenes can be quite laughable like when Cheryl first gets possessed and spouts off death threats and they just stand there like "What's wrong with her," not even acknowleging the fact that she was levitating and is getting uglier by the minute. This movie also had some campy humor mixed in a few scenes as well and a great gory filled ending that you'll love. As for plot wise, it's simple but I won't tell, you'll have to watch for yourself. Also, you have to watch for the tree rape scene, poor Cheryl. If you want to see this movie how it should be, buy one of the re-released versions by Anchor Bay Entertainment. Followed by Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness: Evil Dead III. I recommend watching the whole trilogy. ***** out of *****.
Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return (1999)
What is this?
Come on, COTC fans. This sequel was absolutely dreadful. The characters were so stupid. Hannah knew what would happen if she stayed around and was even told the truth by her own mother. However, she decided to be very dense and stick around for no reason!!! She should have just left town instead of sticking around there.
Plus, how the hell could they bring Issac back?! He had gotten killed in part 1. You all saw it. It was badly written. And remember, Gatlin had become a amish community, how could it become a city again after only like 3 or 4 years?! Not to mention everything looked so 60's about the town.
It was just not believable and horribly thought out. 1 was alright, 2 was forgettable, 3 was cheesy fun, 4 was pretty well executed, 5 was a fun slashfest. However, this one just bit in my book. The series is not about Issac as he is treated like he is in this one. Hopefully COTC 7 redeems it.
Hellraiser: Inferno (2000)
Might not be an Inferno, but it is the best sequel ever to the Hellraiser series I've seen up to date!
When I first heard about this one, I knew they would probably take it to a new direction since Hellraiser: Bloodline bombed. Now, this movie is not about Pinhead but actually shows you a person about to enter hell from his perspective. It was a really good idea to do that because I was getting tired of gore and Pinhead, that was all we got for Hellraiser 3 and 4. I was sick of it. I wanted something new and I got it. I mean Pinhead is in this but only near the end of the film. And eariler in the movie he is referred to as "The Engineer". Plus unlike the last two movies, this one has a plot and actually manages to leave you in suspense with it's weird mystery. It has it's share of violence but that is not what a horror movie is about, it's about plot and actually coming up with an original idea with some shocks and twists and turns through the story. That is exactly what this one did. If you just watch the series for Pinhead and gore, you are not a true Hellraiser fan and you have not taste whatsoever (no offense). I love this one alot it went back to the original type of stuff introduced in the original but does it in a different way. Don't let the box art or title of the film fool you though. I think they should have called this one "Hellraiser: A Human Puzzle", but besides this it was excellent. I want another one like this. Hopefully "Hellraiser: Hellseeker" will be in the same taste and if not, hopefully it takes a new approach. This movie was originally going to be in theaters but went straight to video. Anyway, check it out and remember, just because it's straight to video, doesn't mean it's always bad.