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Reviews
Halo (2022)
This is what happens when studio exec's think they know how to "fix" a franchise.
Cortana and the look of the Master Chief armor are probably the only redeeming things in this series. Watching John take his helmet off every 2 seconds really pisses me off! The writers are completely oblivious as to why Master Chief is such a badass and such a great character. He is absolutely nothing like his video game character. Cortana is the only character that I actually felt was a decent representation of the video games.
Imagine watching the Mandalorion but he constantly takes his mask off. Or V for Vendetta, but V can't wait to show you his scarred face. When Master Chief is in his full armor, I see the character of John 117. There are so many other terrible things about this series but if you can't understand why Master Chief is a badass, then you have no chance of landing this series.
The White Lotus (2021)
I definitely fall in the minority of people who do not understand this show.
This show was frustratingly confusing. I don't know if it was supposed to be comedical cynicism or satirical nihilism. I still feel like I hate every writer of this show and I really wish I hadn't wasted my time. The fact that you can accurately point out societies flaws, doesn't make it funny. This was a shotgun blast to the face of all the things mankind has done wrong. I have worked for 15 years in the service industry and I really started to empathize with the staff..... But suddenly, it shifted to x,y,z....... I couldn't keep up with all the things to hate. It felt overwhelming and there is no one to cheer for.
Wednesday (2022)
Basically, this show is Harry Potter meets the Addams Family.
First off, this show did so many things right. The special effects were amazing considering this is a series and not a movie. This is a Tim Burton series so obviously all of the sets, costumes, and locations were spot on. Some of the characters stood out above the rest. Thing and Enid were undoubtedly the best characters in this series. I actually cried when Thing got hurt. He was the best character in the series but he had zero dialogue. It really speaks to your character development when a none verbal character can make you feel so much. Thing reminded me of the Magic Rug in Aladdin, zero dialogue but so many feels! This series really drops the ball on world development, environment, and depth. The entire series, they were supposed to be in school but they only showed 3 teachers.... Maybe? And it felt like many of the "special" characters were there for absolutely no reason at all. I am comparing Wednesday to the Harry Potter franchise which is unfair but it is the standard.
That '90s Show (2023)
The original cast is the only good thing about this series.
If a show has to limp along from cameo to cameo.... It's not a good show. Absolutely none of the new characters are memorable. The best character in this entire season was Fez, and he was a CAMEO! All of the kid actors are terrible. Granted, That 70's Show acting wasn't great but this feels insanely bad. Watching this feels like a high school drama class somehow snagged the opportunity to cameo the cast of That 70's Show. Absolutely, the only good parts were involving the original cast. The new cast is bland, stupid, and just awful. It feels like a bunch of writers sat in a room and asked themselves,"what if we did That 70's Show, but 2022?!" There is maybe one 90's reference per episode. That 70's Show was magic in a bottle..... You can't recreate that.
RRR (Rise Roar Revolt) (2022)
An Indian, live action anime!
I love shows like Cowboy Bebop and Attack on Titan. RRR feels like a live action Indian anime and I love every minute of it! It has some of the best special effects (and at times worst) that I have seen in recent years that isn't tied to Marvel. The choreography of fights and dancing are on par with old Jackie Chan. I'm going to watch RRR again right now! Sequel please!!
The Boys (2019)
The series is amazing! Erin Moriarty (Starlight) is beginning to look like Joan Rivers.
My only complaint about this series is Erin's obsession with plastic surgery. She is not even 30 but she looks like Joan Rivers' ectoplasmic snail trail. It's sad that she felt she needed plastic surgery to be attractive even though she used to be gorgeous. Now, I can't even look at her. She looks like Michael Jackson from South Park. Everything else about this series is top notch. Please, can we get Erin some help because she looks like Mr. Jefferson.
Love, Death & Robots (2019)
There is no other show that has left me this amazed.
I haven't finished all of the current episodes, I'm not too far into volume 2. I just finished Snow in the Desert and that was when I realized why this show is so breathtaking and unique. Most of the worlds where the show takes place are real, fleshed out and lived in. Every episode is a clean slate so the character that you fall in love with is never safe because they could die at any moment. Writers don't have to feel constrained about making a sequel or another episode so anything could happen at any moment. The episode Pop Squad was one of the best "short stories" I have ever seen. I see the show like a volume of short stories. It reminds me of The Twightzone because every episode is a self contained world. Sure, not all the worlds are equal and some might fall flat. I did not care for Ice. But the show can dust itself off and land a masterpiece in the next episode with Pop Squad. I think shows like this are important because it allows artists to take huge risks. Some of those risks have a huge pay off, some don't.
The Last Kingdom (2015)
An absolute cheap knockoff of Vikings.
It doesn't matter what I write here. This series is absolute garbage. It tries so hard to copy everything that the show Vikings got right; but amazingly, it does absolutely nothing right! How did this show last for so long and why is it so God damn popular? It is so awful!!
Nobody (2021)
Bob Odenkirk is the only reason to watch this movie.
The problem with this movie is that the entire time I was internally comparing it to John Wick. I feel like I could write a 5 page essay explaining how this movie struggled while explaining why Wick succeeded.
This movie felt a bit like the original suicide squad to me. The trailer and marketing was spot on because it feels like this film was entirely built around 2 or 3 scenes. It felt like the writers had no idea how to paste together these trailer-worthy moments. I'm not going to rant about the flaws of this film..... I'll just ask that you watch this film and then right away watch the first John Wick.
Cowboy Bebop (2021)
Great casting, excellent acting..... Terrible writing, horrible adaptation of the source material.
Spike, Jet and Faye were excellently cast. Everything else was terrible. Vicious was cringey, Julia was annoying, and Ed was forgettable. I was hoping this adaptation measured up but it totally fell flat.
Cowboy Bebop (2021)
Great casting, excellent acting..... Terrible writing, horrible adaptation of the source material.
Spike, Jet and Faye were excellently cast. Everything else was terrible. Vicious was cringey, Julia was annoying, and Ed was forgettable. I was hoping this adaptation measured up but it totally fell flat.
Jungle Cruise (2021)
The first half of this film is one of the worst movies I've ever seen.
Anytime this film tried to ground itself in "reality", it completely fell apart. I didn't begin to enjoy this film until the sincere scene between Jack and The Rock cutting wood. Everything to that point was garbage and absolute fluff. I lived in Paraguay for 2 years and almost everything about the animals and the indigenous people is so rascist and completely steriotipical of a white perspective. I understand that this film is from a perspective of WW1 but it was ludicrously inaccurate and boardering on rascist. I doubt that any of the writers have even visited the native people of South America. Koa ha'e ñaña. Y tav'y, che ra'a.
Suicide Squad (2016)
Sometimes glory has to rise from the ashes.
Everyone knows that this movie is absolute garbage. But out of the garbage we received probably the best Batman Antihero since Heath Ledger's Joker. Margot Robbie absolutely destroyed as Harley Quinn. She follows it up in Birds of Prey and Suicide Squad. The other highlight from the original Suicide Squad was Jai Courtney as boomerang. Somehow, a B list character becomes the second favorite character of the film. Suicide Squad was so awful! Birds of Prey and The Suicide Squad set Robbie up for a huge bump in story progression going forward.
Dune (2021)
WAY too much expo. Show, don't tell.
First off: the good..... The costume design, set design and location scout all deserve super high praise. The film looks gorgeous and basically took all the amazing things from Miller's most recent Mad Max and copied the formula for set, location and memorable costumes (but in a really clever new way). There are some truly mesmerizing shots in this film.
Now for the bad: the tempo of this movie is incredibly inconsistent. I complemented Dune for taking what Miller perfected in Mad Max. The sets, costumes and locations are top notch. But Dune could have learned more from a film genius like Miller about how to set up a plot, character development and pacing. The characters in Dune do nothing interesting until the movie is more than halfway over. I understand that the producers want to milk this franchise like the next Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter but this film falls miles short from either of those two success stories. The whole time watching this I was thinking, 'this would be so much better as a Game of Thrones style series'. You can't jam that much exposition and plot building in the first half of your movie. Go back and watch the Fellowship of the Ring and then watch Dune right after. You will immediately realize that Peter Jackson knows how to show you a story and guide you through a character building adventure. But in Dune, you spend agonizing minutes focusing on an important plot point that will be important to the future going forward but then bogs down the intro to all the characters and immediate plot. I felt like I was watching the longest episode of the most over achieving television series ever. Constantly, a scene would end and I would expect an episode ending theme song like in Vikings, The Mandalorean, or Game of Thrones.
The most glaring example of over explanation that destroyed the pacing of the movie was during the scene where Paul's mother is selecting a new housemaid. Introducing the blade as an important plot point at that part of the film ruined the pacing because some unimportant character goes to great lengths to describe a future plot point as if the viewers are too dumb to figure it out.
It would have been so much better if Paul had defeated the guy in the duel and then tried to take the blade but then realized that he wasn't "worthy" of the blade. If you want to add future development to the character of Paul, make the audience question why isn't he "worthy" yet. It then becomes a type of sword in the stone character build or Thor in Ragnarok when he realizes he doesn't need the hammer.
This movie had so much potential but seemed to look ahead at the upcoming franchise and forgot to focus on the first step.
Mortal Kombat (2021)
10 of 10 for nostalgia... But it ends there.
Kano was the best character in this movie only because he has a personality and isn't a copy, paste of character 101. Hanzo is the only other compelling character but unfortunately he isn't in the movie that long. I was really mad that Hiroyuki was only in the movie for a tiny bit. That dude was the only person who actually seemed to know how to act.
Cole's entire story was so dumb. Even from watching the trailers, I thought that the girl was his little sister. Which would make way more sense because no body ever believed that that girl was Cole's daughter. And Cole didn't care about his family at all. They were SO forced into the script. The movie could have been so much better if Cole had to fight to protect his little sister who had a dark power from Hanzo being in hell.
Silicon Valley (2014)
Such a great series. But definitely repetitive after 4.
For the first 3 seasons I watched the show for the jokes and to see what happened to Pied Piper. But after season 3, I watched for the jokes and I couldn't care less about Pied Piper. This is a series that out lived it's novelty and coasted to a finish on good writing. The show felt different after cutting TJ Miller (which was totally justified). I just felt like the show lost its anchor after TJ was booted from the show. Which again, I totally feel was justified. I loved this series but would I ever watch it again..... Probably not.
Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (2020)
This is what suicide squad should have been
I gave it a 10 only because I think it was way better than the 6.1 on IMDb. Honestly, I think this movie was an 8. Which is a huge compliment considering the hole it had to dig itself out of because of suicide squad. The only redeeming part of suicide squad is and forever will be Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn. And once again she is what makes birds of prey work. This movie had several flaws..... If it was a marvel movie I would have probably been disappointed. But Margot is the PERFECT Harley! And some of the fight scenes in this were flat out beautiful! It is like gymnastics met UFC. The biggest flaw of this movie is how predictable it is. But..... I understand the choice to make it fun but play it safe after the catastrophe that was suicide squad. This movie is fun, well shot, and worth the time. Imagine a female version of Deadpool, but the only fun character being Deadpool. I definitely want Robbie as Harley from now on and forever!
P.s. imagine if Robbie's Harley met Reynolds Deadpool! Only in a perfect world!
Hamilton (2020)
Worth watching but way overinflated hype
Lin-Manuel is a great rapper, he is not a Broadway singer. His voice was one of the worst voices I have heard from a musical. However, Leslie Odom, Burr, has one of the best voices I have heard from a musical. My second problem with the production is how historically liberal they were with the story of Hamilton's life. It really made me mad how John Adams was barely mentioned and only mentioned negatively. Adams and Hamilton were 2 of the leaders of the Federalist Party. It wasn't until Adams became President that the 2 separated and tore the party in 2 factions.
King George was the best part of the play. In a play portraying so many founding fathers, it is sad that a British monarch was the best part.