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Reviews
Vampire's Kiss (1988)
It's not a 10 but it's certainly not a 1
So, this film falls victim to the terribly flawed ratings system (which I'm to blame too)
Movies nowadays when rated are either given a 1 or a 10. The middle ground seems to have disappeared. I've seen reviews absolutely slaughtering this then on the other hand reviews that praise it like it's the second coming of Christ.
So, for me it's ... just okay.
Cage is brilliant, I can easily see why he rates this as one of his best performances. His character is crazy, eccentric, wacky, sad, lonely and obviously suffering with terrible mental health issues, very much like Patrick Bateman (American Psycho) or Arthur Fleck (The Joker) but that's its. The movie really doesn't go anywhere. He spends 30 mins running around the city moaning " I'm a vampire " in a really weird accent. The supporting cast are non existent really. For me this movie is all the right ingredients but put together terribly.
Cobweb (2023)
It was okay
The tile of my review says it all really, it was okay. It started off very well, nice direction and quite creeepy at some points but the 3rd act is where this movie really fell apart.
Antony Starr is brilliant and really sinister as the father of the household but even he can't save this.
I really think it just tried to be too clever, modern horror movies try to be too twisty turner with a new surprising plot twist around ever corner when it's not necessary. Not everything has to be a simple slasher but a more simplistic formula could have save this.
On that note it certainly doesn't deserve its low scores or mega high one for that fact, it's an okay once watch but really won't get any repeat viewings.
The Poison Rose (2019)
Good cast, very poor movie.
This movie is a perfect example of how not to use a great cast. The story moves at a one legged asthmatic tortoise pace and you'll lose interest pretty quick.
John Travolta deliveries a very uninspiring performance with perhaps one of the worse voiceovers in movie history. Morgan Freeman does the best he can with the terrible dialogue but even he can't save this one. I still can figure out what accent Brendan Fraser was going for.
It's the typical drunk guy that won't give up who knows a guy that were friends from way back and he's now a bad guy and I'm warning you stay away but don't bother going to the cops because I own them movie.
Avoid.
Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
Heart breaking
A gut wrenching and heart breaking story. A truly brilliant depiction that shows a broken marriage and two parents struggling with love, work and parenthood. Hoffman and Streep are both magnificent but for me Justin Henry steals the show.
Arachnophobia (1990)
Creepy
Another classic from my childhood that didn't help my spider fear. This movie gets the balance just right and anyone with a fear will hate/love this. It loses its way towards the end but it still holds up.
Halloween Kills (2021)
Brutally fun
Halloween Kills is a great edition to the franchise. It's silly, over the top, brutal, sadistic but a very fun watch. This and the last movie may play havoc with the timeline but once you get your head round that just sit back and enjoy.
I found it great to see many old faces return to this, just a sucker for nostalgia I guess. Did you spot them all ?
Mortal Kombat (2021)
The best Mortal Kombat movie
This is by far the best version. It's not up against much but this version is very entertaining. It has more than a few nods to the MK fans, plenty of characters, plenty of blood and is just a fun watch.
Purple Rain (1984)
Simply stunning soundtrack
I'm not here to mention the very questionable acting, about 90% of the cast weren't actors so take it or leave but the rest of the movie is gorgeous. Brilliantly shot and stonking soundtrack and it's just full of wonderful 80's nostalgia.
L.A. Confidential (1997)
Wonderful
An exquisite piece of film making. A wonderful cast and brilliant direction makes crime thriller fly by. Lies, murder, corruption run like a river in this movie. Definitely check it out.
Innerspace (1987)
An absolute 80's gem
A simply wonderful family 80's classic. Meg Ryan is stunning. Dennis Quaid has a brilliant Han Solo arrogance to him and Martin Short is wonderfully silly. Definitely watch it.
Y: The Last Man (2021)
Another great comic book adaptation ruined.
This show should be used in film making schools in years to come - how to take brilliant source material and completely ruin it. This is a very poor show. Avoid it.
Revenge of the Nerds (1984)
An 80's gem
Just a wonderful movie. Made when the word Nerd was an insult and not cool.
This movie pretty much has everything and definitely falls into the category of this movie would never be made today.
Last Moment of Clarity (2020)
It was ... just average
I didn't love it but I didn't hate. A perfect example of its okay.
I thought it to long to set it up and not enough time spent on the finale.
Decide for yourself.
Prisoners of the Ghostland (2021)
What Rock Hudson said about 2001: A Space Odyssey
I've absolutely no idea what went on. It's Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome meets The Wizard of Oz with other crazy stuff !!
Blood Red Sky (2021)
Not very good
Another movie where the annoying kid ruins everything. A vampire movie with over the top emotions and it just doesn't work. For every good moment in the movie there were 5 bad. Too long, too stupid with too many kids in it.
The New Mutants (2020)
Meh!
Below average. A 90 minute movie that feels like 4 hours. Bad writing, bad direction, unlikeable characters and just a complete and utter waste of time. Avoid.
Fear Street: 1994 (2021)
Quick review
Scream meets a slightly bloody episode of Scooby Doo, with a Guardians of the Galaxy style soundtrack as every scene in a movie now for some reason must have a new song playing.
The Head Hunter (2018)
Quick review
Hardly any dialogue, hardly any characters. Brilliant cinematography. Certainly worth a look.
F9 (2021)
Enough. Red light. Stop
Just utter garbage. To say this movie was written and made by a 12 year old is an insult to a 12 year old. This franchise needs to end now.
Jurassic Park III (2001)
Quick review
Not the best movie. Spent pretty much most of it saying " stop shouting "
Killer Joe (2011)
Quick review
In a word - interesting.
It's dark, messed up, funny, ludicrous, strange all at the same time plus I'll probably never eat fried chicken again!
Army of the Dead (2021)
This is just truly awful !
What I think happened was little 6 year old Johnny was asked to watch Aliens followed by Train to Busan: Peninsula then handed a bunch of crayons and told to write his own movie.
This is awful. Zack Snyder churned out a truly big toilet bowel filler.
It's a huge rip off, some " Homages " (I'm being nice) a soundtrack worse than Suicide Squads, the longest ever opening pointless credit sequence and an hour too long.
Avoid at all cost !!
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947)
Quick review!
Just watched this recently and loved it. Rex Harrison is magnificent and this movie certainly falls into the category of " You can't say that these days "
Wonderful!
A Quiet Place (2018)
This movie made me so angry !!
I'm sure I'm missing the point but c'mon !! Really ??
Just think of all the things that you shouldn't do in a world where you have to be deadly quiet and this group of survivors do the complete opposite!!
I'm just disappointed it didn't have a Blazing Saddles style camp fire scene ! Go out in real style. Boom.
Not for me.
Scum (1979)
Brutal
A brilliant true depiction of the 70/80's borstal system. A simple tale of when you treat humans like animals they begin to prey on each other.
It's harsh, dark and heartbreaking.