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Transformers (2007)
Cack!!!
I remember the cartoons from the 80's and they were not particularly good compared to say Battle of the Planets. The cartoon was basically about shifting units of toys. The toys themselves looked pretty good. Like He-Man and others of that ilk it was all about being bright and flashy with nothing to engage young minds. I watched this film on Film4 at 9pm. Why they chose this time to show, what is basically a children's film is beyond me.
The humour was stale and dragged out and schoolboy level. I love action movies, but this was by the numbers Hollywood pap. Lots of bang for your buck, but no story to speak of. Dire. This movie sums up what is wrong with Hollywood action movies these days. Too much reliance on special effects and hardly any story. Now I know why people groan when they hear a movie is being directed by Michael Bay.
Explorers (1985)
Watch Flight of the Navigator instead.
I've read so many comments about this movie, and sure it does start out well and it's good to spot a young Ethan Hawke with really bad yellow teeth. The problem is the aliens are sooo unbelievably bad. The other problem is that Disney's Flight of the Navigator totally eclipses it in special effects and story. Try watching Flight of the Navigator next to Explorers and you will see what I mean. There are some good moments and for a children's film it's great to see this effort, but as I say it's totally blown out of the water, and left for dust by Flight of the Navigator.
I was never a big fan of Disney during the 80's due to Walt's right wing views. Remember the voices of all dem crows in his early movies? You couldn't get away with stuff like that now... Jah Jah Binks anyone? What was George Lucas thinking?
Alien³ (1992)
Alien vs Studio
I've read some heavy criticism of this movie before I had seen it. When I did see it, I was not particularly impressed. I had Alien and Aliens on videotape and somehow they got stolen.
So when the Quadology became available reduced from £70 to £15 with the Theatrical Releases as well as the Directors cut versions and all the making of documentaries I thought what a bargain.
I feel sorry for the first time director on this movie as the whole plot of the third movie sounded ridiculous in the first place and sounded more a like a comic-book short story.
The studio constantly wanting and making changes to the script on a daily basis and interfering with the shoot itself, would and could not let Mr Fincher direct the film the way he wanted to.
After repeated watching, the final version of the film if it were not a sequel would, I feel not stand up as film on it's own. It's too dark and slow moving and the other "monsters", i.e. the prisoners you really only just start to know them when they start dying.
Give it whirl though. You might enjoy it like Marmite or Vegamite, I say yuk, you may say yummy.
Men in Suits eh?
Josefine Mutzenbacher - Wie sie wirklich war: 1. Teil (1976)
Porn Perfection?
Dare I say it, but this is probably one of the best porn movies on the planet. OK, it's dubbed, but it's done well. There are plentiful scenes and it doesn't drag like a lot of modern movies. The story works well and builds and builds up so you had better invest in some Kleenex cos you won't make it through the first half hour without popping at least once.
The sets, costumes, lighting and locations are great and the girls are downright dirty and sexy. I wish modern directors would watch this to show how a good porno film should be done.
The themes are quite strong, which is what makes it good. It goes into adult carnal fantasies that are extreme, but never try and gross you out.
All in all the film has great humour and is sooooo sexy I doubt that there is anything of this quality on the market today.
An American Buttman in London (1991)
Gonzo
I have recently obtained a DVD copy of this film. I owned a copy when it was released on video, which mysteriously disappeared after being borrowed out to a few friends. I agree with everything the last two reviewers have said. This was the original Gonzo feature and the next two films that the American Buttman series released were just as good and fun too. The acting and dialog are funny and the great central London locations added something extra too. I have watched a lot of adult movies and generally prefer older films. Maybe they seem naughtier because of their innocence, or just that nowadays it's all wall to wall sex with no build-up to the sex scenes and plastic models with no acting talent whatsoever. Even though I generally prefer movies shot on film, if the action is good, the girls a quite pretty and believable then I have no hesitation in recommending a film. This is a movie that should be in everyone's collection. Oh yes Linzi Drew is teasingly in her short scenes. Anyone who has read Escort Magazine during the 80's will know what I mean. HoT!
8 to 4 (1981)
10 -4 Cos I like to get in late and leave early...
I bought this thinking it was a classic without seeing it first because it has Annette Haven, Lisa Deleeuw, Juliet Anderson and Veronica Hart. These were some of my favorite stars of the period.
I'd like to know another movie with an A list cast with these legends of the genre in it.
The camera-work and lighting is excellent. The Sets are believable too and thou the plot is minimal, it's all played for laughs and the cast all seem to be enjoying themselves, especially Juliet Anderson,Ride 'em Cowgirl.
Citizen Kane it ain't but it's inoffensive and the female characters are in control, which seems to be a bit of a rarity these days.
A good movie for couples and the sex is... great!!!
Amanda by Night (1981)
Great couples movie...
I'm a big Veronica Hart fan after seeing her in many films from the 70's and 80's so finding this film in Soho was great.
The acting is good for most part Liza Deleeuw was fantastic as one of the hookers and Ron Jeremy is really good as the sleazy vice cop. Does anyone remember him in BAD GIRLS? The lighting and use of outdoor sets make this feel more like a movie than a wort's and all sex video. A good movie with a beginning, a middle and a end. This is not the best porn I've ever seen, but it's definitely not the worst.
You will watch this movie again for Veronica Hart and Lisa Deleeuw's sex scenes and there pimp party.
The Fashionistas (2002)
Fashion with a passion?
I've seen a lot of porn in my 38 years and I have to admire John Stagliano's work such as Buttman in London. I'm sure this is how Ben Dover got started and which lead to the discovery of the fantastically filthy mouthed Lalya Jade.
I digress. This film has all the right elements in place. Good lighting, fantastic costumes and some original ideas on sex with regard to bondage and S&M and a believable script.
There is a terrific scene in a hotel room between to females, which is absolutely fantastic.
The problem is that while these scenes my work well on their own, on a whole I find as a voyeur/viewer that it becomes very, boring. The music is downright awful and I grew up with early Techno and Acid House music. It' repetitive and annoying.
Rocco is brilliant in most of the films I've seen him in, but trying to act in an English speaking role even though he is cast as an Italian was hard work to listen to.
A good effort, but the whole thing seems to be a bit of a mess. I would stick to watching Skin Two for more authentic fetish films.
Belladonna usually so 'kin awesome, just seems tame here.
Trashi (1981)
Mad professor creates perfect sex robot.
This was one of the first really well made, if cheap 35mm movies I saw growing up in South London. It has Lisa De Leeuw which in itself would make me want to watch it. It is also a funny, British Carrry-On style film. The humour is rauncy and the plot laughable and that's a good thing.
This film doesn't take itself seriously and everyone looks like they are having fun. There are a few good Lesbian scenes to boot and... it's got Lisa De Leeuw in it...
Sharon Mitchell plays a stroppy maid who is fed up with the Professors previous experiments cluttering up the house.
A detective going by the name of wait for it Inspector Crutch played by Paul Thomas is employed to find out what is going on.
This is very good for a laugh and if you have a new girlfriend a very good way of introducing her to porn.